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              <text>wow its been so long since i retraced my steps back to that very scary day,  i woke up at 8 something only to see smoke coming out of this building i didnt even know of and well my mom keep me home from school because i was sick that morning but my aunt came over and woke me up and wow there  it was one of my last glances at the world trade center and then i got dressed and ready to go get something to eat and another plane hits and many more died and we went to k mart to get some early christmes shopping done and wow i didnt even know  that it wasnt a accident i thoguht well maybe a plane ran into it then another and well more throughout usa and then someting about a man that i never heard of his name was the blame for all of this caos osama bin laden hade killed the americans all the people that share a country with me and all this stuff is stuffed in my head should i go to school tomarrow or will i be dead 
well the next day i went to school only to find more caos then the day before  my friends were all terrified and so was i im scared of dieing and scared of the word war this never should of happened all we have done was help feed the other countrys and feed peoples kids that people cant eve feed their selves cuz their to stuck up american women's husband are in afganistan trying to end this and you know in the end usa is a bigger and better place more and more friends are meeting to this day a friend is a friend till the very end 
                thanks so much 4 reading my story im in middle school and i feel this way 
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              <text>   I was at work going through my usual routine when Lauren, the mold repair man came to the production floor obviously in an alarmed state.
    He always has a radio on in his backroom where he works and he said that he had just heard a report on the radio that an airliner has smashed into one of the towers of the World Trade Center!
     I immediately went outside to take a look outside because on my drive to work it appeared to be a beautiful day and still was with crystal clear blue skies.
     Being a former holder of a private pilots license I was dumbfounded as to how such an "accident" could possibly happen with such perfect flying conditions.
     Then I don't think it was even an hour later when he came running out again to say that a second plane had struck the other tower.Then it dawned on us all that these were no "accidents". We were being attacked!
   Then the rest of the day just seem to take on a surreal quality as the reports kept coming in of the Pentagon being struck and of the White House and Capital Building being evacuated,an additional plane crashing in Pennslyvannia!
    We were all numbed by shock and confused about what was happening and who it that was doing this to us.Then to me the most surreal and unbelieveable event was when it was reported that one of towers had collapsed which was shortly followed by the collapse of the second tower.
     It was just simply inconcieveable to me that those two hugh majestic towers that I had seen many times, were simply no longer there.I just couldn't fathom that reality.
     Then when I finally arrived home that afternoon there were all those unforgettable images of the billowing smoke. the ghostlike, dust encrusted people walking seemingly in a daze out from the city, the images of the second plane striking the tower playing over and over again until it was mindnumbing to point that I was in a daze as well.
     Then I remember thinking that day of something I had often wondered about.You see I have always been somewhat of a World War 2 history buff and I had tried to imagine what my mother and father felt like when the news flash that Pearl Harbor had been attacked nand that their country was now suddenly at war. I had often tried to imagine what actually experiencing such a tragic, enormous historical, life changing event would be like. Now, regetably,I can finally say that I think I know how now  

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              <text> I was a Junior at Turner County High last year. I remember when the first plane struck the tower I was standing in the doorway of my math class.  I was having a human confesation with a teacher that did not seem to enjoy having me in her class.  A student who's name I can not recall walked in, and turned on the tv just in time for us to see the first plane hit.  I hurried to my chemistry class.  I made it to my seat just in time to look up and see yet a second plane unleash its destruction upon the towers.  I remember the stuned looks on everones faces.  I watched as people leaped from the buildings.  I remember the tears we all shed that day for those that were lost, and those missing, but for me they were certainly for those who made it through.  I froze with fear all day that they would call on one of my brothers to leave, to go fight.  The thought hit me that several of my friends were military as well as my family.  At work we lite candles for the victims of 9-11, friends, family, for the heros, and for the armed service.  A year latter and the same fear arose in me.  My soon to be husband is a Navy man, and he leaves soon. God is with us all, and we are Americans, we will stand strong together.  Thank you for remembering.  GOD BLESS THE USA. </text>
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              <text>That faithful morning I was running very late for my zero period history class that started at abut 6:30. As I was walking out the door, my dad said "hey Jen, come look at this, a plane just crashed into the world trade center." I went and look at it, and I was confused, no one knew why it happened. So I went to school like any other day. When we got in class the teacher turned on the TV and we watched the second plane hit. Then it was determined it was a terrorist attack. The thought of that was very scary and gave me chills. After watching TV for about 15 minutes we went on about or lesson. My next class was Spanish and we did normal work in there. That would prove to be the only class that went along undisturbed by the awful events of that day. Through all the rest of my classes, we didn't do anything except watch TV and listen to the radio. Then I went to band class. Our instructor told us the put all the emotions we were feeling into our music, and we did. And it was the best that song ever sounded. Band was my last class of the day. So I went home and my mom came home early from work. She and I talked about it. I called my bestfriend and she asked me to come over and we'd light candles and sit out on the driveway. Since I didn't have much homework, I went. It was really cool, we lit lots of candles and sat on the driveway. A group of girls came over and sat with us. We played songs like "Angel" and other some what uplifting songs. It was really neat to see much of the neighborhood come together like that and just be together. When I went home, I went to bed hoping that the next morning I'd wake up and it would have all gone away, but it didn't. It was a dream. And now we live basically afraid waiting for another attack. Its really sad that it takes something like this to open our eyes and bring us together.</text>
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              <text>Submitted by James L. Coll, NYPD Police Officer

A Nation of New Yorkers

On one corner of Church Street across from the pile the street sign dangled precariously, much like faith itself.  Daily tallies have graced the pages of the city?s newspapers, reminding us of the dead and the missing.  The number is too high for any of us to conceive.  All of us, directly affected or emotionally attached, have shed more than one tear for the lost, more than one tear for the found and more than one tear for the unknown that has become the future.

Within minutes after United Airlines Flight 175 struck the south tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, off-duty police officers, firefighters and emergency medical technicians were making their way through a labyrinth of roadblocks and traffic congestion into Manhattan to help out in any way possible.  The attack of this second plane, preceded by the crash of American Airlines Flight 11 into the north tower, dismissed any doubt that a terrorist attack was underway in the greatest city in the world.  

A month since the attack, the city has become a different place than it was on September 10.  It is no longer as important, for a time, what Jennifer Lopez is wearing, what Susan Sarandon is saying or whom George Clooney is dating.  The heroes of Yankee and Shea Stadiums have taken a backseat to the heroes of police stations and firehouses, blue-collar workers who cut their own lawns and sit in traffic on the Long Island Expressway just like everyone else.  Mike Piazza, king of the Mets, now wears a crown not of gold but of blue cloth, embroidered with four bold letters: NYPD.  New York City police officers, long held at disregard by a small group of vocal citizens, have had to become accustomed to a grateful public that stops them on the street as many as ten times a tour not to complain about a problem in their daily life but to say ?Thank you.?

Even the hard-hearted among the ranks have been softened in spirit by the outpouring of support that the attacks have generated.  The nation itself has given their hearts and their souls to help in the relief efforts underway in New York, Virginia and Pennsylvania, where two other planes struck the morning of September 11.  Rescuers from distant cities have joined the effort to find life in the wreckage or to pass out food and water to ironworkers laboring beyond exhaustion to bring closure to a grieving family.

Memorial services have begun in New York and in counties that surround the city and into New Jersey and Connecticut for those who have come to grips with their losses.  The sight of a fire truck with the letters FDNY navigating the streets of Long Island would have seemed out of place three weeks ago.  Today, we simply bow our heads in prayer.  Many doorways, storefronts and car windows have been adorned with the beautiful rectangular constellation of the fifty stars and the 13 red and white strips that collectively make up the American flag.  The unity and support has undoubtedly helped many.

New York, a city more famous for fashion than compassion, has reinvented itself.  The heart on the New York City t-shirt that screams in bold letters I LOVE NEW YORK seems to have gotten bigger.  The t-shirt, long a tell-tale sign of a vacationer without fashion sense, has become a staple of city residents, commuters and visitors.  And why not?  Who among us in this nation today does not bear the right to say that they too, in some small way, are a New Yorker?
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              <text>It was already late into the evening on September 11, and I
was trying, unsucessfully to get to sleep.  I have no idea
why I had the pit in my stomach, I usually sleep like a log.
I got up and turned on the television, on every channel I 
saw flames, smoke, and people screaming.  

I was physically about as far away from New York as you 
could get, but as the events unfolded on the screen before
me, I couldn't have felt closer to the tragic scene if I
had been standing in front of it.

Exactly one year has gone by since the tragedy in the states
and as I prepare to attend a memorial service my heart goes
out to the victims and their families who lost so much in
the September 11 attacks.

I am a US citizen who was born in, and has lived in 
Australia for the majority of my life.  As I read the
stories of New Yorkers and people all over the world, my
one wish is that I could ease the suffering and hurt.  
I live in one of the safest and luckiest countries in the
world.  So far Australia has escaped the viscious attacks 
that the US has, unforunatly, been exposed to.  

Despite my love for Australia and its people, I
wish I could be in New York right now, and not a million
miles away.  I want to join together with others and show
terrorists and those that spread such haterid and evil, that
we are stronger, that we will band together to give
strength and love to one another, despite the odds.

I just don't understand how people could cause so much 
suffering on purpose, and my only explination is that they
are jealous.  Jealous of the wonderful freedom and love 
that Americans possess, jealous of the way that they do pull
together in a crisis and gather strength from one another.
And jealous of their pride and patriotism.

Personally, these are the reasons why I love Americans, and
why I am proud to say that I am a citizen of that country,
despite living here in Australia.

Again, my heart goes out to the people who have been hurt
by this tragedy, and the souls of those that were lost.
I am not a religious person, however I will pray for you
all, pray that there can be peace and calm in the hearts 
and minds of all world citizens and that one day we truly
will learn to live together in harmony and tolerance.

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              <text>I had been out of work for several weeks after being fired for falling asleep, because of new medications. My upstairs neighbor (and friend) called me at about noon and told me to turn on my television.  I spent 4 days watching TV and hoping and crying.  

After witnessing the courage of all those people, and especially the unknown circumstances of what the heroes did on flight 93 - I decided my problems were nothing compared to what other people were going through.  I pulled myself together, got a wonderful job as an accountant for the Baltimore County school system, and I constantly remember the inspiration of the people of that day and of the weeks that followed.

Although I am still fighting the still unknown illness, I am trying to begin a business for myself, and whenever I get weary or frustrated, I remember those other who struggles so hard, and I try to accomplish whatever goals I have set for myself for that day.

Today, one year later, I am also at a low ebb, but once again, through the sadness, I believe the inspiration of the courage of 9/11 will help me to turn my life around.  If this tiny good can come to many people from so much sadness, as I believe it must, not only will that day and all the people that have died, or have lost loved ones, not have been in vain; but will have brought the people OF THE WORLD into a greater realization of the importance of PEACE ON EARTH.

My hearts are with everyone that suffered in any way on that fateful day of 9/11.

Diane Howard
Baltimore, MD</text>
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              <text>I was at home, just came from school when i saw on the news what happened. I couldn`t believe it, because NYC its my favorite city, and NY has somehting that other cities don`t have...I sat down and there was on my tv screan one big picture of WTC. And I was watching it and do not have idea what am i watching, i really couldn`t belive it. I mean all these people who died and all families who lost someone. I mean only what i see is building torning down, all was black and ppl were running throught. I really couldn`t belive it this was happening in NY, i remember sayin:"No, why this is happening, why in NY, why in this time, why in this world, what they and what we did to them, to those people who want everything..." I kept sayin` this and i`m still watching the news on CNN, on our channel and everyhting is on mess. I know that i`m not from USA, or from NY so i don`t know how is it, i don` know what is like to lose a family (and i really don`t want to know), i don`t have this feeling what is like when ur town is tearing down. But i saw it, and it was dissaster, I` feeling with these people, I know its been 3 years but its like its happening all over again. New York it will not ever be the same. I feel sorry for all those who has lost someone and. I`m gonna remember this day for ever. All people who lost their lives REST IN PEACE 4EVER.
Ivona</text>
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                                                               September 11, 2001

	


Last year on September 11, 2001 I was in my classroom when I found out what happened. All of the students were talking about it to the teacher. Our teacher told us everything about what happened. I felt sorry for the people that were in the buildings. I remember seeing the replays over and over again on the news. It was devastating and really sad. It was even sad for the families of the people who died on that day.
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      When the two planes hit the World Trade Center; I was walking into Mrs.Tanona's math class last year in the middle school,and I saw the towers fall on t.v.in the classroom.On the bottom of the screen,it said (America is at war).Right then and there I did not know what either the World Trade Center or the Pentagon really were,so after school I went to the Marlboro Boy's and Girls club and the told us what happend today.Later,that day after my mom pick me up,Iwent to my grandparents house.They had all the t.v. on in the house.When the younger boy across the street came home,I told him about what had happend today.When I got home,my nana was cring and said (corey we got bombd and said I will always rember this day).That night my other grammy called and said the terrorists had been near our house in maine.The next week, all sports game's got cancelled,and on Febuary 3rd,football held the super Boul.The New England Patriots were in the super Boul.The Boston Pop's played there,and the New England Patriots won the super Boul beating the St.Louis ram's 20-17


    My faimly really has not been hurt in that way,like when we go on vaction far away we still take air plains . I have noticed that there are more flags on cars and in flower boxes ,flower gardens,some flags at half staf some flags are rising high some on big building's now there are more flags in the newspaper's ,more flages in all magazine and on the news .A lot of building's and school's have come out with programs about September 11th, the Worcester icecats hockey team came out with a new program. After September 11th a lot of sport teams had flags on there shirts.In the American Hockey Leage all the teams had a flag shirt that when the season ended the sold and the money whent to the Twin Towers foundation.


    What I think we should rembered  about September 11th is all the fireman,policeman,EMT's and the people who were in the tradecenter, pentagon,people in the planes.</text>
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              <text>  I was the only one at work the morning of September 11, 2001, and I remember it was a sunny, beautiful morning. I remember thinking it was odd that there were no cars in the parking lot, no people around at all. It was shortly after 10:00 a.m. when my boss called me and asked if I was watching the small TV we keep in back. I replied no, I was working, not watching TV, and thought it odd he would call me and ask that. He then went on to explain that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I remember thinking that it was a terrible accident, but did not fully comprehend what had happened. He told me to turn the Tv on and watch, so I did.
  I was shocked at what I saw on TV. It was not just a small plane, as I originally thought, and not just one tower, but both, and news began breaking about the Pentagon being hit, and possibly more planes still in the air. It felt like the end of the world. I was confused, scared, and could not believe this was happening. I remember saying to myself over and over "what is happening, what is going on".

  I called my boyfriend, who lives in New Zealand,to tell him what was happening. It was about 2:30 a.m. there so I had to wake him up and tell him to turn on his TV. He was also in disbelief over what was going on. We both watched as one tower collapsed, then the other.  We both were trying to piece together bits of information so we could understand what was happening. I remember tears rolling down my face when the towers collapsed. The report came in that a plane had gone down in Pennsylvania. Four commercial airplanes! How could this happen? 
  I had just bought a plane ticket on September 7th to fly to New Zealand in October. Now I was unsure if I was going to be able to go, or if I even wanted to go. Flying was the last thing I wanted to do then. I did not feel safe anymore. I felt very, very vulnerable that day. I also felt a terrible sense of loss--a loss for all those that perished, and the loss of my sense of security. But an amazing thing happened after September 11th.
  Virtually every house, business, and car I saw was flying the American flag. The people of this country banded together. I saw strength and solidarity, compassion and caring. I saw people give their time and their money freely. Donations poured in. Volunteers worked tirelessly. The vulnerability I had felt was being replaced by strength and pride.
  I did go on that trip to New Zealand. I did not feel afraid. I flew on United Airlines, and on one of my connecting flights home, the pilot spoke to us before we took off. He told us to greet the person on either side of us, to know who we were flying with. He asked us not to be passive fliers, but to pay attention to everything that was going on, and not be afraid to speak up if something did not seem right. He told us to band together as Americans, as neighbors, as friends. He said we would NOT allow anyone to take over OUR plane! The passengers all cheered and applauded. We greeted each other and shared names. We were not faceless people on a flight--we were friends. 
  Americans have many different faces, but we are all unifed by one thing--freedom. I will never forget September 11th. </text>
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              <text>I was sitting on my couch,for what I thought would only be a few minutes, as I was recovering from major surgery and was trying to build up my stamina by being up for a few minutes periodically throughout the day.

As I was watching the news, the horror of this day unfolded as I watched the images of these planes almost immediately as it happened.  

After the first plane crashed into the first building, I turned to my husband and said "That has to be deliberate as no plane could fly into the city and a building unless everything on the plane quit functioning.  What seemed to be seconds later, a second plane hit the second building.

I remember a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I prayed out loud that God would send a band of angels to be with the people who were inside these buildings as I knew there would tragically be deaths.  I remember praying "God, please send angels to comfort the people inside. Blanket them with the power of your love."

As events unfolded, the horror grew.  But with the horror grew a new sense of resolve; to appreciate what I sometimes take for granted.  I resolved never again to unappreciate this great country where we take our liberties for granted. I resolved to appreciate the diversity of this country as I saw so many diverse citizens united by this tragdy.

My heart still swells with pride that I can call myself an American and that I live in a country whose citizens rather than being beaten down were strengthened by this tragedy and that so many ordinary citizens arose as heroes.

I have always loved my country but now I appreciate it so much more and realize our future is in every citizen's hands. We can all do out part by continuing to move on with our daily lives and keeping our resolve alive to continue appreciating the freedoms we have, appreciating the diversity of our citizens and keeping alive the vow to never be beaten down by cowardly acts of terrorism.

Rande Brown</text>
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              <text>I was 2 weeks away from completing the USAF Security Forces Academy. We were in the feild that morning, throwing hand grenades and detonating claymore mines, ground combat skills. Much of the academy is mental conditioning, with constant excercises and drills, so it was no real shock when we were informed that a plane had struck the WTC. Just annother drill. Then came the news that BOTH towers had been hit, and the Pentegon was in flames. "They need to make these excercises more realistic" I remember saying to my fellow Airmen. "Something believable, not stuff like this that could never happen." Not one of us was taking the news serriously. This was the USA. NO one would EVER think to attack US here, our HOMELAND. I remember returning to the dorm from the feild and thinking "Hey, they want to play games, fine with me...I'll just relax here in my room, put some music on the radio..."...There of course was no music to be heard on the radio that day. Just the news...it was real...VERRY, TERRIBLY REAL. I still remember the feeling...a sickness in the stomach, tears streaming down my face, my blood boiling in total rage....when they finally released us from our rooms to watch the president adress the nation on the big screen in the dayroom, everyone was just...silent. When the president steped out of Marine 1, every Airman in the room, without command but perfectly syrcronized rose to full attention...I will always remember that as the day I stopped being a boy and became a Soldier....</text>
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              <text>My Husband called me and asked if I was watching the news.  I had not had time to turn on the television.  I was busy getting ready for work, and getting my three sons ready for school as well.  I turned on the TV and all else seemed to disapear.  I felt panic inside my own body, I couldn't move!  My body was just frozen in disbielief in front of the TV.  My sons asking me questions that I was not able to comprehend.  I wanted my Husband to come home, I didn't want to leave my house for work, I just wanted to sit and rock my children and just be together as a family!  I felt the tears running down my cheeks and realized I was crying.  The fear had overwhelmed me.  My husband told me to stay calm and try not to scare the children.  He encouraged me to go to work and try to support the children and staff at work and we would see each other after work.  I reported to work only to see that I was not alone in feeling these things.  I called my Mother in California to tell her that I loved her and hoped that hearing her voice would sooth my inside panic as it did when I was a small child.  I knew that there was a lot happening around the world and I prayed to God to make it alright for us all.  I work with the mentally and physically challenged children at the High School Level and felt that I needed to keep on going like nothing had happened for their sake.  They are so sensitive to their surroundings, and they needed me to me my best.  And I was.       </text>
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              <text>Life Back to Normal ? Back to my New Normalcy 

Tonight I took a walk downtown, not downtown USA but in a foreign country, that?s where my aviation job takes me, looking for some normalcy in my life.

For you see a little more then a week ago I was in my firehouse watching the TV when the second plane hit the WTC#2 tower, and then as the reports broke in as the Pentagon was struck. I Listen as people on TV yelling call 911, I was their 911 and then I walked amongst the devastation that was brought to my home land, I walked amongst the damaged caused to the Pentagon as a fire fighter, not as a hero but as a fire fighter, Searching the halls not for rescue but recovery. I remember when I arrived there looking at the devastation, at that moment I was no longer a spectator. As I walked the hallways my mind was thinking just another fire, just another fire, and then I saw the wreckage of the plane. My two worlds, my two loves had collided, literally, Aviation and fire fighting.

I watched the next day as the TV reports of an amateur video after the WTC collapsed, with hundreds of PASS alarms going off - the sounds of chirping doves, and remember someone on the TV asking what is that noise? I knew exactly what it was, hundreds of Brother and Sister Fire Fighters, DOWN, there Personal Alert devices activated by their lack of movement. This thought will never leave my mind, it felt like the old Show where you watched the dirty hands hitting a chisel with the heavy hammer leaving the marks of that day, month and year into stone forever- the image and sound was burnt deep inside my mind.

I watched the faces of those around me as I walked in my foreign town, some smiling, some with blank stares; I watched as a young girl and her friends argue in a language I couldn?t understand. For most of these people, life is normal once again. They where not affected by what I had seen.

I walked in to a restaurant and took off my jacket, the jacket bares the name of the airline I work for, and underneath was I wore a fire fighter T-shirt proud at what I do. As I sat and tried to work my way threw the menu, none of it in English, when someone taps me on the shoulder and asked where I am from? I said America with a proud voice, and where you there? They asked, my voice now shaken, yes I was I replied, and how do you feel now? Was the next round of questioning, Wow I thought that?s a question, I have been asking myself for a week now, and getting little sleep because of it, how do I feel? 

How do I feel? Its hard to explain to someone who wasn?t there, but it?s a question I have been asked a lot, and I thank those that cared enough to ask and apologies for not answering. To be brought up in a family who has a long history in the military I was mad, wanting revenge now, swift and hard, and as a fire fighter I didn?t want to see anyone harmed because that meant I would be called to duty again, and as a human I wanted my life too be normal again, I wanted it all to be a dream a very bad dream.

I realized a tear had formed in the corner of my eye, wet and cold, something I have not had since I was five, because big boys don?t cry, I quickly sucked it up and answered the question. I feel like and American Fire Fighter, who?s might loose his job in aviation, and wants military revenge for those brothers and sisters who gave their life trying to save a soul. And I want my life back to Normal; I got up and went to my apartment and cried life a baby in search for his lost mother.

When I was through crying I sat down and typed this: I realized to each person, no matter what the race, creed, religion, sex, sexual preference, or education level, each person has there own feelings, there own threshold of pain and anger, there own beliefs and opinions and has a god given right to express them as they see fit, and there is no better place to express all of those but back home in the USA. 

I am not a very religious person, born into the catholic faith, I don?t practice, as I should, my mother and sister often remind me of that. But my faith and life have come together for me, and it took a tragedy to do it, sad I know.

God bless my brother and sisters fire fighters who gave there souls trying to save a friend and a neighbor, God bless those who have lost there jobs because of this act of terrorism, god bless those that lost the innocent life, God bless those in the military who stand on the wall and protect me night after night. God Bless my Children and God bless America. 

My life will never be back to normal; but my new life has a fresh meaning. Life is short, don?t argue or fight over it, and its not worth killing someone over. Hold those people you love as often and as long as you can before you leave for work each day, and before you go to bed at night, Live each day to the fullest and you will have peace until life comes to its end.

Charles B. Loraine. Sr
Fire Fighter ? Aircraft Mechanic - Father and American
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              <text>My son's birthday is September 11th.  That morning we were in our usual rush to get out the door and get me to the subway.  My baby was turning 3 and we had planned a dinner for him followed by presents and cake.  I had just started a job at a brokerage firm  and worked on the 25th floor of 2 Rector. Our back offices had a coveted view of the World Trade Center. 
I got to work a few minutes late, and our daily conference call had started already.  It was about 8:40.  I plopped down in my chair and waved ruefully at my co-workers.  The guys, as they always did, had faxed our breakfast order already.  I re-wrote it to include my order and set it on the fax.

&lt;&lt;BOOOM!&gt;&gt;
The most terrifically loud sound I've ever heard shook the building.  In a split second I managed to face the row of windows behind me to see flaming wreckage fly by.  
'Oh my god, what the F*** WAS that?'  I said. 'Oh, my god, I think an airplane hit a building! I saw a logo on a piece of shiny metal'.

As everyone rushed to the windows, I began yelling that we had to get out of the building.  I pulled my co-worker Danny away from the window, concerned that if it had been a gas explosion or something else our windows might shatter.  Six of us ran for the elevators, beginning a terrible journey for us all.

We were shaking hard by the time we got down to street level.  Already there were sirens, a car accident on the corner, and debris falling like snow everywhere.  My coworkers vanished around the corner - from there we had a clear view of the WTC, aflame, only one block away.  I pulled out my cellphone and called my husband at work.  We are a military family living on Fort Hamilton and he was at work there, in Brooklyn.  I was shaking so badly I could hardly keep the phone to my ear.  He picked up and I started to cry.  "Turn on the tv's"  I said as I explained what I thought was happening. "Roy, I don't think it was an accident - there's no f***ing way!".

I told him I didn't know what to do, stay or if I should leave and try to get on a subway train headed for Brooklyn.  He told me to hang tight, and to call him back in 10 minutes.  
"Promise me you'll call me back."  he said. 

We hung up, and I lit a cigarette.  Around our building on two sides runs an overhang, creating a porch or veranda-like structure.  After buying a Gatorade (I was feeling very shocky) I went around to the protected side, where a man was stumbling to a halt, falling to the ground and pouring blood from his cut up forearms.  His name is Pat, and since I don't know if he made it I'll speak of him in the present tense. He began to cry, and I went to him, sinking down to the ground next to him.  I asked him if he was okay, if he needed an ambulance, and he shook his head.  He told me he was a maintenance worker for the WTC, and he had been arriving at work when the first plane hit. 
He dove under his truck and waited till the debris stopped raining down.  While running across the street he had fallen and cut up his arms and knees and legs in the glass and metal that littered the street.  
"oh god, there were bodies and body parts in the street.  The street is full of blood" he said, broken up. 
I gave him some of my Gatorade and talked with him for a moment.  Looking up, a young woman had entered the porch and was standing alone by us.  

"You," I said. "Go inside and get some towels and some water.  I have an injured man here."  Glad to have something to do, she went inside the building to get the items. 

When she came back, we introduced ourselves.  I would think of her later as an angel, my angel, and we have become great friends.  Her name is Michelle, and I couldn't have gotten through the rest of that day without her. I'm so grateful to know her.  

There was no water, only paper towels, so as gently as I could I wiped away some of the blood covering Pat's arms. Not being an EMT I was leery of hurting him, or of possible shards of glass stuck in his flesh, so I was very careful.  He wanted to call his mother to tell her she was alright, and as he spoke I realized my cell phone was ringing.  By the time I got to it it had stopped - that was my last contact with my husband for a few hours. I didn't keep my promise to call him back - I had forgotten, and now it was too late.  Trying to get a line out, my cell phone died. Michelle's phone was down too.  Pat stumbled off to find a landline to call his mom - we didn't see him again.  I hope he got through, and made it home to his mom.

The next hour or so runs together in my mind.  There is that 'accident' quality to it, where everything happens so slowly, and I have gaps in my memory.  I know that Michelle and I stayed together.  We went around the corner to look at the building on fire.  By the time we came back around the porch there was another terrific explosion - the second building had been hit, and people could be heard discussing reports from radios they had just bought about the Pentagon.  We knew now what we were dealing with.  Terrorism.  And the scariest part was a horrible, insular feeling of being small, unprotected, alone, and targeted by unknown assailants.  We didn't know if they were bombing us, but in those moments I knew that we could very well die today.  I didn't want to die, and I knew the worst fear of never seeing my husband and son again.  Michelle and I stuck together.  

When the rumbling started, we grabbed each other. People were screaming, and running en masse in the street.  They were coming our way, and I think I said, 'We have to get out of the street!'

It was too late by then, though.  There was nowhere to run and I was horror stricken that I didn't know WHAT to do. 
The crowd surrounded us and Michelle and I managed to gain the porch as they swept around us. 

The building collapsed, the first of them, and we were engulfed in the grey-brown dust and debris of the cloud.  We couldn't see, we couldn't breathe.  A woman next to me, of perhaps middle years, kept repeating, 
'Cover your mouth and nose.  Keep your mouth and nose covered.'
Her voice was so soothing, and so calm.  I grabbed the end of my shirt and hauled it ineffectually over my face.  I had so much filth in my mouth I could hardly spit it all out, but I did as the voice said, and did the best I could.  
I remember Michelle saying, "Shira, I can't see you - where are you?" I cracked my eyes open and they stung - I found her hand and held it.  "I want to go home and see my baby, Michelle."  "You will,' she said, 'you're going to go home and see him'.  I didn't know if she would be right or not.

The soft breeze blowing filth over us was lessening.  Our hair was covered with it, our skin, faces, I could feel it falling down the neck of my shirt, in my pants, everywhere.  If I had to imagine nuclear winter, this would be my interpretation of the scene. The debris softly pattered against bare skin - I'll never forget that feeling.

People were crying.  Some had waited only moments to let the cloud pass and were running blindly in the dark. From the gloom came a man's voice, and I will remember it as long as I live.  I later told my family that it reminded me of something Jesus might say, where he here in flesh. 
"Join hands, and follow me - follow the sound of my voice."

We joined and we followed.  He led us into a building across the street, all of us.  It was clean, and the air was good.  They had supplies, torn up (clean) rags, and cases of bottled water.  We were given what we needed, and asked if we were alright.  I was never so grateful for anything in my whole life.  Michelle and I sank down in a corner and cleaned ourselves up as best we could.  We laughed a little, too. In the midst of all this it was so good to have a moment of ease.  We were herded into another room, an interior room, where we waited for maybe an hour.  In that time, of course, the second WTC building fell.  We sat listening to the radio as others poured into the building.  From the windows in another area, downtown looked like a deserted war zone. 

Police were checking buildings, looking for injuries, and we were told that there was one ferry leaving for Staten Island.  Michelle and I looked at each other.  I said, "well, in for a penny, in for a pound.  Let's do it, but you'll have to lead because I'm all turned around and don't know which way the Ferry building is anymore."

On the way to the ferry building I managed to find a public phone that worked, and called my husband.  His boss answered, and I relayed to him that I was going to Michelle's apartment on Staten Island for the night, and would call later when i could.  I gave him Michelle's phone number and address.
We got on that ferry, and Michelle and I turned to watch the city burn, numb with shock and sadness.

I was unable to get home until about 10 a.m the next day when the Narrows bridge was re-opened. My husband came to pick me up, numb, sad, tearful. 
Michelle and I didn't want to part, but I had to go to my home and my life and my baby, whose 3rd birthday I will always regret missing. I will be there for the rest, though.  Alive, happy, whole.  And grateful.


*with immense gratitude, and deepest love for Michelle R.*

S, R, &amp; CJ
(and Licorice doggie, too)
Fort Hamilton, NY
May 16, 2002

g-d bless america






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              <text>Before and After

That morning I woke with a start. White light was filtering through the blinds. The night before had been nearly sleepless. My mother had been rushed in for emergency surgery. All night I waited for the phone to ring; I waited for the worst. But Saturday morning dawned and no news was good news. Dan and I were supposed to meet a friend in New York City. I decided I had to overcome my worry and go. 

That day ? October 19, 2000 ? would be our last visit to the old New York. 

It?s amazing, what I remember and don?t remember. I can see us missing the Metro North train to the city, stuck in traffic on Interstate 95, fretting over our nearly empty gas tank. I picture us arriving at cavernous Grand Central Station, the echo of voices, the bumping of elbows, pushing toward the outside. I remember the Pier, purchasing tickets for a Circle Line boat cruise; grabbing a bite to eat at McDonalds; climbing aboard the inside part of the boat, behind the glass, and finding seats, slowly rocking back and forth.

I don?t remember the World Trade Center. I don?t believe it ever crossed my mind.

We took the three-hour ride that sailed all the way around Manhattan. Dan, our friend Kathy and I sat on the right side of the boat. As we pulled out into the water, we had a spectacular view of the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. 

I enjoyed listening to the voices all around me. There were British accents and others speaking in French, Spanish; maybe Italian. As we approached the Statue of Liberty, tears inexplicably filled my eyes. I had never seen it up close. I thought for a moment so many others who came before me, seeing this very sight for the first time.

Then we began to turn, curving around the southern tip of Manhattan. The day was glorious. I took off my sweatshirt, baking in the sun. To our left was the city, but being so far out on the water, and being inside rather than on the top level of the boat, it was impossible for any of us on the right side to see it. Only the bottom-most tips of the buildings were visible. 

Maybe those on the other side were looking up with their mouths open in awe at the sheer size of the twin towers. Maybe. I only remember being slightly irritated as we buzzed along. But then I looked up as we chugged directly under the Brooklyn Bridge, and, thrilled at the unique perspective, forgot about being perturbed. 

That was the opening day of the much-hyped Subway Series between the Yankees and the Mets. We sailed right past Yankee Stadium, where Game 1 would be played that evening. The leaves on all of the trees along the side of the water were just beginning to be tinged with color. 

My legs grew stiff and my seat became sticky. As we drew near to completing the circle, I began to fret about home again. It had been three hours since I'd called home about my mom. Anything could happen in three hours. I needed to get to a phone.

Everyone was outside that afternoon. I saw ESPN interviewing people about the baseball game. Music came from somewhere; teenagers were dancing as a crowd circled around them. 

I pushed through the bodies and called home. My mom was doing OK; just very sleepy. I heaved a sigh of relief. We?d made it. Everything was going to turn out all right. My heart stopped pounding.

Sometimes memories linger like colors or textures in my mind. Different days take on different shades. To me, that visit to New York was a soft, golden day ? like the afternoon sun, sliding to a lower, more distant autumn angle, but still keeping us warm. 

I picture the day we returned to the city ? October 21, 2001 ? in terms of piercing oranges and gray-blues. Orange was the fires still burning that I could not see but could smell, and for the sun that cracked between the downtown buildings, hurting our eyes. And the blues were the cool shadows of the silent streets, and the concrete free of cars, stretching before us.

But that time was still far removed from us, as we climbed back on the train, feeling a little sweaty and a little rumpled, but satisfied. We were ready to go home. By the time we pulled out of the station my thoughts had turned to my next day plans.

I think of that afternoon often. I remember it now as an imperfect day, sprinkled with worry but intrinsically good, like a favorite picture framed behind glass that is just slightly cracked. 

Whenever I leap back to then I stand frustrated beside my former self. Look, look around, look up, I silently urge. Let it sink in your mind. I wonder why, being the prescient person I usually am, I felt no urging, no nudging. Someone, something should have warned me this was the last day. Someone should have told me to cherish it, painstakingly carve it into my memory, and make sure I said goodbye.

?

?
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              <text>     On September 11th, 2001, terrorism struck in New York, New York, Washington D.C., and in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.
At Logan Airport in Boston, MA, people walked on to planes not knowing that it would be their last day alive.  When the first plane hit, there was disbelief.  When the second, plane hit there was horror.  When it continued only getting worse, there was shock and confusion.  

     That day I sat in school and did my work just like any other day, not knowing the commotion going on around in the world.  I sat in my seat during English class, and my teacher said, "The guidance does not want me to do this, but I feel you have a right to know."  He turned on the television and there it was, channel after channel filled with horrifying pictures and videos.  They contained information and sights that are unforgettable and will stick in my mind forever.  My thoughts ran straight to my family.  While staring at the T.V. in awe, I thought who? What? Where? When? and Why?

     Did September 11th change our lives?

     If someone said that September 11th didn't change their life, then they would be lying.  I believe that it changed everone's lives.  It woke us up and showed us how precious life really is and how quickly it can be taken away.  We know now that our existence is not something to take for granted.  The pain and sadness hit everyone, some more than others. When the terrorists wanted to harm us, they didn't.  The victims courage and strenth will only make us stronger and more courageous.  The changes we made in our lives were good and bad, but all of them taught us how to appreciate ourselves and others.

     What should be remembered about Septamber 11th 2001?

     The victims of September 11th, 2001, who had their lives taken and those who died trying to help others will be remembered forever.  The anger, confusion, and sadness all stirred up to make the power of America.  9-11-02 showed the giving from one to another in the time of need. The courage to withstand it all:that is what should be remembered about September 11th. America has changed forever because, istead of just losing loved ones, we gained all the strength that they ever had.



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