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              <text>I am director of publications for the University Continuing Education Association located at One Dupont Circle in Washington.  I'm writing this  email to share stories from around the country that I collected by sending out an email to UCEA members (colleges and universities across the country) requesting what their college campuses were doing in response to the tragedy.  Their stories are compelling and inspirational and I believe of historical value. We posted them on our website and published some in our newsletter.  To read them see: http://www.ucea.edu/septemberreport.htm

My personal story, much less compelling, but probably more typical of many Washington, DC residents that terrible day, follows.
When I arrived at work at little after 9am, I had a conversation with a friend in the parking garage about the plane burining in Tower 1 that we'd heard about on the radio.  I said, "I hoped it only affected those in the floors above the crash --it sounded like it hit pretty high up." "Are you kidding?" she said, "That whole building is GONE. There's no way they can put a fire out like that." I was startled by her certainty and said, "Do you really think so? Like The Towering Inferno?" I went upstairs. I found my coworkers clustered around a smalltv and learned that the second tower had been hit. I saw flames/smoke coming out of the White House's Old Executive Office Building. I don't know where the media got those pictures, because later we were told it was "false reports" of fire in the white house, but I talked to others who said they also saw the smoke and flames on television and wondered how they could've shown such pictures if it was false.  After the I saw the plane burning in the Pentagon on tv, I told my husband and my father who were both calling me at the same time, that I was getting our kids from their daycare at 20th &amp; M, "just a few blocks from the White House," I kept thinking. I told their daycare teachers about the Pentagon attack, and they started calling other parents to pick up their kids.  I nervously drove my kids home while listening to--what turned out to be a false--radio news report of a  bomb going off at the state department and the news that another plane had crashed in PA. (I was half a block from the State Department just as the radio informed me that a bomb had gone off there and could see blue police lights ahead. It was like something out of a movie. I did a u-turn in the middle of 23rd street to change my route and got into the bumper to bumper traffic in Georgetown. The weather was still beautiful and everyone had their car windows open. I made eye contact with other drivers--all of whom were being more polite than usual as I tried to cut in. Everyone was listening to news reports rather than music and everyoe had serious expressions on their faces rather than the usual irritation at the other drivers.  My children were oblivious-- my 3 year old was excited that we were going home less than an hour after being dropped off and that I was letting her eat potato chips so early in the morning. She talked about wanting to go to the pool.

Though it usually only takes me an hour to pick up the kids and get to our home near Tyson's Corner in Virginia, this day it took me two hours. When we pulled in, my husband ran out to greet us and burst into tears of relief that we were home safely (he never did make it to work at all that day).  My father (a retired Navy commander who used to work in the Pentagon) called us also in tears and came over, just so he wouldn't have to be alone on such a terrible day. We tried to get in touch with relatives in NY only to find that the lines were jammed.  When we finally did speak to them we found that THEY were more worried about US. 

The one positive thing that happened that day was that our neighborhood pulled together, sharing our stories and concerns. One neighbor who works at USA TODAY could see the Pentagon in flames from her office window.  Our "neighborhood watch" neighbor had a bbq that night in the cul-de-sac with home-made icecream "because none of us wanted to be alone." 

We all watched TV all day long and when I took the kids to the park I even brought my sony walkman so I could listen to the  news.  I kept hugging and kissing my kids. 


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              <text>   I was outside cutting grass when the attacks were happening. I came in to check my messages and there on the machine was one from my husband at Kings Bay, GA. He wanted to know what the TV was saying about the terrorist attacks. I thought, "What attacks"? I turned on the television and sat there with my mouth open, tears running down my face and I just prayed. I hurt soooooooooooooooooo badly for the people who died that day and for the loved ones left behind. I sat in front of the TV for days watching whatever I could about it. I didn't want to miss a thing. I didn't lose anyone in the attacks, although it felt like I lost thousands...my husband lost a cousin. He was Donald Green and he was on Flight 93 which was taken over by the passengers. It was a day that I will never forget. I will never forget the awful feeling I had when I turned on that TV. God Bless Us All!!!</text>
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              <text>I've been to NYC 3 times since I was 18 (now I'm 26), and love it there.  Everytime I see pictures of the WTC collapsing, I get chills running down my arms and shivers throughout my body.  My day started at 7 a.m.  At the time I was working 2nd shift, but had just happened to wake up at 7 a.m. and watch the news.  Nothing was going on...I listened to the weather report, sunny, highs in the 60s.  Nothing special, just like any other day.  I ended up falling asleep, with the t.v. on, and woke up to my clock/radio coming on just before 9:30 a.m., hearing a voice saying "both towers have now collapsed", and in a misty daze, I thought to myself, "what towers?"  I go to the living room to see nothing but coverage of the terrorist attacks that morning.  I couldn't believe in a matter of 2 hours the turmoil that had begun to unfold.  I thought to myself, "Oh my God!"  I quickly called my friend at work, and she already heard about it, and couldn't believe it.  I called my other friend where he was working, and he answered the phone, "I know."  I'm thinking to myself, "Are we at war?!"  It seems that it wasn't too long after that we were assuming Osama bin Laden was behind this.  The reason why I still get chills is because it was June of 2000 when my friend Jamie and I (the girl I first called on the morning of 9/11/01) flew out to New York for a long weekend.  We stayed with a friend of mine.  We toured the WTC and took many pictures of it.  We were in awe of the towers.  I distinctly remember the marble floors and escalators leading up from the ground floor.  I remember a security guard standing at a table or desk about 50 feet down from where we were standing in the lobby, just laughing and joking around with others in the lobby.  Now I wonder if he was working there on that day?  I guess one of the bigger shocks, if not the biggest, is how ABC news went into the second tower just moments before it had collapsed, only to show on television the dusty, dirty sight it was inside the second tower.  The scenes that they showed are very spooky for me, because I have pictures of exactly the same places where they were standing moments before the building had collapsed.  All I can say is, and I'm sure everyone else can relate, not "how could this have happened", but "Why this happened?"  Being there and having friends in New Jersey, I'm sure life there has changed even more than here.  We were in a state of shock for days here, then after slowly sinking in, we had that empty-feeling in our stomachs, sort of like knots tying up in our guts.  It was awful.  It was the worst feeling.  The days after were twice as hard as the day itself...not knowing if we would wake up the next morning in a safe place anymore.  I'm glad the U.S. is taking an agressive force in Afghanastan.  I just wish we could find Osama and just put him out of his misery.  This man should have been stopped years ago when he/his followers were linked to the bombing of the WTC.  Now they're gone, and a whole country is at shock.  We can NOT give up!!!  ...Jim...</text>
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At this point I had not seen the news, so i did not actualy see the destruction that went on, but when I got to school all of the TV's were on and when i finaly did see what happened for my own eyes, I was shocked and it reallly hit me deep down inside that this was the beginning of something terrible. Little did i know that life as we all knew it would never be the same again.</text>
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              <text>      On September 11,2001 I was in school at Immaculate Conception.  My scho is located in Bellevue, Ohio.  My class was in the middle of science, and my teacher turned on the t.v. abd said something very tragic had happened.  We all watched the second plane hit the World Trade Center.  It was a big shock to everyone.  Then we watched the re runs of the first plane hitting the first tower. It was very horrifying to watch.
       After watching news for the whole day I didn't know what to think.  I was scared tha we were goin to get bombed.  After awhile I got used to the idea, and wasn't as scared.  I realize that our country has bonded together and the security has been tightened.  I believe that if another attack comes we will be ready for it, and ready to fight back.</text>
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              <text>I work for Morgan Stanley and had started work at 8am that day. Everything was rolling along as usual when all of a sudden around 8:45 we started hearing a sound like someone was pelting the side of a house with snowballs. It was hitting along the windows and we saw thousands of pieces of paper flying by. At first we thought it was some kind of joke like someone had dumped confetti off the observation deck on the roof, but then we saw that a lot of this paper was on fire. Next thought was that a bomb had gone off either in the other building or in ours and all of us started heading for the stairwells. At 2 flights per floor we were looking at 136 flights of stairs covering about 800 feet, a lot when you want to be out of the building RIGHT NOW. I was surprised and happy to find no one panicking, everyone was filing down the stairs semi-calm. It took us about 15 minutes to get down to the 44th floor where the security desks and main elevators were. We had flat screen monitors on the walls in the lobby normally showing the financial news but right now they were all showing tower 1 next to us on fire. We were being told that possibly a small plane had hit tower 1 and that our tower was secure and that we were as safe here as on the ground. All I knew was that I was still 500 feet up and that was 500 feet too high. I think it was a group decision that we go for the stairs again. I know that some people stayed and that others went back up to their offices feeling the building was secure. My family is glad I didn't make that decision. We had only gone down a few flights of stairs when there was a load rumbling explosion and the whole stairwell shook violently, some people falling down, I was lucky to be holding on to the rails. The worst part was that the building started tipping sideways, swinging sideways, I was sure the other building fell into us and we were tipping over. I closed my eyes and waited for the floor to go out from under me and to die. The building stopped at an angle and moved back the other way, It rocked back and forth for a few more seconds then stopped. That was when people almost started to panic, we all yelled at each other to stay calm and started counting the floors out loud, 39,38,37. We continued down, I can't explain the relief we all felt getting to the ground. The police were there to guide us down into the underground mall. I was upset that they weren't letting us just go out the door on the ground level, but we didn't know that debris and bodies were raining down out there. We were escorted out through the basement and out onto the street from under building 5. My cell phone didn't work so I started looking for a shop that would let me use their phone. It was then that I looked up and saw both buildings on fire. At that time I couldn't understand how ours had come to be that way. All I knew was that the buildings were a quarter mile high so I needed to be a quarter mile away if it came down. I didn't know until I saw it on TV in one of the stores that a second plane had hit us and that it was a terrorist attack. There were groups of people, women screaming and crying "oh my god they're jumping" It took me a few minutes to believe my eyes that the debris I saw falling wasn't glass or concrete, they were people.
I eventually found a shop where I could make calls and assure my family that I was OK. I had been out of the building about 20 minutes when there was this load rumble and people were yelling that the building was falling. All of us in the street started running. I was glad I thought to get that far away because it gave me a good head start. I figured that the debris path was going to come straight up the streets so I zigzagged between a few buildings until I found the lobby of an apartment block and got in there. People were coming down from the apartments asking us if we needed any water or help. A group of us stayed in there until the dust cleared enough to breath and then I started to make my way far enough to where I might be able to catch a train. To make this long story short, I was able to get home around 5 o?clock that day.
I'm happy to see a web site like this that hopefully will keep future generations from ever forgetting what happened here. Thanks for letting me tell my story, it's good therapy :)





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              <text>Sept.11 
This is a day that will be etched in our memories forever, much like the attack on Pearl Harbor and the assasination of Kennedy. We have always read about these incidents, but we have never fully grasped the concept of living through one of these tragedies. Now as we find ourselves in this place, we must give thanks that we have been spared from this tragedy. When I found out about the attacks I was horrified, I sat in my classroom and watched the buildings fall. I told myself that I have to remember this moment, because I will one day be telling this story to my children. When I heard that a plane had hit the Pentagon I burst out crying because my brother, Jack, who was in the army was stationed in WAshington D.C. The next 24 hrs. were torture for my family, we didn't know where Jack was and if he was safe. During that time I felt the emotions that the people who lost their loved ones felt. Luckily my brother was not in the Pentagon during the attack, but because of this attack he will soon be sent to the Middle East, and I fear for him greatly. I leave with the words that we have continually heard since the attack but I feel the strength behind them...."God Bless America"</text>
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              <text>At the time, I only worked Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays.   After watching Monday night football, I preferred to sleep in on Tuesdays.   I was sound asleep when the phone rang at 9:19 a.m. central time.   I answered, figuring it might be the office calling.   My friends and family knew better than to call me before noon.   It was my mother.  She wanted to know if I knew what was going on there.   There, I took to mean California, where she lives.   I said no.   She then responded incoherently.   All I heard were the words "tearing up the East Coast."   It still being hurricane season, I figured one had come out of nowhere and was destroying the East Coast.   I told Mom to slow down, I couldn't understand her.   She again asked me if I knew what was going on, since I always watched the news.  I said, I had been asleep until she called so had no clue what was going on.   She became incoherent again.   I told her to hang on, I would go turn on the tv.   I did.   The South tower had already come down and I saw the fire engulfing the north tower.   My first though "Oh my God, it's a Tom Clancy novel."   I got on the phone with my mother in tears.   Right about then the North tower came down.   I babbled the news incoherently to my mother.   Now, she was telling me to slow down.   I said I would call her back.   I hung up and called the office to make sure they knew.   One of the attorneys I worked with was from New York City and still had family and friends there.  

I then called my mother back, while getting online.   We talked a bit a more.   Then I called the rest of my family, including my grandmother in Florida.   Nobody was near ground zero or the Pentagon, but still I felt the need to check in.   I also cancelled my plans to go the State Bar archives that day.   I was later informed the building was evacuated anyway, since it is near the State Capitol here in Austin.   

While I was checking in and checking things out online, I heard about the call to ground all planes.   But one was missing.   One was down in Pennsylvania and no one knew at this time whether it was the missing plane or if there was another flying bomb out there.   There were updates ont he whereabouts of the President.   Who knew we had an Air Force base in Barksdale, Louisiana?   As I told my mother, I want him [the President] tucked somewhere safe like Cheyenne Mountain.   Too bad we closed that base.   I know the politicaians wanted him back in Washington, but safety was more important than looks to me at this point.   He could lead just as well from South Dakota as from the White House.   

The comparisons to Pearl Harbor were immediate for me.    I had seen the movei "Pearl Harbor" the previous May and loved it.   I also wondered how the people reacted to the horror and the everyday aftermath.   Now I know.   I would have preferred to learn about it from the historical record.

Then I got what had to be the most personally scary news.   The Girl Scout network had swung into action with offers going to airports to get any stranded Scouts or their families.   I posted on the Girl Scout list, I was willing to go the Austin airport to get anyone stranded.   A friend saw my post and sent me a reminder that a mutual friend worked in the Pentagon and no one had heard from her.   We were frantic.   Thankfully, she had been travelling that week and was in the Netherlands when the plane struck.   Okay, she was stuck in Europe, but she was alive.   

I was able to give blood that day by getting to the blood center early.   At the time, we thought there would be thousands of injured and blood would be desperately needed. 

All in all, it was a surreal day.   I was actually glad to go back to work on Thursday to get away from the tv.   I suffered from panic attacks for a couple weeks afterwards, but then I decided to not give in to the fear.   I wanted my life back and those terrorists would not take it away from me.   Also, believe it or not, reading about how Londoners survived the Blitz during World War II helped.   These people endured bombings for weeks at a time, not just one day.   Thousands of men, women and children were killed.   If they could survive and go on to win the war, so could America survive September 11, 2001.



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              <text>That morning as I was working on some reports I received a call from my mother.  She asked me if I was listening to the news on the radio.  I had my radio off at the time so I asked her what was going on...she said something just hit the WTC. I thought she might be mistaken, but I turned on my radio.  This was just as the first plane hit.  I told my co-worker what just happened and we pulled out our TV from the storage area.  We turned it on and began to view the most horrific event we had ever witnessed.  We sent an email to all the employees in the company and they rushed to every conference room and training room where TVs were available.

I work for a General Aviation company so it was a major impact to our business.  Our executives where immediately on the phone with each of our bases throughout the country.  Meanwhile we sat in our office staring at the TV as if it was some Hollywood movie.  Some cried, some got mad, some could not watch, some just stared in complete silence.  When the second plane hit, the posibility of an "accident" scenario was destroyed.  We stared in horror! We could say nothing, but why is this happening?  Are we under attack?

The media began to report that all planes were grounded. I stared out my window on the 14th floor and searched the sky for planes.  Then the pentagon was hit.  Another plane down. Finally the first tower colapsed!  All I could do was cry.  I just kept saying, "they're still in there, they're still in there! My God all those people! They couldn't get out!"

Everyone was in such a state that we were sent home at around noon.  I spent the rest of the day calling my family in Puerto Rico and trying to reach my relatives in NYC.  It would be 3 weeks before we could get through to our relatives in NYC.  Thankfully they were OK.  They had seen the whole event from the window of their apartment.

For the first few weeks I had recurring nightmares of walking through the ruins and seeing people hurt and screaming for help, the smoke so thick that I could barely see.  I would wake up shacking and crying unable to fall asleep again for the rest of the night.  

Our business was paralysed for a month.  We still haven't gotten to our feet entirely.  I have flown since then 3 times.  I must admit I didn't feel afraid.  Somehow through this experience I was able to get back in touch with my spirituality and have gain a sort of calm.  I know that no matter what happens we will be OK.

I pray that we will never have to go through anything so tragic ever again and hope that tomorrow the leaders of all countries and rebel groups will gain the compasion and understanding to see that killing is not the answer to any question or conflict.</text>
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              <text>September 11th began as a very happy day for me. Just two months earlier, I had resigned from a hectic job as an associate at a large law firm and was still revelling in the wonderful feeling of having some down time. I got up and made breakfast for my husband and sister, and saw them off to work at their respective offices in downtown Washington, D.C.
 
I spent the morning puttering around the house, and still had not gotten dressed for the morning by 8:30 a.m. when I wandered into our bathroom to do a little tidying up and organizing. I flipped on the radio to the country music station where the Lee Greenwood song about "Proud to be an American" was playing. I thought twice for a second, because the radio rarely plays that song unless it's the Fourth of July or something tragic has happened. I continued tidying, singing along with Greenwood as he belted out "And I'm proud to be an American, for at least I know I'm free, and I won't forget the men who died, and gave that right to me, and I'd gladly stand up, next to them, and defend that right today, . . . God bless the U.S.A." And as the song closed the D.J. came on and reported that a plane had apparently crashed into the side of the World Trade Center. My heart stopped and still holding the glass I had in my hand, I froze and just stared at the clock radio. And then, almost without a human concious thought, I knelt down on the tile floor to pray. Despite not being a terribly religious person, I prayed and prayed for everyone in that airplane. I prayed for their families. At that point, I had no idea that our nation would need the prayers of the world for that which we were to endure.
 
I went straight to the living room to turn on the television. Every station was covering the World Trade Center. There it was, on fire. Watching it there on television was truly surreal. Saddened and dismayed, I called my husband to let him know what was going on. He had already read the news on the Internet but had not yet seen television coverage. As we hung up, I flipped the channel to the local television station which was covering the WTC. Suddenly, the local station flipped to its television traffic camera, which was located on the highway that runs along by the Pentagon. A news reporter came on "live" and was frantically reporting in a completely unrehearsed story that something had just exploded or a bomb had gone off or a plane had hit the Pentagon. The traffic camera operators had seen it happen. 
 
I remember trying to add up all the events in my head, clicking through them at light speed. Watch t.v. Dial cell phone to husband. Cell lines busy. Run for cordless phone on land line. Dial cordless and cell phone simultaneously. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, I got Ryan on the phone. I was nearly histarical, begging him to get out of his office building (on K street, next to the IMF and World Bank buildings). I have never, in all my 28 years (at that time), felt such panic for my family. Ryan was calm and thinking through everything. Was it safer to stay put or leave? Some of his colleagues had seen the plane crash into the Pentagon from his office building. I could see the office scene playing out in my head: People milling around. Talking. Coffee. I can't believe it. As if in slow motion. But in my mind I was in hyper-gear, crying and begging him to get out of the building because there could be more to come. At that point, my mother-in-law clicked in on the call waiting and said "are you guys ok" and I replied through tears "I've got him on the other line. He can see the smoke coming out from his office!" She replied "oh my God" and hung up the phone before I could say anything else. I found out later that she did not know at that time about the Pentagon, and therefore assumed that Ryan was in New York and possibly in the WTC because he is often there for long periods of time closing business deals. She spent the next long minutes praying the prayer that only a parent can pray. 
 
I clicked back to Ryan and he assured me he was making plans to exit the building, but he wanted to be sure he would be safer outside than inside. He had his bike at the office, as he often commutes to work on his bike, and he would just ride home. With that settled, we turned immediately to my sister --- all this time, I had been speed dialing her cell phone in desperation. Her office was behind the Ronald Reagan building in downtown D.C. Ryan and I decided that he would come home, and as he did I would work on contacting Viv (my sister), and when were all safely home we'd get in our truck and high tail it to the mountains. I was to stock the car with all our camping gear, pack a cooler, and fill both cars with gasoline.
 
Finally, after what seemed a lifetime, I got through to my sister. She was fine, hearing her voice was like a sweet melody in a dream. Looking back on it, and as I watched person after person report what it was like to have had contact or not have had contact with their loved ones, I cried inside for them, because here we were in Washington, near danger but not in any immediate danger as it turned out . . . and yet that sweet melody of her voice. Despite her being four years my senior, my sister was hesitant on the phone --- saying "well, I'm not sure what they want us to do or whether they are going to close the office." I exploded into my lawyerly demonstrative voice, saying "get yourself out of there and home now, please, I'm begging you." My urgency seemed to affect her, and she began making her way home then.  
 
Getting everyone reassembled took time. My sister began walking from her office, stopping by my husband's office to retrieve his running shoes as they wear the same size. She walked and walked, calling us from her cell phone every so often to report her progress. Meanwhile, Ryan cycled home and I frantically threw camping gear into the Land Cruiser. I remember seeing our neighbor, an older woman who is now a grandmother. We just held each other and wept in the parking lot of our condominium. She was leaving to go to her daughter's house. I remember her saying she could not be alone that day. My self-defense mode was so high that day. I was convinced all the sky was falling. I urged her to be careful in making her way to her daughter's home. 
 
I talked to the garbage collector man that morning too. We had never spoken before. But that morning we had a common bond. I remember him saying "there's bombs going off everywhere." Well, luckily that was not quite the case, but his instincts were right. We told each other to be careful and shook hands. 
 
Ryan got home a few minutes later and in his adreline rush said "are we ready to go?" I said "not without my sister" and he immediately replied "of course, let's go get her" and we did just that. We sped down 66 as far as we could get to the D.C.-Virginia border, where police had blocked the roads. Streams of people were walking home. People in suits and ties, just walking along, person after person. Finally we saw Viv and I ran to her and just hugged her. 
 
We made our way back home. How strange it was for us all to be home on a work day. The sun was bright and we were all just stunned and thankful to be at home. We discussed whether to actually go to the mountains to hide out. In the end, we decided we were probably safer just staying put. I  remember Ryan saying "I think they're done for today." I still think about his comment now, a year later, on so many levels. His comment was correct --- they were done terrorizing the nation for the day. But even in the immediacy of the moment, my husband was already thinking to the future . . . that there could or would be days other than today when we'd be at risk. His comment for me was a defining moment, a moment that marked the end of my fight or flight response of the events of the morning, and the beginning of this new and never ending chapter of acknowledging our vulnerability as a nation. 
 
We spent the rest of the morning watching the news accounts of the towers falling. It was just so unbelievable. We called our family members. My mom was listening to accounts on the radio, but couldn't yet bring herself to turn on the television. I cried to my dad and we talked and talked. He has such wisdom. He was already talking about the Blitz bombings in London that he'd lived through, and how we would make it through this as a nation. We got a hold of Ryan's parents and reassured them we were all fine. As the day wore on, other friends called. Some of them ones we don't hear from very often. Just wanting to verify we were ok. Did you know anyone affected? I felt so funny answering that. We are all affected! And I felt thankful and yet guilty when I answered "no, we don't know of any friend or family member injured or missing or dead." 
 
Our little house reacted differently to the events of the day, yet we were all dealing with the tragedy in our own way. My husband eventually turned to his work, setting up his laptop at the dining room table. My sister went to play a game of tennis with her boyfriend. At the time, I was furious with them both for doing anything other than mourning and trying to make sense of the day. But that was my way of dealing with it, that day, in full force, and I later realized that everyone deals with tragedy differently --- that they too were profoundly saddened and moved but they were recharging their emotional batteries so they could comfort me --- as I would later do for them. I realized how much my husband processes emotional things even while he is working.  A true multi-tasker. My sister can only take so much of these major issues at one time, but she is such a strong soldier for the "duration" of emotional pains and has always taken care of me without a thought for herself.
 
The day faded into night, nothing but a fog. We had the television on up in Viv's room, the news showing people with photos of family members begging for any news. One woman was our age and had a wedding photo of her husband. I broke down and wept again for her. Eventually, my sister turned off the t.v. and said we had to collect ourselves and go get some dinner. We all set out in the car, and for the first time in all our time living in the D.C. area, the streets were empty. Tysons mall was closed, lights were off, there was no traffic anywhere. Tysons and Falls Church were like a ghost town. We finally ended up at "Chicken Out" and I ate for the first time since that morning. The food just all sort of mushed around in my mouth. I can't really remember what I ate, but it was smooth like mashed potatoes or soup. I couldn't take anything beyond that. 
 
We went home again and got ready for bed. My husband and I just held each other, and I lit a candle. Sort of a personal vigal of sorts. I don't remember falling asleep. My body just finally shut itself down.
 
The next day I woke up feeling numb and disoriented. For a split second I asked myself whether it had really happened? And before my rational brain could say yes, my stomach answered with that same knot from the day before. That was the only answer I needed. It was real, and would stay real. We donated money to the United Way funds, splitting our donation between New York and D.C. We wanted to give blood, but soon learned so sadly that there was apparently not nearly the need for it that had been anticipated. Could we pack anything up for the relief workers? Turns out dealing with all the donations was becoming a logistical nightmare. I wrung my hands at the inability to DO something, ANYTHING. We set about finding flags for our cars. We made little red, white and blue ribbon pins for our lapels. At least that was something. Every bridge in D.C. and Virginia around where we live had flags and posters up. Some of the tiny silver lining in all of this was beginning to show through.
 
The next few months would be an education for us, and for a lot of the country I suppose. Suddenly the world felt smaller. The newspaper articles about things in foreign lands mattered a lot more. I knew I needed to educate myself much more than I had in the past about muslims and Islam, the Middle East, and terrorism in general. I spent a lot of time reading anything I could get my hands on about terrorism. I began to have nightmares about bioterrorism. I emailed the CDC and Virginia health care workers about getting vaccinated against small pox and anthrax. The return emails alone were enough to convince me that my family and I, as members of the general public, were sitting ducks. Should we sell our house, located just outside D.C.? Should we go ahead with our plans to move abroad for two years for Ryan's work? Should we bring a baby into this world? I wanted answers to all of these questions, but they wouldn't come right away. And questions like those were second to the suffering and tragedy of all of the victims. There were days I felt angry, days I felt sad, days I felt vulnerable, days that I wept for our country. I tried, and actually today -- a year later, still do, pray for individuals when I hear their stories. Each could have been me or my family --- but the more important thing is that it was someone, and everyone in this world is important and so undeserving of such a cowardly, stupid, despicable human act. </text>
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              <text>A Volunteer's Story

I arrived in New York Friday night, three days after it experienced the most horrific act of terror in the history of mankind. I visited the World Trade Center two years ago and the scale of what happened on September 11 still refused to register in my mind.

I was trying to catch the news after my 10-hour drive from Detroit, while being stuck in a tremendous traffic jam on the George Washington Bridge, which connects New Jersey and Manhattan. But the city had already recovered from the initial shock and all the radio stations were back to music.

However, the feeling was not peaceful at all. The city was swarming with military and police, and the emergency could be felt everywhere. And while we were crawling across the bridge, all the drivers were looking to their right, where several miles away from us, among the contours of the skyscrapers, a giant cloud of smoke, lit with spotlight beams, was still rising to the sky.

From Brighton Beach in Brooklyn, where I stayed at my friend's place, I was taking the subway to get to Ground Zero, the place of the rescue work. Lower Manhattan was closed and the train passed it without stops. Journalists and reporters formed a many-hour line to the central Police Department for the press passes. Even with these, the media was not allowed closer than several hundred yards to the place of the tragedy.

The phone lines had been damaged, and the technicians from Verizon were installing mobile phone booths, but they hardly worked.

It seemed that soldiers and police didn't have strict instructions on whom to allow at the site. While some let me go through without asking questions, others would look at my volunteer tag and turn me away.

Together with other volunteers we were delivering water and ice to Ground Zero from Seamen's Church Institute, which became one of the suppliers of food, equipment and medical aid to the rescue workers.

On the space between Vesey, Church and Liberty streets, we were assembling the supplied respirators, while doctors from the American Red Cross were demonstrating their proper usage. A day before that, on my way to New York, in a little town of DuBois, Pennsylvania, I bought rubber boots, a fluorescent jacket, work gloves, and protective goggles. I could have as well not bought it. Donations from the whole country, distributed by the Red Cross and the Salvation Army, provided rescue workers, police, firemen and volunteers with everything needed, from hot meals to underwear, to shovels and flashlights.

I met people. Tshimsus Jesus, a Congo student from a New York college, worked as a volunteer on the Ground Zero starting the day after the disaster. Olya, a girl originally from Ukraine, worked a twelve-hour night shift serving food and removing dirty dishes in the mobile kitchen. Kenny was the operator of a huge, 200-ton crane that stretched 300 feet over the ruins.

The work was progressing slowly, Kenny said. All the actions were coordinated between the fire department, police, FBI and construction team.

The first tower fell through two stories of the mall and three floors of the parking lot located underneath. Its top, having slid to the side, smashed through the eight floors of U.S. Customs building, and damaged WTC building #7, the 47-story skyscraper at the intersection of Vesey street and West Broadway, which fell Tuesday night. 
Welders cut steel beams apart in order to fit in the dump trucks. Out of millions of tons of rubble, only 40 thousand had been removed.

Even after several days of the catastrophe, the ruins were still burning. The smoke could be seen many miles away. Through this smoke you sometimes couldn't see the New York Telephony building, from which day and night the fire pumps were pouring water to extinguish the internal inferno. In the darkness, you could see the flames shimmering in the ruins. It would be a long time before this gigantic, devilish cake cools down.

The shifts of rescue workers and firemen were resting on the plaza in front of building number five. On the other side, The Millennium Hilton hotel was gaping with its torn facade letters and broken windows, while peaceful white curtains blew in the breeze.

From time to time a group of firemen would pass, through the lines of troops, toward the remnants of the second tower. I also passed the lines, giving out respirators, looking for those who didn't have them. I rose up the stairs, passed by what used to be a granite sculpture at the plaza entrance and approached the edge of the pit, where the firemen and police stood.

It was the most monstrous and surreal view I will ever see. 
There was a gigantic foundation pit, filled to the brim with mutilated metal. There was no concrete. The gigantic cloud filling Manhattan was from the buildings' concrete floors, pulverized into dust, which settled as a thick gray layer on the roads, sidewalks and buildings for many blocks away.

Excavators and bulldozers were removing rubble from near the hills of chaos. Orange tapes, stretched across to keep people away from the carcinogenic asbestos dust, separated the onlookers.

Across the street, in a field kitchen on the first floor of a house with broken windows and crashed ledges, a generator supplied light. There was no running water. Inside, it was noisy from the voices of the many who dined there, but from time to time an order was heard from the street and the silence reigned. In this silence, the dog-accompanied rescue workers, who were climbing over the five-story tall ruins, froze listening, trying to catch the voice from underneath. No survivors were ever found. Bodies were - scorched, torn apart, without arms, legs, eyes. To keep the air clean, the bodies were put away, into the Brooks Brothers store, where they were later picked up by ambulances.

Near hospitals and churches all over Manhattan the walls were covered with photographs of the missing. The Armory at 26th and Lexington was turned into a center for families of the victims. Crowds of people were always there. There were lots of photos and lots of names - American, Spanish, Greek, Chinese, Russian, the list goes on.

It was beyond comprehension to look at the mountains of disfigured metal and think that there might still be people whose last memory was that of a crazy, unstoppable fall into a tornado of steel and concrete. I wanted to believe that the surrounding structures would stand firm while the hopes and forces were aimed at finding miraculous survivors.

http://www.doblevych.com</text>
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              <text>It started out like any other day. When I finished my shower, and walked up front, my mom told me that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Centers. I had not heard of them, and asked several questions about them. The phone rang, and she went out front to get somthing out of the car when the second plane hit the second tower. I went running outside to tell my mom what had happened. She was talking to a neighbor when I interrupted. Mom, I yelled, a plane just hit the other building. The people on the T.V. say that we are being attacked by terriorist.  She turned around and said that they were speculating, and that it probably wasn't true. I went back inside to see what else happened, and saw a plane had crashed into the Pentagon. Later I saw that the plane that crashed on the way to the White House.  All the things made me very nervous. Later that afternoon, I remember my mom saying, "We need to get a gun. There is a good chance that somthing will happen during the night, and we need to be prepared." We never got a gun, but I will never forget what happened this day. </text>
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The true character of the American people has shone through and I have never been prouder to be an American than I have been this past year.  I have watched a self serving country turn into a selfless community working together to help each victim of this horrific attack. I will always remember the footage that is now etched in my mind.  I honor thse who died and I pray for their families and all the lives they touched.  May God bless America! </text>
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              <text>It was about 7:30-7:45 Central Standard Time.  I'm a Spanish teacher and I was preparing for the coming class.
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"We're going to bomb them" the students said.  "They're not
going to get away with this."  The students somehow did not understand the magnitude of this incident.  As adults we believe that the U.S is the greatest country in the world.
Understanding that with greatness comes great responsiblity.
And to see one of our great structures hit and thousands
of people killed showed us that we are not as safe as we all thought.
After my class was over I spoke to my colleague who is a German teacher.  She cried.  "How could this happen,"  she said.  "These kind of things just don't happen here."  It was scary for us all.  It is still scary today.  How can we trust again.  How will we heal.  The theme, "We Shall Never Forget" touched my heart.  I will never forget this and my children and their children will never forget this.  It's weird how an incident like this brings everyone together as a nation.  It shows you who you really are.  I'm an American, I was born an American and I will die an American.
This is my country and this is my home.  I'm proud to be a part of this great country.</text>
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              <text>On September 10th, 2001 I buried my father. His death was
sudden and quite unexpected.  I had held up rather well under
the circumstances but my heart was broken and grief had
overwhelmed me.  Because I was executor of his estate, my
first duty on September 11th was to go to my lawyer's 
office for help in settling his estate.  I had gotten up
pretty early and went out on my front porch for a smoke.
As I was sitting there, a neighbor boy ran from the house
across the street from me to another house screaming "Those
$%@!^&amp;*'s they have blown up the building." I didn't pay
him any mind because he never made much sense to me anyway.

I went on out to my lawyer's office and in the course of the
conversation, she said, "In light of what has happened to our
country today, you need to think of your financial future."  
I was puzzled at this comment and asked what she meant. She 
gave me the bad news about the attack and I was paralyzed with 
disbelief.  Then I remembered my neighbor's ranting as he
ran across the street earlier in the morning. That is what he
was talking about.
 I finished my business with the lawyer and went to  consumer
credit to conductmore of my Dad's unfinished  business.  
When I walked in the door there were no employees
in the front office.  They were all huddled around a small
television in a private area for employees only.  I 
disregarded the partition separating the TV room from
the front office and found myself watching in horror with
them.  They hadn't even noticed that I didn't belong there.
As we watched the second tower being struck I remember thinking
"This is not a movie - those are real people in that plane
and in that building".  Suddenly, my thoughts turned to the
lose of my Dad and the grief I felt at his unexpected death. 
My own fears and feelings seemed so small in comparision to
what my fellow countrymen were experiencing in New York City.
I remember trying to put myself in the place of those people
running so hard down the streets away from the smoke and
choking dust that chased them when the towers fell. I tried
to imagine how it would feel to know I was going to die in
those planes in just a few minutes'time. It was not imaginable.
The world as I know it changed that day.  I was joined in
my personal grieving by thousands who lost loved ones and 
millions who watched helplessly as our great nation was attacked.
  Today, September 11, 2002, as we remembered the events of
last year, tears flowed openly as our radio stations 
played songs written about bravery, God in the stairwells, 
last kisses goodbye and a proud nation filled with grief
for the loss of those we have never met. School children
gathered to remember our "real heros" - the public servants 
who risk their lives for others every day. Business people
all over America wore red, white and blue and drove to work
with their headlights shining.  We won't soon forget this
sad day in history when America woke up and realized how
precious is our way of life and how much we love our country.

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              <text>On September 10, 2001 I took 11 junior high kids to a contemporary Christian concert at the local fair.  Uplifting songs of God's love rang out over the entire fairgrounds.  We had a great time, but got home late after returning all the kids to their homes after the concert.  

On September 11, I got all my kids off to school and then went back to sleep to catch up from the night before.  My husband came into our bedroom and said, "Babe,  I know you're trying to sleep...but you have to get up, we're under attack".  A little dazed, I asked him what he was talking about and he replied, "they're taking planes full of people and crashing them all over the country!"  My heart jumped.  I flung back the covers and asked, "Who?!? Who is doing that?" He said "I don't know.  It's awful. Come and see."  We walked into the living room and watched in horror as the news stations played the clips of the towers collapsing.  We were horrified at the predictions that there could be 50,000 people in the towers when it fell.  I had the full range of emotions from sadness to disbelief and anger.  

The one year anniversary was yesterday.  I am determined to reconsider my life and live with purpose.    </text>
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              <text>Tuesday September 11th 2001


I arrived in the office early as Gil Scharf; the CEO of Euro Brokers, and my boss, was in London and I needed to fax over the previous day?s New York reports to him.

It was a glorious day, I had been up at six running, cooling down by walking through Battery Park.  I left for work relaxed and happy at about 7.20am.

I was at my desk by 7.30am, had breakfast ? sent the first fax, was working on getting the second set of figures for him, and had a wire transfer going through to CIBC.

I remember picking up the telephone to dial London, and I heard a loud bang?my pc screen flickered, the lights flashed on and off, and I saw paper and dust floating through the office window opposite where I sat - it was like an American ?ticker tape? parade, as the paper swirled and danced in the air.

I ran around the corner to see Brian Clark, who told me not to panic, that it was probably a construction explosion, and that he would investigate.  I went back to my desk, sat down, and then I heard a mans voice shout ??Everybody Out??(I was later to find out that it was Bob Twohig from our Convertible Bond desk) I remember walking along the corridor, seeing Mary Paterno and telling her that I was going to leave?I then remember seeing Walter Dulski and telling him the same thing.

I then went back to my desk to collect my bag.  As I was about to leave, I hesitated and decided to call London to tell Gil what was happening.

Kerry Stewart; the London receptionist, couldn?t find him, so I asked to speak to Robin Clark; the Managing Director of the London office, and until recently my boss, and I remember vividly my conversation with him:


J:	Rob, something?s happening next door, we?re all okay, but we?re leaving.

R:	Something?s happening next door?!?!?!?!?  Fucking hell Janice, a plane?s gone into the building - get the fuck out of there!!!!


The urgency in his voice made me move?I don?t remember saying goodbye nor putting down the phone, I just grabbed my bag and ran.  I ran right and into the small bond dealing area where I saw Brian Clark, Dan Smith and Domenick Mircovich.  As I ran I told them what Robin had said, I vaguely remember smelling what I now know to be airline fuel as I ran, and asking if I should stay or go?Brian told me that whatever I was doing that I needed to stay away from the windows, I remember Dan turning, walking towards me and smiling?I didn?t even stop to talk to him - I just kept running.  I left the dealing area and ran into the main corridor, still not knowing what I was going to do.  The first person I saw was Steve Chucknick - he and Jose Marrero were standing at the crossroads in the corridor, Steve said ?come on Janice ? down you go?.  The decision to stay or go was taken away from me with those few words, and he herded me into the fire escape staircase.

The staircase was already full with people coming down from above, it was a steady pace, but people were chatting, joking and relaxed.  A chap from Euro Brokers had entered the staircase just before me, but three girls separated us, he kept looking back, but as the stairs kept turning I struggled to keep him in sight.  I knew that I needed to be with someone I at least vaguely recognized, so I asked the girls if I could squeeze in.  I felt happier being with someone from the same company, although I didn?t know who he was.  I was wearing some ridiculously high clip-cloppy shoes, and he suggested that it would be quicker if I took them off, so I put them in my bag, and continued down in bare feet.
   
When we got down to the 72nd floor, there was an announcement from the building security.  They assured us that our building was secure, that the emergency services had requested they not evacuate our building as the space on the plaza was being used as an emergency medial center for those being evacuated from One World Trade.  The announcement went on to say that we should take a note of which floor we were on, go back into the building at the nearest reentry point, and make our way back to our own offices.  Our nearest was the 70th floor.  We carried on down two more flights, and entered back into the building on the 70th floor?we followed the crowd, walking into and through the offices of Morgan Stanley, and into their lift lobby.  

There was a further announcement whilst we were walking, repeating again that our building was secure, and that the lifts would start to work again momentarily.

When we got to the lift lobby there were already about ten people there, I was still with this chap I didn?t know, but now we had caught up with some other people from Euro Brokers who I did know, in particular ? Paul Gilby (Daisy), and Robert Coll (Woody).  Daisy is English, and I remember saying to him that I hoped this type of thing didn?t happen too often??every eight years? I remember him saying, and I knew that he was referring to the bomb attack in 1993, when his dealing area was on the 31st floor of One World Trade Center.  We waited for about three minutes, the lifts did not come back on, and a suggestion went up that we should start walking?Daisy and Woody turned and left very quickly?I tried to keep up, and remember calling to Daisy to wait for me?he called back ?hurry up, old woman? and then turned into the staircase.  I never saw him again.  I stayed with this unknown chap, and now several others I knew to be from Euro Brokers, but again I didn?t know who they were - we walked into the staircase which was still full of people walking down?we tried to walk up, and I remember a girl asking me where I was going.  I told her that we had been assured that our building was secure so we were heading back to our office.  She carried on walking down.  We waited for probably a minute or so, for the staircase to clear, and then we started on our way back up.

There were now about seven of us.

After walking for about ten minutes, we left the staircase and walked into a connecting corridor.  I was about five steps into the corridor when I felt a dull thud, the building shook for about five seconds, and I fell back against the wall, I also remember the ceiling coming down behind me, and smoke or dust filling the air, and I remember a man with a white shirt running back and forth.  He tried both the door that we had just come through and the door up in front of us?both were blocked with fallen debris and rubble.   

Then I heard a woman?s blood curdling, high pitch scream, and I remember a man?s voice shouting for help and some frantic banging.  We all moved further into the corridor to see where the noise was coming from, we could hear crying and shouting from the other side of the up door, so, led by the man with the white shirt, we cleared the rubble, and pushed and pulled on the door until it opened.  About six shocked and dazed people came through?all were bloody and the women were crying.

The first woman had blood all over her arm, which was cut, almost neatly, from her shoulder to her elbow, I remember seeing the bone, and her skin just flapping around?one of the guys took his t-shirt off and wrapped it around her arm, tying it in a knot under her arm pit, she also had a wounded foot, glass in her hair, and cuts on her face.   She was with a man who had cuts all over his arms.

One man had a cut across the back of his neck, and the back of his t-shirt was soaked with blood.  Another man had a blood-splattered shirt and had huge pieces of glass in his chest, which the others were pulling out.

One of the men said that he had heard a loud hissing sound, looked up and saw a huge fireball coming towards them from the direction of the other building, and that the windows were all blown in on them as they ran back to the door.  My initial thought was that Tower One had fallen on us.

The last person to come through was another woman who had long dark hair.  She had cuts all over her face, and had one eye full of blood?this was the woman who was screaming?she was saying that she couldn?t see, and was waving her arms frantically in the air?someone gave her a bottle of water, she washed her face, and the blood in her eye was from a deep gash on her forehead, which had dribbled down.  When she shook her hair, glass showered everyone.  

We all then moved towards the down side of the corridor, to the door that we had originally came through.  This door was now blocked with rubble and the buckled wire ceiling grid that had fallen down.  Together we moved all the concrete and plaster and the man with the white shirt eventually pulled the door open, as he looked down he said that the stairs were gone, and all that he could see was smoke and darkness.

?almost magically there was another door?flush with the wall, and the same colour?one that I had walked straight past and never even noticed?again, the doorway was blocked?the men all pulled back the rubble, and we opened the door?just a little at first, as something was blocking it from the other side.  The man with the white shirt squeezed through?he then pushed from the other side, as the men on our side pulled?(the man with the white shirt I was later to find out was Peter Rogers, who works on our Caps desk).  The door was then open enough for us to get through.  I remember going through sideways?and feeling with my bare feet to find a hold?there was a huge plank of ceiling that had fallen, and that I eventually walked onto.  There was one lady behind me, the same lady who was in the corridor when we heard the screaming, and she was coughing loudly.  Then lastly was the man from Euro Brokers, who made sure that everyone was through before he left.  

He came through, and then we all set off down the stairs?the lady with the arm and the bad foot was in front of me, with the other lady with the cough behind me.

(I was later told that three other people from Euro Brokers were in the corridor with us:  Steve Hudson, Mario Lopez-Lena and Greta Mayans, all from our Mexico desk.  I do recall seeing Steve Hudson ? but I did?nt know 
at the time who he was).

We entered a well-lit staircase, which was littered with pieces of ceiling, wire, plaster and concrete.  Plastic coke bottles had exploded, and there was a broken pipe gushing water down the stairs, which mixed with the coke made them very slippery? the woman in front of me was sliding all over the place.  It was very dusty, I remember coughing, and my feet feeling sticky and wet.

After about six flights of stairs, the debris cleared, and the staircase was deathly quiet.  All that I could hear were people coughing, and the woman with the long hair still crying.  

As we were walking down, the man from Euro Brokers was constantly running back and forth between the people at the front, and me and the coughing lady at the back.  He kept telling us to stay focused, watch where we were walking, to hold on to the handrail and to keep moving.  

I remember the woman behind me crying, and coughing even louder, she told me that she had asthma, and she had to keep stopping to take deep breaths.  The woman in front, with the arm, keep saying over and over again that she was moving house on Friday, she was crying and saying that she would not be able to help her husband with a bad arm.  Her left foot was bleeding badly and I saw that she only had half a shoe on.  Each step she took left a bloody footprint, I remember looking down at my left foot and seeing blood oozing through my bare toes as I stepped behind her.  I remember a sheer panic sweeping over me, and a scream building in my throat, until I heard a voice in my head telling me to calm down, everything was going to be okay, that it was not my blood, and that I needed to focus and listen to the man from Euro Brokers.

I stopped dead a few flights later when I saw blood on my shirt, it was on the front and on my left sleeve, not much, but still it shocked me.  I remember pulling my shirt from my body and mouthing to this still unknown man ?I?ve got blood on my shirt? I kept repeating it again and again, standing dead-still.  He put his arms around me, told me that it was okay, but that we really needed to keep moving.   I remember starting to cry, and stopping again a few flights later and saying ?I don?t even know your name?.  His name was Bob Mahon.

We carried on down ? we never saw anyone else until we were on about the 8th floor - when we saw three firemen walking up?they seemed to look us over, probably noting that there were walking wounded amongst us, but otherwise that we were okay, and then they carried on up without saying a word.

With about ten flights to go, the lady in front of me stopped, started crying loudly and started shaking uncontrollably, her foot was hurting, clearly she was having trouble walking.  She said that she couldn?t go on, that she needed to rest, that we were to leave her, and to send help when we finally got to the plaza level?Bob said no, and without much fuss at all ? he gave her a piggy back, down - I don?t know, eight, ten, twelve flights of stairs ? he carried her right to the bottom.

At concourse level it was a tad chaotic, and we were directed by Port Authority workers past Cosmetics Plus, towards the Path Terminal, then across by Sabarro?s around past Nine West and then up the escalator by Torneau, all the shops were locked and empty.  There was a steady stream of Firemen and Police officers going back into the building as we were leaving.

We left the World Trade Center by Borders book shop, and came up onto Liberty Street, opposite the Millennium Hotel ? at that point the lady with the arm, and the man who had stayed with her all the time were taken to the emergency medical center which had been set up on the Plaza?the last I saw, she was being led away by a paramedic.

As I watched her leaving, a policeman stopped us at the top of the stairs and told us to ?keep your heads down, don?t look up, don?t look back?.  Bob grabbed my hand, and we took off running.

As we ran I remember seeing a woman standing there, coffee in one hand, Krispy Kreme donut in the other looking up at the building in a total trance.  I wanted to grab her?shake her, and tell her to run.

We crossed the road, and ran towards a policeman who was waving frantically at us, we ran past the Church into Vesey Street, and kept running until we came to the mouth of the Brooklyn Bridge.  

Lower Manhattan was clearly being evacuated, and the emergency services were directing everyone over the Bridge into Brooklyn.

Bob asked me where I lived, I told him Battery Park, and so we made a plan to start walking across the crowds to my apartment.

He asked me what time it was?it was 9.43am.  

Then for the first time I looked up at the World Trade Center? I couldn?t believe what I was seeing, where our floor should have been there was a huge gaping hole, and I could see smoke and flames? I could taste sick in my mouth as a wave of nausea swept over me, and I stood in a trance?just like the Krispy Kreme woman, and I started to cry.  I cried all the way home. I walked barefoot through the streets holding Bob?s hand and crying.  He was wonderful, he kept me moving, and kept me calm.  People were looking at us, someone pointed at me and said ? ?look that girl has blood on her shirt?. I cried even harder.

The streets were full? and instead of leaving Lower Manhattan people were all just milling around, not knowing what to do, there were Police and Emergency Service officers everywhere, directing people, and still moving them towards the Brooklyn Bridge.

We were still walking against the crowds, but eventually, we crossed the West Side Highway, and walked into my apartment block. 

The park opposite was full of people just standing around in small groups talking and looking up at the Towers in shock and awe.

My apartment was on the 17th Floor of 225 Rector Place in Battery Park, Bob came in, tried to call his wife ? the lines were constantly busy, so he gave me a hug, told me that I was safe inside, and that I should try to relax.  Then he left.

Once he had gone.   I just kept trying to call London.  After about ten minutes I was able to get through and I spoke to Gil.  He asked me if I was okay, where I was, who I was with, and who I last saw on the floor.  For the first time, I thought about who I had last seen...I told him about Brian, Dan and Domenick, and that it was Steve and Jose who had herded me into the staircase.  I told him about Bob, that he was okay, but that he had left and was going to try to get home to New Jersey.

The line was disconnected after about three minutes.

I kept trying and eventually got through again.  This time I spoke to Robin, and then to my best friend Jill Whitfield.  She later told me that I was hysterical, which was strange? I thought that under the circumstances, I was quite calm.

I then tried to call my family and friends in Florida, and Ray, who was looking after my dog; Sidney, in upstate New York.  I remember talking to him, and again the line being cut.  Each time I finally got through to anyone the line was disconnected after a few minutes.

When the first tower fell, I heard the rumble a long time before I saw anything.  I thought that it was another plane, and I remember screaming and ducking and waiting for the inevitable crunching sound.

There was a small flurry of dust and I saw paper swirling around outside my window.  The telly stayed on, and everything in the apartment continued to work.

I was still trying to call my friends, the lines were either constantly engaged, or just ringing, and then going to a voice recording saying that my call could not be connected at that time.

Then I heard the same rumbling sound that I had heard before - this one was much louder?I was on the telephone to a friend in Houston, and the line went dead, the telly flickered off, I felt the building move, the crockery in the dish washer began to rattle, the windows were vibrating and making a humming sound, and as I looked up I saw darkness creeping around my building.  I watched in a trance as the billowing cloud seemed to move in slow motion as one by one my windows were blacked out.  It was as if there was someone on the roof unwinding a heavy roll of carpet?until eventually it was pitch black inside, and I could not even see my hand in front of my face, I remember sitting down and crying?I sat on the sofa rocking back and forth, and I thought that I was going to die.  I was so frightened.  I was going to die, and I was alone.  I will never forget that feeling.  Even now, in my dreams I see this girl sitting alone in the dark rocking back and forth and crying, thinking that she is going to die.

The humming and rattling stopped first as the building seemed to shudder and come to a rest.

I remember being shocked into action, and getting up racing to find a torch, trying the telephone, turning the telly on and off, the lights?nothing was working, and I had no water?I ran into my bedroom to get my sports radio, and I just sat in the dark crying and listening to the news. 

After a while the black turned to gray, then to light gray and then to just swirling paper and dust.  I remember standing up and looking out at the Statue of Liberty in the harbour ? one side of my apartment looked like a picture-perfect summers day, the other side was chaos and people were dying.

I was shocked out of my daze by the telephone ringing, the only thing in my apartment to spring back into life, it was Sylvia Connors who was calling me looking for her husband Kevin.  Whilst I was in London, Kevin stayed at the apartment, and still had the keys?she was hoping that somehow he would make his way back to Battery Park, and just turn up on my doorstep, I was to speak to her at least three more times during the coming hours.

Then I heard a commotion in the hallway outside my apartment?someone calling for help ? I opened the door to a cloud of black dust, and called out for them to walk towards the light?out of the darkness came firstly 
a young girl, and then a young man.

She had been in the lift, which opened at my floor, as she got off ? the dust cloud came up the lift shaft.  He was from an apartment on my floor, which was nearest to the World Trade Center ? he had glass in his hair, and cuts to his face and arms ? but was shocked more than anything else.  He was looking out of his window as the second tower began to fall, and as he tried to close the window it smashed and fell in on him.

We cleaned him up, putting plasters on his hands and arms, and then sat, alternatively trying the telephone ? but mostly getting the voice recording.

The girl had a call on her mobile phone, one of her friends was at Pier 11, and there were ferries leaving for New Jersey, so she left almost immediately.  She lived on the 19th floor, so was first going up to her apartment to collect some belongings.  I gave her my telephone number and told her to call if she needed any help.   I never heard from her again.

After an hour or so, I went with the man back to his apartment ? there was dust and glass everywhere, all the windows on one side of his apartment had blown in, and his belongings on that side were scattered all over the place.  He collected some clothes, and decided to make his way to Greenwich Village where his office was and where most of his friends lived.

I went back to my apartment and decided that I needed a plan.

After I got through, I had been leaving messages for Eileen McMahon; the Euro Brokers New York Personnel Director, and finally she called me.  She had heard my messages, so knew that I was safe, but had trouble getting through to me.

The train she was on had been terminated at City Hall, and she had come up onto the street about ten minutes before the plane hit our building.  

After walking for over an hour she eventually found a Queens bound bus, which took her almost to the top of her road.

I can?t remember if she invited me, or I invited myself?but a plan was hatched that I would make my way to her place if the power did not come back on in my apartment.  

The plan was set that I would have to leave my apartment by 5.15pm, in order to get to her before it started to get dark.  So I busied myself packing a small bag.

I tried to contact the house management, there was no answer at the reception desk of the building, so randomly calling ? I finally got an answer from the on-site dry cleaners?who actually told me that they were based at the far side of Battery Park ? he said that my building had been evacuated about three hours before, and that I should think about leaving?I told him that I hoped that the power would come back on, and that I could stay ? he told me it wouldn?t happen, that the whole area had no electricity, gas or water.

I told him that it was pitch black in the hallway outside my apartment, he told me to get into the fire exit, and make my way to the ground floor.

He asked if I had a torch?I did have, but it seemed to only flicker on when it wanted to?I told him that I had a candle ? he told me not to use the candle as he had been told that there were underground gas explosions ? I told him that I would open the door and see if I could smell gas ? he told me that by then it would be too late!!

He wished me well, and said that he was just leaving and was going to try to get to New Jersey by ferry.

I did not have a mobile phone, so knew that once I left the apartment that I would not be able to get into contact with anyone ? I remember feeling very vulnerable, especially not knowing where to go?every subway train that I had ever taken had been from The World Trade Center, so I really didn?t know where to start.

Eileen told me to head to Canal Street, but again, the only time I had walked to Canal Street had been via The World Trade Center.

I remember sitting and hoping that the power would come back on.

It never did.

I walked out into the hall, opened the fire exit door, and as I could not smell gas I knew that it would be safe for me to use a candle.
  
So at 5.15pm, and after one final heartbreaking conversation with Sylvia, I left my apartment to head to Canal Street, in the hope of getting a train to Queens.

I had two bags, my sports radio, and a scrappy piece of paper with Eileen?s address and phone number.
As I locked my apartment, my bags strapped across me, and balancing a candle, I made my way to the fire exit?the door opened easy, but it was pitch black inside and echoey?I called out several times, but with no answer, I then started to walk down?when the door made a heavy clunk behind me ? I started to cry.  I stood in the dark with my candle, my legs were like jelly, and my heart was beating so hard?I was ankle deep in dust and paper and coming down those 17 floors was so much harder than coming down the 84 floors in the World Trade Center.  

I finally got to the bottom, but when I tried to open the door?I couldn?t, it was blocked with dust and paper, and what looked like pieces of cardboard. I turned to put the candle down, and as I did it blew out, I was in total darkness?my heart stopped, and again I felt a wave of panic sweep over me ?but this time there was no Bob to help me, and I knew that I had to do it myself?so I started to kick all the paper and dust out of the way, and kept pulling on the door.  After what seemed a lifetime, but in reality was probably only a minute or two, I was finally able to pull it open, and was blinded by a flash of sunlight?the reception area was deserted, one of the huge picture windows was smashed, and there was dust, paper and glass everywhere.

As I pushed the front doors open, I waded out into almost knee high dust and rubble ? the park opposite was totally dust covered, and I was the only person around?I shouted out several times, but no one answered?it looked much like I image it would after a nuclear explosion, and it was so so quiet?it was really spooky, nothing?no traffic, no ferry horns, not even a bird.  I would never have known that a city with a reputation for being so loud, could be so deathly quiet.

I stood for a few moments looking around, and then I started towards the Brooklyn Bridge, going wide of the way we came before, as the road Bob and I had walked down was now covered in building parts, and I could see cars flipped on their sides.

After walking for about ten minutes two firemen walked up to me and asked me if I was alright, I told them that I needed to get to Canal Street, and they waved me in the general direction?but each road I tried to walk down was either blocked by rubble, or by police and firemen.
I walked for at least two hours, and knew that I was in the Canal Street area by the Asian supermarkets and shops, but could not find anyone who spoke English?then ? almost out of the gloom ? I heard a very commanding voice say ?this way everyone? and I looked around to see three girls and a guy following the man with the booming voice?I quickly tagged on, and the girls fell in beside me asking questions?they could see that I was upset, and when I saw them looking at my bloody shirt ? I explained, the best I could, what had happened to me?by the time I had finished I was in tears, and I remember giving the booming voiced man the piece of paper with Eileen?s address on, and told him that I needed to get to Canal Street station.  They were heading that way, and he said that I should stay with them.  They would look after me.

When we got to the station, I just let them take charge?someone gave me a ticket and then I was on a train?the booming voiced man still had my piece of paper and was writing down where I should go, and which lines I had to change onto ? each time he wrote something down?someone would shout out that the line was closed and come up with an alternative ? I still have the piece of paper, it looks like it has been through the wars, discoloured and tatty, but with the vital address I needed to get to Eileen?s, and the trains I needed to take.

Two of the girls got off one stop before me at 33rd Street. 

Then it came to Grand Central ? the stop where I had to get off?the booming man leaned out of the train pointed down the platform, and told me to follow the directions for the number 7 train, which would take me to Queens.

Another man got out at the same stop, and told him that he would look after me.  He took my arm and just led me?he took me to the platform that I needed, and waited until the train came in.  I was aware of him talking to the conductor, and I got on.  The conductor came out of his cab, made some people move, and had me sit down.  He talked to me the whole way, and also started talking to two ladies that were sitting opposite, one of the ladies was getting off where I needed to change, and the conductor instructed her to take me to the R train.  I remember walking up two flights of stairs, before being on the right platform.  She put me on the train with the conductors cab, and as before, she spoke to him before putting me on.

The conductor came out of his cab, talked to me for the rest of the journey and put me off at 63rd/Rego Park.

I called Eileen from a petrol station just outside the subway, and she came to meet me.  It was 8.55pm, a normal 45 minute journey had taken me nearly four hours.

I cried when I saw her.

Her niece Elaine, Elaine?s husband Rob, and their daughter Ciara were there, and I remember feeling very detached, as we sat watching telly and eating pizza.

I don?t remember much about anything else that night?I do remember spending about an hour in the shower washing the dirt and dust away?and I remember looking at myself in the mirror and knowing that my life would never be the same again.

I was aware of Eileen talking to Roger Schwed; the Euro Brokers legal counsel, on the telephone, and him telling her that 80 people were still missing, which I couldn?t understand, and I know that she said that we would go to the help-desk, which was being set up at Michael Scharf?s office on Madison Avenue, the following day.  I think that I spoke to my Aunt, and my Dad, but I am not really sure?it is the only time that I can?t remember clearly what happened?everything else is so vivid and has stayed with me ? this alone I am vague on.

I don?t remember what time I went into bed?but I remember looking at the clock and seeing 3am blinking at me ? I couldn?t close my eyes without seeing the flames and smoke coming from our floor, and that billowing black cloud moving slowly around my apartment.  I woke exhausted.


Wednesday September 12th 2001

We arrived at Michael Scharf?s office at about 11.30am on Wednesday September 12th.  

Already at the help-desk were Sue Sullivan, Roger Schwed and Steve Vigliotti, together with Debbie Leible, who works for Michael Scharf.  Sue, Roger and Steve had been there since the day before at about 11.00am, so had worked through the night, together with Walter Danielsson ? who had left about ten minutes before we arrived.  

I remember Sue giving me the piece of paper with the names of the people who were still missing.  

Looking down at the list?with each name I saw a face, and recalled a conversation; some of them I had seen the morning before in the kitchen, others I had made plans to go out with later that week?I saw Dan?s name, Domenick?s, Steve?s and Jose?s - of the last five people I saw on our floor, four were missing?also included in the list I saw Kevin Connors name, and I thought of my conversations with Sylvia the day before, and I remembered how, with each call and the passing hours, her voice became more and more desperate, and I felt particularly sad?all these people were missing, and I didn?t understand.  

Overnight the list had come down from 80 people to 60.

Our main job was to answer the telephones, and give out what sketchy information we had.  

Eileen and I arrived at the help desk at 11.30am, and did not leave until 2.30pm the following day, </text>
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I woke up got ready for Sociology and received a phone call from a friend attending the same college as me.  Scott told me to turn on my TV. "Haven't you heard?  I think we are going to war?  A plane has flown into one of the world trade center buildings!" I turned on my TV and my confusion turned to disbelief as I fell onto my extra-long twin bed.  I was staring at what looked to be an action movie as I heard Scott's voice yelling from the phone, "are you okay, are you there?"  I began to cry after I hung up with Scott.  I called my mom crying telling her I wanted to come home, I didn't want to be this far away if the US was going to war on our soil!  She comforted me the best she could before hanging up.  Questions were swirling in my mind, like is this the end of the world, why would someone want to hurt Americans, would I be able to get married?  I questioned if class would be held but decided to go.  As I walked down the halls afraid that someone might fly a 757 into my dormitory, I watched other teens and twenty somethings witness the most horrific attack on US soil that Americans had ever seen.  Everyone I passed walked in a daze, mouths open, tears brimming their eyes, quiet, and polite.  I sat in class next hundreds of other students who seemed to be as clueless and as numb as I was.  I do not remember what Professor Hart was teaching about that day but I do remember how one Montana campus pulled together and lifted each other up that fall.  I recall that the only place I found peace was in prayer and no not all my questions were answered, but I am getting married next July
 
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