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              <text>  I had been a member of the Pentagon police department, the Defense Protective Service, from 1988 until September 2000.  I no longer worked at the Pentagon on September 11, 2001, but I knew many people that did.  When I heard what had happened, I boarded a Metro Subway train to go to the building, or as close as I could get.
  The smoke from the fires was visible eight miles away in Alexandria.  I could only get to within three miles of the Pentagon. The train would go no further.  I decided to walk the remaining distance along Route 1.
  From the time I left the train (about noon) until the time I reached the Pentagon parking lot (about 1 pm), I was the only person walking toward the site.  However, there was a continuous line of people and cars going in the opposite direction.  Those on foot were making better time, steadily putting distance between themselves and the crash site. (Traffic was virtually at a stand-still.) There was no sign of panic.  
   I saw only one civilian aircraft land at National Airport, and it was escorted by a fighter jet.  I thought that unusual, and ominous, to see and hear the sound of a fighter over the Nation's Capital, but it was a sight/sound that would become familiar in following days.
   I arrived near the Pentagon, wanting to help in some way, but, of course I could not enter the compound.  I climbed a nearby hill and watched the fires burn out of control. A lone fire truck kept up a pathetic and ineffective stream of water.  There was a black scorch mark running along about half the west side of the Pentagon--evidence of a fireball.
    A small crowd had gathered on the hill, which, had at one time been the site of a Union Fort built to protect the Capital.  Ironically, it bore silent witness to an assault that could not be prevented.  Radios told the story of the Pentagon and what had happened in New York and Pennsylvania.  People wondered where the terrorists would strike next and whether such an attack, if launched, could be prevented.  
    For me, it was personal.  I trained and prepared for years to protect the building, as had my colleagues on the police department, yet when the time came we were bystanders.  Nobody had expected an attack by civilian aircraft.  Fortunately, no officer on the Defense Protective Service was killed.  But, in subsequent months, talking to the police officers, there was universal frustration that they could do so little and could not save more people.  They took pride, however, as they pointed out that they stood by their posts and did the best they could responding to the attack even as most people evacuated the area.  
    I left the Pentagon overlook around mid-afternoon and walked the ten miles to my home (it was quicker that taking a bus, with traffic at a stand-still).  I felt a bit anxious, guilty and powerless and, like others, wondered what the following days would bring.
    
    
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              <text>						Beth 
										English
										9/11 essay
										9/11/02

On September 11, 2001 the United States was changed dramatically. Early that morning people from the terrorist group al Queda hijacked four planes and sent three of the four into buildings. Two smashed into the World Trade Centers and one crashed into the Pentagon. The planes hit the Twin Towers so hard and fast that they made them collapse killing thousands of innocent people. The other plane that was hijacked by the terrorists, crashed into the earth in Somerset County in Pennsylvania killing the people on board. That day was very traumatic for me hearing all these things happening near by. 

Around ten o?clock that morning someone came on the loudspeaker and announced that there was an explosion at the Pentagon and Twin Towers. I didn?t think much about it until I went into my science class and my teacher had the news on. I saw the plane crash into the towers and them falling. I was in shock. I didn?t think it was real, it looked like a movie. They canceled afternoon sports and everyone went home. When I got home my mom was home from work early and gave me a huge hug. She said all she wanted to do was hug me and my brother the whole day. I was really scared since I live right outside Philadelphia, thinking they might blow up some of the historical sites, like the Liberty Bell. Thank goodness they didn?t, but no one knew what was going to happen. 

Thankfully no one from my family was hurt, but my mom was calling our family members seeing if everyone was alright. Especially her sister who lives in North Jersey. I knew a couple people who were supposed to be at the Twin Towers, but weren?t going to be their until later that day. Before 9/11 my family never really showed a lot of affection, but now we do. I give my mom hugs and tell my parents that I love them, because you never know if that will be the last time you speak to them. 

I do think America has changed in the last year, but not dramatically. We still are obsessed with stupid television shows and music, but we are more aware of the things around us. I also think we became more united as a country. When the tragedy happened we bonded together and helped the people who lost loved ones. 

The United States was extremely surprised at what happened to us. We never thought that anyone could come into our country and hurt us so hard. Now we know that things bad can happen. Hopefully people will remember September 11 and what happened, so we can prevent anything like that happen to us again.
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              <text>It was the second week of college and I was sitting in the lecture hall waiting for the chef to begin his lesson.  Although it was early morning, the room was filled with noise and excitement.  The television in the room was set on a cooking show while we waited for the chef to begin.  Just before the class began, a student came running into the room prompting the chef to change the channel to CNN.  As the news came on, the entire lecture hall fell silent at what was being put in front of us.  The lively spirit of the room quickly flew out the window as we watched the twin towers burn and collapse.  Soon after, we were evacuated with the rest of downtown Toronto, to reflect and watch what had just happened.</text>
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              <text>I had been at a birthday party of a friend and I was getting home at 10.30pm Australian time (8.30am NYC time).  I decided to turn on the TV for a while before going to bed.  A local sports show was interupted by a breaking news story.  
It took me some time before I realised that the burning building in the picture was one of the WTC Towers in NYC.  I could hardly belive what I was seeing.  I was trying to make myself belive that it was something that could be detained and put right until....out of the side of the TV screen came a plane.  As they say - the rest is history.
NYC had a special meaning to me at that time.  My best friend had just excepted a 2 year contract to work and live in the city.  He was due to fly out of Australia on September 27th.  He took that flight and is still there.
Even though I am on the other side of the world my heart breaks everytime I see the images of that day.  I have had the chance to visit NYC in May 2002 and I fell in love with it and the people.  I just wish that I had had the chance to see the Towers tall and strong.  I did visit the WTC site with a heavy heart.  In a way I felt like I was intruding.  All those people who's lives ended in such a senseless way - their families desperate for something to hold onto.  I felt like I was prying into their lives. If I was - I'm sorry.  
My love goes out to everyone involved in the rebirth of a great city.  Stay strong. 
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              <text>Christmas in New York ~ December 23 &amp; 24, 2001

Arriving 

We tumble off the train and move forward in fits and starts. On the Main Concourse at Grand Central Station, words and footsteps echo. If I look up to admire the vast ceiling sprinkled with stars, I?ll stop the traffic flow. So we keep moving, searching for the subway to Times Square. We walk deeper into the bowels of the station. Everything around us is concrete and orange light and litter and screeching metal. When a train barrels past it brings with it a hot, fumy smell. 

From behind a pillar I hear a song. Someone is playing a trumpet. The notes bounce off the walls and resonate all around us. When we climb onto the subway car, though, the doors seal away the music. We?ve packed ourselves in quite nicely, though some of us are stuck standing. Near me a girl of about 10 is resting her head on her mother?s shoulders. "There are so many people, it?s scary," she whispers. 

"I know," her mother whispers back. She smoothes her hair again and again, as the train begins to move.

?

Central Park

The city looms to on either side as we walk down winding paths, past gnarled trees. Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop. Horse-drawn carriages prance by on a thoroughfare. Each one is decorated a little differently for the season, with bows and wreaths and flowers. Red-nosed couples or families sit under blankets and watch us.

There are rocks everywhere. I never knew that about Central Park. They are great climbing rocks. Kids see them and start running, ready to attack the mountain. One mother is yelling, "Get down from there NOW!" Her son is dangling off a ledge about 20 feet from the ground, a big grin on his face. The mom looks at me with exasperation that hints of a smile. 

There is a skating rink. It is so crowded that if you happened to fall, you?d probably just tip into someone else and bounce back up. No one seems to mind anyway. They are laughing or chasing each other or trying to stay balanced. 

?

Last-Minute Shopping

We walk into Macy?s and for a moment, I stand and look. Ahead of me, above the shoppers? heads, are countless arches of garland. They are clustered with glittered fruit, ornaments, and ribbon, and attach at each end to golden angels that hang from pillars. 

There is floor after floor of anything you could ever want to buy. We take the escalator, which is wooden and ancient. I?ve never seen anything like it. As I get off, I see a woman in her seventies standing and admiring the endlessly moving stairs. Then she takes a picture. 

Outside FAO Schwartz teenagers wearing Red Cross T-shirts are handing out hot chocolate. A line stretches from the front doors and out behind the building. A man squawks out through a megaphone, "Come on over, folks! The line?s moving quickly."

Inside is a crush of people and children. "Look! Cotton candy making machines!" Someone exclaims behind me. I see lots and lots of teddy bears, a room dedicated just to Barbie Dolls, and Lincoln Logs. 

A man tending to his three children loses sight of one, a little girl of about three, for a moment. I watch her drift into the masses of shoppers, her eyes widening in fear. She begins to cry. Just as I head over to help her, another woman stops and asks her what is wrong. She beckons a store employee to help. 

There is so much to see. I wish I could play. But there are so many people that I am sweating and it?s hard to see in front of us. So we head back into the crisp December afternoon.

?

The Church

At St. Patrick?s Cathedral, the ceiling arches far above us. There is a smattering of people inside. Some walk in and immediately light a candle. Others rush down the aisles to get to the front. Cameras flash. I see a man holding a little dog. 

Others have obviously come in for just a little while for a respite from the cold and to rest their tired feet. Many people are sitting in the pews, straight and gazing ahead, as if they are waiting or hoping for a mass to begin. 

And some have come to pray. I see them from the corner of my eye. I feel guilty watching and invading a private moment. They sink to their knees and bow their heads, oblivious to the constant din of voices. There in mid-afternoon as children run by laughing, they hold their conversations with God.

?

The Movie

We decide to go to the movies across the street from our hotel in Times Square. "Lord of the Rings" is playing. 

We have to take three escalators just to get to theater number 12. Many people are already seated. We squeeze past at least 10, apologizing at every step, then sink into our seats.

I like the movie but find my mind drifting at times. There are many characters to keep track of and I?ve never read the books. Still, I?m mesmerized by the special effects and the story. 

There is this moment toward the end when the main character thinks about the hardships he is enduring. He is close to giving up. "I wish I had never been given the ring," he says. "I wish all of this had never happened." 

"We all do," his mentor tells him. He continues with something like, "There is nothing you can do now except take the time that has been given to you and try to make a change. It?s up to you to change the world." 

I hear sniffles in the darkness around me. At first I think it?s just one person with a cold. But then I hear more, and I see several people nearby quickly wiping their eyes. I realize that the words have either struck a chord or hit a nerve with the people around me. 

How we all wish none of this had ever happened. Most of us are silent as we pour out into the lobby, and then the night. The sidewalks are wet. They reflect back thousands of lights, chasing away the darkness, keeping the streets alive. 

?

The Subway

It?s the morning of Christmas Eve, and I?m riding the subway alone. Dan is still buried under warm blankets in our hotel room. 

The train is quiet and far from crowded. As we start moving, a black man with a white beard steps in from the car behind us. He?s holding a saxophone. As we rush ahead into the darkness, he begins to play. Inside I sing with him.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Let your heart be light.
From now on our troubles will be out of sight.

A man next to me in a suit and tie does not look up from the newspaper. Others gaze vacantly ahead. Their eyes tell me nothing. I listen and stare across out the window and see that another train is racing beside us. We are moving just slightly faster. It is so close I can see the faces inside each window. 

The notes from the saxophone swell and wash over me. Suddenly I?m alone with the music and these brief flashes of other lives. I watch and see mothers and children, an Asian teenager, an older white woman; a black face looking back at me or through me.

This is New York, I think as we pull ahead of the other train and the faces vanish. The man finishes his song, picks up his instrument case, and moves haltingly forward. A young blond woman gives him a dollar. He smiles and thanks her and walks to the next car, as we barrel on toward 34th Street. 

?

Ground Zero

Everything is different. It has been nine weeks since I was here last. The streets are streets again. Stores are opened. And the smell?that awful, electrical, dank smell, has diminished. 

Of course life here cannot be normal. Normal must now be a dim memory for the people who live and work in these buildings. This is still a grim, somber place. But as I walk and watch, I can sense a change since October. I think it is acceptance. 

On the ground floor of One Liberty Plaza, which once faced the World Trade Center, the shops have reopened. Starbucks employees are wearing Santa caps and are passing out samples on the sidewalk. Inside, people are milling about and ordering bagels. I ask for my standard Cchai and tell the woman to keep the change from my $20, as if that?s going to help business. Still, seeing the smile on her face makes me feel warmer than my drink.

Outside, I keep walking. There are people everywhere, with cameras, with their children, craning their necks to see the rubble. All any of us can truly see is the tops of cranes. You could almost pretend that this was just a big construction job going on; that is, those of us who don't really belong here.

I stop at a cookie shop. I don?t even want a cookie, but I walk in anyway. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire?" is blaring from somewhere. Two women behind the counter look up and smile. One is sliding fresh baked chocolate chip cookies off a sheet. Everything here is so warm and cozy and feels so nice, it?s almost surreal. For a split second I think of these two incredibly kind faces and imagine what they were doing on September 11. Then I?m embarrassed because tears have come to my eyes. I realize they are tears of relief that these people are here and alive and are able to smile. But I can?t tell them that. 

"Um, I?d just like a chocolate chip cookie," I say, not really looking one of the women in the eye.

"Just one?" she teases. "You can?t have just one." 

Back out in the cold I hold my cookie and my Chai and watch other people see it all for the first time. Their eyes drift across the flowers and banners and pictures and teddy bears that still adorn some of the fences and building walls. Some wipe tears from their eyes or just stand in awe. These people are the minority, though. 

There are less reverent visitors now. Some lean out of the windows of cars slowly driving by, pointing video cameras. Others try to sneak past barriers. A group of Japanese tourists are laughing and arguing about how to line up in front of the camera. One man is trying to capture Ground Zero as the backdrop to the picture. 

I watch them giggling and feel anger rise within me. Then I see a police officer, a beautiful black woman in her thirties, watching them also. 

"Does this bother you?" I ask her when they walk away. "All of these people, taking pictures?"

"No," she says without hesitation. "Everyone has to process this in their own way." She doesn?t sound resigned or even sad. I detect this strength about her that I wish was contagious. 

Maybe it?s resilience. I see it everywhere, as I walk back to the subway. Recovery workers are greeting each other and laughing. Some of them hold surgical masks in their hands and are soiled with soot. They have seen unspeakable things. These days are long from over. But in this little moment, they are smiling.

?

Going Home

There has to be a seat somewhere, we are both thinking as we walk briskly past car after car. This is the 1:07pm train to New Haven, and everyone else in New York has decided to take it. 

We walk and peek and walk and walk. Every seat is full. People are sitting on the floor. Others are squeezing through the doors with bags of Christmas gifts. I see a man holding a cat in a carrier. 

In the last car, we are able to squish into two tiny seats across from a brother and sister. The boy, about 14, is engrossed in a Game Boy and simultaneously listening to music over headphones. His sister is working on subtraction problems in a workbook. That is, when she can sit still. 

Another girl, maybe 12, gets on with her mother just as the doors are about to close. She has braces and a sweet quietness about her. In her arms she holds a plastic case with a parakeet inside. 

In five minutes, the two girls become friends. "Your name is Katherine?" the older one says softly. "That?s my name!" The little one grins and swings her feet. "How many stops until we?re there?" she demands of her father. "Lots," he says in a voice that tells her not push it.

We burst out from the tunnel and into the light. Already the city around us seems like a different place; just gray buildings and bridges in the hazy distance, so I don?t look for long. And anyway, the man is collecting tickets. 

"I?m having a bad day today," he says, but doesn?t sound like he means it, chuckling as he pushes to the back of the car.

The city is gone. When my eyes tire from reading I watch the girl with the bird gaze out of the window. She cradles what she holds instinctively and protectively in her arms, as if she?ll never let it go.

?

?
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              <text>My father had a triple by-pass performed at the U of PA hospital 9/10/2001. I travelled from my home in CT with my 9yr. old daughter to stay at my sister's house with my mother, who came from Atlantic City; and my brother who came from Canada.

My husband called when the first plane hit the WTC. He woke me up.  As if what he said was in a dream, I went back to sleep.  I thought it was a part of my dream.  He called again when the second plane crashed. I woke up my family and we watched CNN,like the rest of the nation, in horror.

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              <text>I arrived for work a little late - a couple of minutes past
 nine.  I had a feeling immediately that something was 
strange around the office as two of my coworkers were 
staring intently at a TV scree.  They looked up and told me
 that two planes had crashed into the World Trade Center
 buildings. For some reason it didn't completely sink in 
immediately - I turned on my computer.  As we were sitting 
there, trying to figure out what was going on, the reality
 began to dawn on all of us.  My chief of staff and 
legislative director disappeared into the Congressman's 
office.  Looking out our window, we have a perfect view of the 
Capitol Building - about 400 yards away.  I remember asking,
"Are we safe here right now."  A friend from another office
called me, to see what we were doing.  Our chief of staff 
came out,looking visibly shaken.  He said that we were closing
down and that we should all get go home.  Avoid the metro, he
said - no one is sure what's going on.  I tried to call my girlfriend
who also works in the city, but she wasn't answering because she
was in a staff meeting - she didn't find out for another half hour. 

I called my friend back 
and she offered her apartment as a place to go.  I refused,
seeing how she lived on Capitol Hill and I wanted to get out of 
the city.  We decided to go to my apartment in Silver
Spring, MD.  It was at that point that a news report came on that
there had been a car bomb explosion at the State Department.

We all left the office quickly, and I headed over to the Cannon
Building to meet my friend.  I remember taking the stairs, rather
than the elevator out of a fear of being trapped if something 
happened.  Everyone was moving quickly, but not in a paniced 
way.  Capitol Police were moving tourists along - the evacuation
order hadn't come down yet, but it would in a matter of minutes.
I met my friend and we immediately got in her car.  I turned on 
National Public Radio to see what was happenign.  It was almost 
surreal - they were broadcasting a report on the budget and the 
Social Security lock box!  Flipping throught the dials, we found
Elliot in the Morning, a local shock jock who dumped his usual 
schtic for real reporting.  He was great and helped to keep us a 
little calm.  

We drove north, past the Senate Office Buildings.  Traffic was
heavy, but moving.  We were stopped at a light near the Hart Office
Building when we heard a "boom."  Pedestrians immediately started 
looking up toward the Capitol.  Our first words were, "Shit, 
they hit the Capitol."We couldn't see the dome because of 
buildings in the way and I started to get out of the car to try
and see what happened.   My friend yelled at me to get back in and we 
drove off.  I was so wrapped up in what was going on, I almost
didn't notice that she was crying.  For a period, I was afraid that she
wouldn't be able to drive, but she held it together.

The drive thinned out after we got off the hill.  At this point, we
still didn't know what the noise was, so when we got to North Capitol 
Street, I looked back to see if the dome of the Capitol was still there.
It was, and we found out later that the noise was a jet flying
overhead.  The rest of the drive was relatively uneventful.  Traffic was 
about the same as a usual evening commute and we made it home in 40 minutes.
Coworkers who were going to Virginia were not so lucky and were 
stuck for hours because 395 goes by the Pentagon.  

Two thoughts kept occuring to me.  1. Since we didn't yet know
that the state department car bomb rumor was false, I was nervous
about the parked cars we were passing on the road.  2. It was
strange how so many of the people we passed at stores, gas
stations and other businesses seemed to be going on with their 
lives as if nothing happened.  I wanted to yell, "Don't you see
what's happeining?"

When we got to my apartment building at around 10:45, we 
went upstairs to my girlfriend's apartmen - I don't have a land line, and my cell phone
was not working.  We called our parents to let them know we were
safe.  My girlfriend was still in the city.  I was not happy about 
that and told her that if she didn't get out soon, I was coming in 
to get her.  There were many calls trying to reach her father who was
understandibly upset.  It was difficult to get though as he worked on 
Long Island and all NY phones were jammed.  I remember speaking 
to my mother several times, at one point suggesting that she and 
my father might want to pack up and head to my uncle's house
in Maine, my father's plan during the Cold War if missiles were
launched.

My girlfriend got home about an hour and a half later and we spent
the rest of the day fixated on the TV.  At one point, we tried
to give blood, only to be turned away, because the center wasn't set
up for a drive.  

That night, I needed to get out and went to the gym.  At one
point, the President addressed the nation and I remember a good 
number of people going over to watch.  Some people kept working out.  </text>
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              <text>I was sleeping soundly, oblivious to the world when I heard the startling ring of the telephone. I had a fever and hadn't been feeling well, so I had taken the day off from school. I figured I wasn't going to miss anything, and from what I had collected the previous day, my classes would be quite uneventful. I was none to pleased to be rudely awakened from my slumber. I remember cursing out the phone as I picked up the receiver, and grumbling out a "h'lo?"

It was the voice of my sister, but it had a wavering and shaky tone that concerned me. 

"Are you alright?" I quickly replied. I thought she might have been in an accident or something, since she normally would be at classes that day. I remember what she said next quite clearly.

"I think we're under attack. Terrorists have attacked New York and Washington, turn on the news!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but the rest of the conversation was brief. She just wanted to call to let my family know not to worry about her, and that Philadelphia hadn't been targeted. I ran into my room and turned on the radio. Every station was saying the same thing. I heard a brief conference from our President before I ran to turn on the T.V. It felt so strange watching the billowing smoke from a WTC. I couldn't take my eyes off the TV. I wondered what my classmates were doing a few miles away at school. I felt so alone. Nothing I saw seemed real???but it was real, and now I'm tired of it. The media has beaten the subject to death. Today as a school-wide event I was forced to watch CNN's coverage of September 11th - again. Over the past week the only thing I've seen all over the TV Guide is September 11th coverage. I do recall children experts claiming that we should be cautious about how much our youth is viewing regarding the tragedy. How can this be achieved when the horrors are aired twenty four seven all over the network? When is enough, enough? I feel for the victims of the families. I feel for the people of New York. But everyone needs to find closure and move on with their lives, never forgetting the mistakes we made and with the resolve to never let something of this magnitude happen again.
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              <text>  I was sitting at a desk in a high school classroom when I heard about September 11th.  We started the school day on September 11th just as we started the school day on September 10th. We went to first period and worked until the morning announcements came on.  We were told a commerical airliner had hit the World Trade Center. We thought of it as no more of an accident and were anxious to hear the bell ring to release us to break. As we exited into the hall, several students joked about the plane crash. We had morning break and chatted as usual. We sighed as we heard the bell signaling us to go to class. We went to our seats as if we were trained animals. I sat in listening to my teacher's sophomore English lecture.  We heard a knock on the door. A biology teacher stuck her head in and ask to speak to our English teacher. Our teacher re-entered our classroom, she said, "I have just been informed that the Pentagon is on fire."
  She hurriedly moved to the televison and turned it on. We sat in awe as we saw the twin towers fall and the Pentagon go up in smoke. A usually chatting class fell silent. We sat back in our chairs as we tried to take in what was happening to our country. We looked to one another in astonishment.  We realized that this was no joke this was a serious terror attack.  We all sat in quiet wondering why. Our teacher related our events to "All Quiet on the Western Front" our recent novel we were studying. We wondered if our future would hold bomb shelters, drafts, and another world war. Most of all, we wondered what September 12 would hold in store for us.  </text>
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              <text>An update to what I wrote about this day 5 years ago.

My emotions are still so raw on this day...I find myself easily coming to tears and angry at such things as CNN playing real time coverage of the horror that happened that day.

This is the first day I have to try to be "normal" since I worked the mental health response and was doing work helping others on the first two anniversaries, the past two I was home and able to commemorate and memorialize in my own way.

Today I am at work and school and it's hard, very hard.  

I want to process it all and help others and remember....

FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS--WE WILL NEVER FORGET!</text>
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              <text>SEPTEMBER 11TH

8:46 Herb calls --
A plane crashed
Into the World Trade Center.

I turn on tv --
flames, smoke, a black hole
Through the heart of New York City.

9:02 a second plane,
two craters, smoke surges,
frenzied flames lash the sky.

My ears shut. I don't want to linger
More truncated than I am.
Fear won't scorch me.
Eyes up, I march to the bank notary,
wanting to ask each person I pass --
Do you know?

Inside, whispers of horror. 
I, who don't know how to cry, tears drop.
Someone proclaims -- It's the fault
of the liberals. 

Three blocks to Voice Stream --
My new, expensive phone, a weak signal
since day one. The manager unlocks the glass door, 
explains, We are closing due to today's events. 
Other stores closing, closed, closed.

Fifteen minutes have drooped our shoulders,
Tear-streaked faces, hushed voices. 
We walk weighted by shock, loss.
Communal sorrow - echoes of Kennedy, King.
A pyre of thousands.

I open my front door, run to the blaring pone.
My son - Do you know, terrorists?

No; oh yes,
the tv said Terrorists. 

Now only channel 25. Stuttering
		Replays forward/back - 
planes, smoke, 
flames, 	people fleeing,
Osama bin Laden,
		Afghanistan.  War. 

Watching, 
nailed to the couch and phone, 
to hear family and friends.
my son, sick, at home, his wife called - 
Their office - like an earthquake;
all in the building ran to the cellar.
Management won't let them out.

I wish the attackers instant death
until sanity softens rage.

Next day I hunt in my closets
for our 48-star flag washed last night.
Wooden flagpole in my hand, where is
our folded red, white and blue
shelved since Vietnam?

I need to drape it form our 2nd floor window
to wave
	America
This country, Ellis Island, my family,
when others slammed their doors shut.

I search between bulky sweaters, paper goods, a faded shirt, tax records. 
Oh, the red bled into the yellowed white.
I tossed it out.

I buy a rhinestone pin -
our flag made of stardust,
and tape a paper flag to my front door,
my car window, on top of a gift box.
I see stripes and stars in every size:
on entrance and lobby doors, on men's lapels,
in shop windows, next to Korean, Chinese, Arabic alphabets.

The red and white bars - steel beams,
the stars - rivets, 
our World Trade Center. 


This poem was read at the National Poetry Month @ The Writer's Voice of the West Side Y: After 9/11, Curated by Jane Herschlag. April 10th, Writer's Voice, 5 West 63rd, New York, NY
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              <text>The Day That Changed My Life

September 11, 2001 was the most tragic day of my life.  It has impacted my family, friends, and generation.  Since 9/11, my respect for America and the life I have, has changed immensely, with many other people.

When the first attack happened, I was at school, and I remember an announcement came on saying there had been an attack.  My teacher turned on the T.V. and there I saw it- a plane flying directly into one of the Twin Towers.  It made me sick to think there were thousands of innocent people in there not knowing where to go and if they?d make it out alive.  My teacher let everyone call home, and when it was my turn, my Mom picked up the phone.  She started crying and I wanted to cry too.  She and my Dad were impacted so much by Sept. 11 because my Dad?s job is being a pilot.  He had just retired from the United States Navy.  Because of his career, my entire family always had a deep respect for America, but now it is even deeper.    


My friends have also changed.  Some of them ?get? how horrible it was, but others don?t care as much as they should.  We?ve all become more patriotic and respectful to our country.  Also, we?re more careful with what we say.  Today, September 11, 2002, our school, to show our spirit, wore red, white, and blue.  It was amazing to see how many of us showed our pride by wearing it.  Also, our Student Council planted New York?s state tree in our front schoolyard.  Around it is sandstone, from Shanksville, Pennsylvania, where one of the planes crashed, and they?re in the shape of the Pentagon.  It shows how much we?ve matured and developed over the past year.

My generation, I think, has been affected the most.  We all saw what happened and we will never forget the plane crashing in Shanksville.  We will never forget the Pentagon burning.  We will never forget when the other plane flew straight into one of the towers. And we certainly won?t forget the feeling and sight of World Trade Center collapsing to the streets of New York City.

As you can see, we?ve all been affected as a country and will always stick together as ONE!  As the one-year anniversary comes and goes, the people who suffered from September 11, 2001, will always be in our hearts.

By:
Kim Begley








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              <text>on september 11th iwas at home ,it was about 7:40 am our time and i was putting my son on the bus for school. i came back in the house currled up on my couch still half asleep . i turned on my tv and flipped through the channels when i found  msnbc there in front of me were pictures of the world trade center on fire . the news anchor had said a plane had hit the tower. i woke my husband and told him to come watch the news . as we sat on the couch with are newborn baby we saw people jumping from the tower and the fire blazing out of control then it happend the second plane hit the tower we just looked at each other in horror. my husband said we are under attack he said go get our son out of school this is gonna get ugly so i rushed to the school and got our son . when igot back to the house my husband was screaming no this cant be happening. that is when i heard that the heart of our nations security had been hit. if they could hit the pentagon  then they could get us all. then reports came in that there were more planes . we kept our eyes glued to the tv as we watched again in horror the towers collapsing  my heart sank and i cryed. i am sitting here looking at my children and wondering are we going to see tomarrow. as the hours passed my husband said we needed to go to the store and get food and gas just in case. this is where we seen our own terrorist in our town the price of gas went from 1.45$ a gallon to 5.50$ in one minute. going to the grocery store was like something out of a horror movie .THE place was packed full but you could of heard a pin drop the radio was on live news coverage and everyone was listening to it as people stocked up on supplies. the rest of the night was  erie  you could look down the street at midnight that night and every house was lit up . i will never forget the day the world stopped and the feelings we felt on that infamous day in september
we will always remember.    misty and jason shelsky  </text>
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              <text>I had just got my oldest daughter off to school, and was sitting watching Channel 2, the Today show. Katie came across the tv and said the first plane had hit and when they went to the site live the second plane hit. It was in the moments that all I could hear was screams in my head. I broke down and wept, then had to explain to my 5 year old what had happened. My heart goes out to all of those who lost thier lives as well as thier family and friends. As one country music singer from England said, on that day all of America became New Yorkers and all the world became Americans. While the screams have easied the memory is there and my heart is broken and sad. I do not know if anything will ever erase that.</text>
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              <text>    I woke up to one of the most beautiful days i had seen in the month of September.I live with my widow daughter and her six children,so as usual,after she left to drive the four youngest one to school..i went up to my tiny room,coffee mug in hand.                                                      ..    My room has one window only and it faces Manhattan.After each school morning rush,it was my custom to sit on my stool in front of my computer,sip my coffe and look out towards the city.On a clear day,i could see forever...the Twin Towers,a bridge,the Empire State Building,etc..My eyes were focused towards my right,looking at the E.S.B...when the phone rang and my daughters voice,loud and agitated,came through,,screaming.."Are you in your room looking out?I said yes"Why"She responded."look towards the Towers!!"Something happened because as i was driving back on Metropolitan ave.,i saw a big fire on one of the Towers!"                                                          I said..ok...bye.I turned to look at the Towers and saw the fire on the Tower on my right.I was calm,i thought it was just a fire and the fire dept. would be there already handling it.I then saw a jet plane,flying a bit too low and suddenly..it went right into the next Tower.It exploded,kind of...so did my emotions..i could not beleive it.I turned on the tv and there it was..all over the news..no one knew yet what had happened.                                                   .     I had always felt blessed,to have this little room with the view of the city,that even at a distance,i couls see so much!Sitting here each morning,was a way for me to unwind,to relax and meditate and at times..have a pity party when i felt low.Wich was once in while.I lost my 32 year old son in 1994,to AIDS,lost a couple of close friends to cancer and in the year 2000,lost my only brother.Staring at the city reminded me of my son and my brother because they just loved Manhattan,had worked and lived there ,years ago.The sun always goes down in that direction and i have seen the most beautiful sunsets from here.                  .                                    .     Because i like to draw and paint,it never ceases to amaze me.."What an artist is our creator to create such gorgeous colors on the horizon!My thinking has changed since that tuesday morning.I have cried for weeks,in my solitude...for the enormity of it all,for the fear that those people felt as they knew that they were going to die!This is one thing that never leaves my mind.I have flown,many times and i have had fearsome experiences during a bad weather flight...so i know what it is tofeel hopelessly fearful when you are all the way up there on a plane.As a mother and grandmother,i know how we do our best to protect our children,but to know that in a case like that,there is nothing one can do..this is the most horrible feeling i can think of!                                     .                         I have prayed each day for the families of those victims.I have prayed for myself so i can accept that this tragedy happened and there is nothing i can do about it.Because it bothers me,to see people at times,going on with their lifes,without a "new" attitude.I never stop reminding my grandchildren about how these people lost their lifes.There is a lot of talk about getting emotional support for the children,because they might be suffering from emotional distress after this tragedy.Yes..i agree that a lot of kids feel very bad about what happened on 911.But,because they are children ,they will forget and kep busy with whatever.I beleive that us,the adults,have a tougher time dealing with these emotions of sadness,anger,frustrtion,etc.It should be easier for us,after all,we are adults.                                 .                   .     Well ,i was a child,living on a beautiful island,when the Nazis killed millions of jews.I came to this country when i was 12,started school and it was then,that i learned about those "horrific" crimes agaisnt the jews.Iam now 64 years old and you know what?I feel for those people like if i was there myself!I have read all i could about that tragedy and i will never ,ever forget what the Jewish people went through.We are supposed to be created equal.But we do not think and feel"equal.I pray that this Nation ,never ,ever forgets these tragedies.I don"t want my grankids to forget.If they get teary eyes as i remind them?Well..that is ok,because 911 is something to get teary eye about,something to keep in your heart and memory.Feeling sad can help some of these hard-headed kiss to stop thinking that life is ..toys,good times and to stop taking life and safety for granted.To be cautious,alert..          .                                 .    I hardly ever look across my window towards the city.Sometimes i glance just to make sure the E.S.B. is still there.To me,this view is a constant,solenm,silent reminder of those lost lifes.And my heart feels so saddened by it..as i think of the families of those victims...</text>
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