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              <text>I was on the last week of my maternity leave.  My mom, sister, and two-month-old daughter were enjoying a quiet, post-Labor Day vacation at Virginia Beach.  We had just come in from breakfast, and my mom and sister went out to walk the beach.  I sat down to feed my baby when the phone rang.  My brother called to tell me to turn on the TV.  The first plane had just hit.

I watched for a few minutes until the second plane hit, and realized it wasn't an accident.  I ran out to the boardwalk, with my sleeping baby wrapped up in a blanket, frantically looking for my mom.  I told three or four people on the boardwalk... and interestingly enough, none of them seemed particularly concerned or even upset.  My sister, who had ducked into the hotel room looking for me, came running out crying "What is that?  What is that?"  I told her quickly what had happened, and she ran out onto the beach to get my mom.

We watched the towers burning, until the TV coverage switched to a burning picture of the Pentagon.  We all started screaming.  My mom, dad, stepmom, and father-in-law all work in Washington, DC - my father-in-law even working in the Pentagon.  We spent most of the morning calling everyone frantically, getting my mom's co-workers out of DC, making sure my father-in-law was home safe.  I must have called my husband ten times to just know he was okay (even though we live in a small town four hours from DC.)  I used to live in New York City, so I called everyone I knew to make sure they were safe.  

We watched the rest of the days events, sitting on the floor in a fog.  Thankfully, the baby slept for most of the day.  Later in that afternoon, we watched ships leaving Norfolk/Hampton Roads Naval Base, heading out to sea to New York harbor.

Due to the proximity of Oceana Air Base, the entire shoreside area was locked down, and the Chesapeake Bay Tunnel was shut down to traffic.  We ended up staying another day at the beach.

I've said now that I'm glad I was away from work and home on that day.  Although being away from my husband was terrifying, I'm now glad I can separate the place and time from my "everyday" life.  However, it made the day even more surreal.  

When I lived in NYC, the World Trade Center buildings could be easily seen from my Brooklyn apartment kitchen window. I saw them everyday. I love the city, but it will take me a while to want to go back.</text>
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              <text>My husband and I were getting our children ready for school.  We turned on the television and could not believe our eyes.  We may be in Canada, but it was unbelievable.  We watched from two minutes after the first plane struck, saw the second plane and then had to take our kids to school.  My husband was off work that week, and we watched continuously.  The t.v. did not even go off at night.  I have collected as much paraphenalia as I could, pictures, songs, emails, everything possible.  We drove past the airport and all we could see were all the military planes lined up, which sent chills up my spine.  Many songs, a year from now will stop me in my tracks and bring tears to my eyes.  Today, one year later, the t.v. has not changed off CNN as of 6am this morning, even my children have watched.  I have had tears in my eyes most of the day.  One thing that I will never forget, was this was called "The day the world stopped", and it really did.  We have a great view of the moon out our back door, and we went outside a few times that night, 9/11/01, and something that was very eerie, was the moon, in 6 hours, never moved, it stayed in the same spot, pinpointed between two trees.  I will never forget that or anything else that has happened, it has been burned into our memory for the rest of our lives.  If I could send my heart for anyone or everyone in New York, I would.</text>
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              <text>Andy Sajdak								

	On September 11, 2001 I was attending 9th grade at Barker High School. I was in third period Introduction to Occupations class learning how to fill out checks.  The phone rang and the teacher talked for a minute. she gasped with astonishment from what she heard and quickly walked over to her desk and retrieved the television remote control from a drawer and flipped it to a news station. All we saw was a large high-rise with smoke bellowing out all the way across the superstructure toward the top of it.  We were still not sure exactly what happened, as history was changed right before our eyes.  We watched for a good five minutes then our teacher began explaining that we were looking at one of the twin towers and that a 747 jet was hijacked and crashed into the building.  The class was over the second the television was turned on.  We were watching in awe thinking that this was the end and next class we would go on as scheduled.  Then another plane was seen in the distance flying toward every one was holding there breath praying that the plane would not hit the building.  The plane was moving at full speed and slammed into the second of the twin towers.   A fireball shot out the opposite side that was hit.  People that were caught above the fire knew they were doomed and not wanting to die of being burned to death they decided that they would rather jump.  The buildings burned for a good 10 minutes and more and more people were jumping.  Then the reporter came on and said that another airplane had crashed into the Pentagon slicing it apart.  Then we didn't know what to expect next.  We all sat paralyzed with our eyes fixed on the screen when the unthinkable happened.  The first of the 2 monstrous buildings collapsed.  We were amazed watching the enormous building crumble before our eyes.  It was like watching the demolition of old factories except when old factories are demolished they are uninhabited.  This building was filled with thousands of people.  We weren't aware of the massive life loss during the collapse of the building.  Then minutes later the second structure collapsed papers were flying everywhere and an enormous dust cloud engulfed a large portion of the city.  People couldn't escape the cloud and were also engulfed and covered with dust and paper.  The city remained a large dust cloud for quite some time but when the dust cleared it was pure chaos.  Wounded people were everywhere.  The remains of the building were smoldering from the 2 white hot fires at the top fueled by the enormous fuel tanks of the 747's that pierced the buildings.    
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              <text>That it happened on such a luminous morning will always seem an extra measure of cruelty. After the previous day?s thunderstorms, the sky was a sparkling Easter-egg blue, the air warm and clean and full of promise. What pilots call ?severe clear.? Watching the staggering horror unfold against such astonishing clarity would make everything that was about to happen seem even more surreal.
At 5:30 a.m. on September 11th, in a fluky change in my routine, I happened to be waiting for a cab in front of the Marriott, next to the Twin Towers. The morning sun had just illuminated our magnificent skyline and the towers shone proudly, glittering and winking in the sunrise, as they had for the past thirty years.  
And like anything that?s right in front of you your whole life, I took them for granted at that moment. I didn?t take special notice of the clean, strong lines on the outside of those two monoliths, didn?t appreciate the dedication and brainpower and good humor among the people who spent so much of their lives inside of them.
The Twin Towers and I grew up together, in a way?both conceived in the mid 60?s and getting taller year by year. In 1973 the World Trade Center was complete and suddenly, the world my brothers and I inhabited was measured on a whole new scale. The dinosaurs we spent so much time thinking about were no longer ?taller than the Empire State Building!? according to our hyperbolic claims, but were now simply ?as tall as the Twin Towers!?
It was like that with those skyscrapers. The Twin Towers were IT. The pinnacle. The zenith. Nothing need surpass them. They seemed to just appear in the New York skyline one day, the tallest buildings in the world to us, dominating the view as if they?d always belonged there. Aesthetes may have scoffed at their unimaginative design, but they were like the ungainly new kid in Junior High who figures out how to be popular anyway.
Until some bitter and demented class cipher can?t take it anymore.

The year 2001 is behind us now. For many, healing has finally begun. Yet I still can?t figure out how to convince my heart and my mind that what happened in September was not just some heinous dream. I can?t accept the idea that we can never go back to the way it was before, that we have in fact been robbed of a fundamental American notion (whether or not such a belief was fair and appropriate compared to the rest of the world): the idea that this beautiful country is a haven from the often misfortunate world beyond our shores.
Scores of emails have circulated the globe about how lucky Americans are to have been spared for this long, about how we have been oppressors elsewhere, suggesting that it is somehow our Karmic due to accept terrorism onto our turf, too.
This explanation doesn?t work for me. I will never understand why anyone would want to inflict such a pointless and destructive wound on humanity.

But I wasn?t thinking about any of that at sunrise as my cab sped away from the spot that hours later would be dubbed Ground Zero, where a piece of the heart of the American Dream would shatter. I simply lay back in the cab and mindlessly watched the towers recede from view as I had a million times before.
I had been up all night playing alcohol-fueled board games with friends?all of us freelancers who keep quirky hours--in an apartment directly across from the World Trade Center. It was impossible not to raise our glasses to our privileged view. We even briefly discussed the intent behind the 1993 bombing and, like everyone has since then, immediately dismissed the idea that such malicious audacity would ever succeed. 
How could we know that the often imagined ?unthinkable? would come true within hours.
Uptown, I took a sleeping pill and hit the sack, expecting to sleep at least till noon. But, strangely, I awoke at exactly 8:45 a.m., just as the first plane (which I later learned contained my cousin?s wife and her mother) dive-bombed into tower two. An hour later, unable to sleep and still unaware of the chaos downtown, I turned on the TV.
Ten minutes later I am half-running down Lexington Avenue as most of southern Manhattan is trudging up it, toward the Queensboro Bridge. People are six-deep in line at every payphone. Men in power suits are crying and holding each other. The only store still open is a Foot Locker, which is offering sneakers to the mass exodus like manna to the Israelites. In front of Bloomingdales, I see a man covered in blood and soot. He is carrying his attach? case, dazed, walking like he can?t remember his own name. It starts to sink in. This is not just some tasteless TV movie of the week. 
I keep stumbling downtown, searching my adrenaline-addled brain to remember which of my friends work in the towers. I?m riddled with guilt for abandoning my Scrabble mates downtown earlier that morning. (I eventually learn that they were yanked out of sleep to the precipice of Hell, shattered glass and soot blasting through their apartment. A few days later, while a national guardsman escorts them up to the penthouse and the roof? ?airplane parts? and ?body parts? grafitti?d in spray-painted neon--I wait for them in the middle of ground zero. A layer of thick white ash blankets everything and everyone. My eyes and throat burn. The ground is hot under my feet. Singed and sodden financial documents and streamers of audiotape are wrapped around defoliated trees. I peer inside an abandoned bagel truck. The bagels, covered in a thick layer of soot, look like iced donuts. A knife sticks straight up out of a tub of butter. A soot-filled cup with a teabag waits under a spigot. The owner?s jacket hangs on a hook.  It?s impossible not think of Hiroshima.) 
As I continue downtown, watching the frightened, lost expressions on people?s faces, my heart begins to swell and tremble with an unfamiliar feeling?a deep sense of protectiveness for my city and its inhabitants. 
At 1:00 p.m. I find myself on 12th street on a friend?s roof looking at the radically altered view. I feel like I?ve lost a limb--as though I?ve emerged from anesthesia and discovered that my arm, or a breast, was unexpectedly amputated. Thanks to CNN, the sinister image of those dark planes ramming into the buildings is burned into everyone?s brain. I feel violated, repulsed by so much anger directed at my hometown. It makes me wonder how rape victims all over the city are taking all of this in.
My friends and I go from hospital to hospital to give blood. There is a seven-hour wait everywhere, but we are weeded out of line for health reasons: I?ve been treated for cancer and my friends have been to Africa recently. They don?t want our blood. We go to North Moore and Greenwich streets, where we hear they are looking for volunteers to help the rescue workers. This line, too, is around the block. Still unable to comprehend what has happened, we helplessly watch Seven World Trade burning nearby. Moments later it begins crumbling?the third building to fall that hellish day--and the police scream at hundreds of us to run; apparently it?s falling somewhat unpredictably, toward us. No one is hurt.
I race a few blocks north and am greeted by a group of ironworkers. They offer me some bottled water and a puff of oxygen if I want it. I decline and tell them number Seven is down. They begin assembling the torches they will use to cut the steel in the remains of the building, then start scribbling their phone numbers on little scraps of paper. Would I please call their wives and tell them they?re okay? It seems like peculiar timing to reassure their wives before they venture into the unstable, smoldering remains of what had minutes earlier been a 40-story building, but it?s the least I can do for these brave men. So I spend the next half hour at a payphone telling reassuring white lies to housewives all over Queens.
Around 5:00 p.m. I trek out onto the Manhattan Bridge, where I am dismayed to find myself under a billboard for a cheesy TV movie that states portentously, ?This Fall, Prepare Yourself For One Unforgettable Day.? In the distance, acrid plumes of smoke permeate the canyons of a stunned and heartbroken city.
I?m still so shattered about the buildings themselves, I haven?t yet begun to really think about the husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and lovers who were trapped inside them. 
That soon changed. 
I spent the next three weeks at the Family Assistance Center, at the Armory and Pier 94. My fellow volunteers and I greeted the victims? families, many of whom approached bearing Ziplock baggies containing their loved ones? toothbrushes for DNA sampling. The futility of it all was overwhelming. One man had flown in from Argentina to deliver his roommate?s hairbrush. Another woman had tracked down the biological parents of her missing adopted son in order to obtain their cheek swabs. 
The space was teeming with bleary-eyed but determined representatives from NYPD, NYFD, FBI, FEMA, the Medical Examiner, the US Attorney?s Office, The Red Cross, social workers, translators, chaplains, priests, rabbis, and imams. There was a toy-strewn child-care area, makeshift prayer space for every religion under the sun (for Muslims, a carpet below a handwritten sign that said simply ?East?), even a masseur (the much appreciated first stop for rescue workers coming back from a shift pulling bodies out of ?the pile?).
Surprisingly, the atmosphere was reminiscent of a well-funded political campaign. Except that every so often heartrending sobs punctuated the din.
It soon became apparent that relatives were extremely lucky if they received even a small fragment of a body part to bury. Yet the need to continue believing in the impossible was astounding. One young woman was certain that her missing brother was still alive?after ten days?convinced that he was surviving on dripping rainwater. A man whose boyfriend disappeared after running toward the collapsing towers in order to help was hoping that his partner had just been so caught up in the volunteer effort that he hadn?t had a chance to call?for almost a week. A Westchester housewife faithfully met her missing husband?s commuter train every evening for days afterward, hoping that he?d just become disoriented and would eventually find his way home.
Understanding the grief that awaited these people when they were ready to face it was nearly unbearable.
 
It?s been several months since a piece of our soul was taken from us. Given how fragile things seemed at first (watching millions of tons of steel and concrete crumble changes one?s perspective about what is solid in this world), it seems amazing that life has gone on. Even those of us who were a little behind the healing curve are now on the mend. I no longer flinch when a jetliner flies over the city or jump out of my skin when dishes invariably crash at the corner diner. I?m thinking about getting on an airplane again. My single girlfriends and I have forayed back into the dating trenches and have resumed our complaints about men. We think about the future, a concept that seemed almost pointless not so long ago. 
Life does go on. Soon it will snow and in the spring, crocuses will emerge. Summer will follow and on September 11th and every anniversary to follow, we will relive the sadness and the media will no doubt reanalyze every minute detail of that surreal day all over again. But people will fall in love, some will make babies, some will split up, maybe fall in love again. We?ll continue to be born, eat, sleep, dance, laugh, cry, dream, work and die. Perhaps we?ll come back, in another form, with a new understanding of everything. Perhaps not. Something will be built where the towers briefly stood and someday that building, and all of New York, will disappear and be replaced by something else.
In the meantime, all we can do is love our city, our planet, and each other. That shouldn?t be too tall an order. After all, nothing worth creating is too high to strive for in this town. Just look at our skyline. (It?s still pretty magnificent.)

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              <text>On September 11, 2001 I was sitting at my desk where I work for PEPCO doing the Overhead Lines budget, when my husband, Roy called me from home to tell me that a plane hit the World Trade Center in New York.  I told him I would call him back I wanted to tell my boss so he could turn the TV on. We turned on the TV and watched in disbelief that a plane had just hit the building.  I called my husband back and we discussed that it must have been an accident, maybe the pilot had a heart attack, something like that and I told him I would call him back.  I continued to watch the TV when the second plane hit the next tower and I called my husband again, crying that someone had to be crazy to do this kind of thing.  We sat and talked for a few minutes, while  he tried to calm me down and I told him I would get back with him in a little bit.  I went back to the TV when my boss's wife called from the Pentagon and said that her building had just been hit by a plane.  I ran to my office and called Roy to tell him, and he replied, Oh God Babe, Romeo.  Romeo Bishundat was a childhood friend of my son, Roy Jr. and had practically grew up at our house for the last 10 years along with about 20 other kids.  See we had closed in our garage and put a TV, refrigerator, computer games, pool table and stereo in there for the kids to have a place to hang out instead of on the streets getting in trouble, and it worked well. These kids are now 25, 26 years old, doing good and starting families, etc.  Anyway, I assured my husband that Romeo was ok and that I would call his Mom now and get back with him.  I called his home and got his sister, Danita who was very upset telling me her Mom was at work and couldn't get hold of Romeo and was going crazy.  The rest of the day, I was talking to my husband, paging our son, Roy Jr. to make sure he was okay, and my daughter Lisa calling me from Daytona, Florida scared because I worked just minutes from Andrews Air Force Base and she was thinking they would be next. So now I was trying to get hold of another one of the kids who worked at the Pentagon, Zack Zimmerman.  I got hold of Zack and he told me that he had a couple of voice mail messages from Romeo asking him to go on a smoke break, but Zack couldn't get back with him yet and then the plane hit.  Zack was trying to find out something and promised to get back with me.  Several more calls to Romeo's home and my husband, just kept me on edge wondering why Romeo had not called someone yet.  But then I knew, either he was helping other people get out or get help or he was hurt and in the hospital, and because I knew Romeo did not wear his ID badge then they didn't know who he was yet.  That was all.  He was ok, he had to be ok.  Then around 5:00 PM, I called his house again and his Mom was crying and telling me that the Navy had just called her and asked him she had heard from Romeo yet.  I told her that I was leaving work and would be there shortly.  I went by my house to get my husband and son and to go over to Romeo's.
As I got there my house had several of the friends gathering, wondering what had happened. We all ended up at Romeo's and stayed there until after 1:00am.  The Navy confirmed that Romeo had just being moved to the new section just three weeks earlier.  He had only been relocated to the Pentagon, three months earlier. We called every hospital, we called everybody we knew.  Then the Navy personnel arrived to tell us that Romeo was confirmed missing.  I knew that Romeo wasn't dead, he had gotten to one of those tunnels in the Pentagon and was holding up waiting for the flames to stop so he could get out.  I had to believe that with my family until September 21 when it was confirmed that Romeo was dead.  They had located his remains and made a positive ID.  It's funny, all this happened on September 11 and Romeo would have been 24 on Friday, September 14.  That Friday night my family, and  his friends gathered at his parents house with his Mom, Dad and two sisters and we celebrated his birthday, just knowing he was coming home.  We lit candles, we prayed, we cried, then we sang Happy Birthday, and God Bless America.  The next month was a total nightmare dealing with the waiting for his remains to come home for a burial.  Then on October 17th there was a 5 hour visitation at the Jay Cee Hall for Romeo where over 700 people attended.  My huband and son had put a video together of Romeo and his family and friends from the time he was born until just a week before his death.  The video played continously throughout the visitation.  The next day there was a funeral procession from Huntt Funeral Home in Waldorf, Maryland to Arlington National Cemetery, where over a 5 mile procession took place closing down Route 228, Route 210, and several more highways to accomodate the funeral procession without disturbance.  He was buried with full military honors after serving 6 years in the Navy.  A career he decided to start 2 days before his 18th birthday.  He was on the Sheveport of Norfolk, Virginia and traveled to California, Spain, Turkey and several other countries, where he would call our house, wanting to catch up with the guys "The Crew" or getting the latest gossip from either me or my husband. He was declared Sailor of the Year in 2001, and after his death the named the Learning Computer Center after him for all his hard work while on ship.  There was even times when Romeo would call telling us when to expect him so that I could have a pot of Chili ready for him when he would get in.  Whenever he walked into our house, he would stand and look at himself in the mirror for several minutes, flexing his muscles and smiling at himself, so I put a 5X7 photo of him there.  It seemed to be a fitting place to see his smiling face.  

Since September 11, my family, and his family and his friends are always going to some function in his honor and the others lost that day.  I don't believe my husband and I will ever get over it, we still get with his parents weekly to help them get through it.  And most of all we are doing what Romeo insisted on doing all the time and that was watch the guys keeping in touch, being there for each other and showing them that they are and will be a very special group of friends after being out of school 7/8 years.  They are still "The Crew", but now they have a Angel watching over them.  

I still look up at the sky whenever I see a plane and never in a million years can I believe that a plane hit a building in the United States and killed Romeo.  There is never a day he doesn't cross our minds and make our heart ache and make us shed tears thinking about him.  This September 11, we will all be together at his parents house to give support to each other and on what would have been his 25th birthday, we will all be in a 5K race/walk in his honor,  donating all to Children's Hospital.</text>
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              <text>When I think of that morning, I see myself as if I was another person, drinking coffee and waiting for my co-worker Ophelia to arrive, sitting outside of the glass doors of the store that we worked in.  Now I know that that's when the first plane hit.  The second plane hit right around the time that we must have been taking the daily deposit to the bank.  I imagine that most people in the building, and out on Boylston Street, must not have known what was happening in New York, because every indication was that it was an ordinary, if especially blue-skied day.

At 10:00, I opened the doors, letting in a technician who had arrived to fix our air conditioner.  I followed him back to the office, leaving my co-worker out on the floor.  I sat down to complete the morning?s paperwork when the phone rang.  This wasn?t unusual, since the management office had a service that dialed our number a few minutes after opening each day, prompting us to enter the previous day?s sales figures.  I started my usual phone greeting, expecting to be cut off by the familiar female voice asking for the store?s pin number.  I was indeed interrupted by a familiar female voice, but she wasn?t automated.  She was real, and the tone in her voice was incredulous.

?You?re still open?,? Alisa said.  She was one of our co-workers, who had the day off.

?Of course, why wouldn?t we be??

?Oh God, you haven?t heard.?

She explained what had happened.  Her anger turned to sadness when she told me that she?d seen the south tower collapse in front of her eyes on every television channel.  In the few months that we had worked together, Alisa and I had become friendly, not in small part due to our mutual love of New York, the city we had grown up around and both thought of as the center of our universe, even if we did live in Boston.  An unspoken understanding passed through those first few exchanges of our conversation.  I immediately felt a grieving love for our city, but also a more specific pain.  My father had rather suddenly retired only a week or so before from an office high up in the tower that now no longer existed.  I don?t think she had remembered that he had worked there, but if she did, it was awfully brave of her to call when the possibility existed that she would be the one to deliver such potentially devastating news to me.

My mind raced.  I thought about my father, and then his only recently former co-workers, some of whom were good friends of his.  When I remembered that Ophelia?s daughter lived in Manhattan, I let Alisa go and rushed back out onto the floor to tell my co-worker to call her daughter immediately.  She told me later that she sincerely thought that I had gone crazy in that back office, because she just knew that what I was saying to her couldn?t possibly be true.

Amazingly, she reached her daughter right away, who had been sleeping far uptown, only vaguely aware of the sirens.  On the other line, I tried to reach my family on Long Island, but got only a fast busy signal.  As soon as I hung up, the phone rang again.  This time, it was Allan, who worked at one of our sister stores in the same building, calling from home to see if we had heard the news.  The voice of a female newscaster on his television in the background announced that two of the flights had originated from Logan Airport.  I immediately felt a brief thankfulness wash over me as I remembered that my fiance, whom I?d earlier left sleeping at home, wasn?t flying that week.

Allan said that there were planes still in the sky, and that there were rumors that other attacks on tall buildings were imminent.  This snapped me back into a professional mode as the person responsible for a workplace in one of the landmark structures of Boston.  I quickly hung up and tried to reach those from whom I?d have to get permission to close early.  I felt the adrenaline rush of the fear of a personally unprecedented kind of unknown.  The receiver shook in my hand as I met either phones that rang unanswered or the same fast busy signal I?d gotten when I?d dialed my family?s number.  In the chaos, it appeared that no one was able or functional enough to give us any direction.

Ophelia and I agreed that we needed to get out of the building as soon as possible.  We ushered our one customer, to whom we had just broken the news, out of the store and locked the doors behind her.  The two of us went to gather our things from the back office, where we nearly knocked the air conditioning technician off of his ladder.  I had forgotten all about him.  When we explained that we were closing the store, he looked at us nonchalantly and said, ?Oh, yeah, I heard about what happened on my way in.  I guess if the building?s closing I can go home then.? Ophelia answered the phone, which was ringing on both lines again with the concerns of other co-workers at home.  I let the technician out and watched him saunter through the corridor as I once again locked the doors.  Everything felt surreal.

I made a last ditch effort to leave notice with someone higher up that we were on our way out.  I was leaving a message on my manager's answering machine when he groggily picked up asking me to explain again why we were going home.  I sped through the now all-too familiar story, now just wanting desperately to get out and on the train home.  I imagine that he was the second person that day to think that I was insane.

As quickly and calmly as we could, we turned out the lights and set the alarm, leaving the store behind us.  (When I came to work the next day, I would amazingly be reprimanded by technical support for not closing down the registers, too.)  We explained to the owner of the store next to us that he should get out, too.  Lights were going out all across the mall as we walked quickly to the front door.  Ophelia and I headed off in opposite directions, sharing a sad hug first, and then hurrying towards our homes.

As I walked towards the T fighting back tears, it felt like people on the street were living in two obviously different worlds.  There were those of us who knew what was going on, and those who obviously hadn?t heard.  I envied them desperately, if only for the brief moments that they would enjoy before they felt the same specific pain in their stomachs that I did.



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              <text>It was my last week on the job as a Detective in the Lewes Police Department.  I was accepting a new job as the head of the Criminal Investigations Unit in another police department and was completing tasks in preparation for the move.  I was on my way to the office when I heard of the
attack on the World Trade Center over my car radio.  I contacted two of the patrol officers via police radio to ascertain if they had heard about the attack.  The three of us met in the office and turned on the television...mere moments before the second plane hit the towers.  

As I watched the towers burning and the people jumping from the towers, a feeling began to grow inside of me and something told me that the towers were going to fall.  As a police officer and a volunteer firefighter, I feared for the safety of my colleagues as they rushed into the towers
to help those trapped inside.  A short time later, the news station reported the attack on the Pentagon, followed shortly thereafter by the report of a fourth plane that crashed in Pennsylvania.  The officers and I stood in disbelief of what was happening.  Then, suddenly the first tower gave way and came crashing to the ground.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I openly wept for my colleagues and the people whose lives were undoubtedly lost.  I stood motionless and glued to the television for the next two hours, watching over and over the replay of the second planes hitting the towers and their ultimate collapse.  

I forced myself to walk away from the television and went to my office.  I turned the radio on so that I could continue to hear the news and tried to focus on my work.  I couldn't focus on anything and sat looking out the window.  I called my fianc? several times throughout the morning to talk to her and we shared the news as we heard updates.  Then, shortly after noon, I heard the Governor of the State of Delaware announcing that a contingent of firefighters, EMS personnel and paramedics from Delaware were being sent to New York City to assist in the search for those who were missing.  With out a second thought, I called the firehouse to see who was going from our company.  I spoke to the Chief, told him to have the guys grab my bunker gear, and I would meet the firefighters at the scheduled rendezvous point for deployment to New York.  I contacted my boss and the City Manager and told them I was going to New York.  I had to ask permission to leave my unmarked cruiser in a neighboring jurisdiction where the firefighters were meeting and without hesitation they granted approval and bid me a safe journey.  

Prior to leaving the office, I called my fianc? and told her I was going to New York and asked her to pack me a bag with enough clothes to last me four or five days.  She started crying and asked me if I was sure I wanted to go.  She knew I wanted to be there and, despite her concern,
she never asked me not to go.  Finally, I called my new boss and told him that I was heading to New York.  I told him that I might not be able to report for my first day on the new job as had been planned.  He was extremely supportive and told me it would be waiting for me when I got
back.  I met my fianc? thirty minutes later on the way to the rendezvous point.  I gave her my service weapons and told her to lock them up at home.  She gave me my gear bag, we hugged each other and said a short prayer.  She kissed me goodbye and then I was gone.  Looking back on it now, I don't know how she managed the drive back home, let alone the wait for my return.  

I drove as fast as I safely could to get to the rendezvous point.  When I arrived, there were over seventy firefighters, EMS personnel, and paramedics, along with twenty-three ambulances ready to go.  Of those making the trip, over 95% of us were volunteers who dropped what we were doing, left our families, and raced to New York to render aid.  We drove the entire distance with our emergency lights on, led and followed by Troopers from the Delaware State Police.  Along the route, people were waving to us, honking their car horns, and flashing their headlights.  Along the way, my mother and my brothers called me on my cell phone; all of them crying.  They
wished me well, told me how proud of me they were, and told me to be safe.  I thanked them for their thoughts, but told them it had nothing to do with pride.  Like so many, I wanted to do something to help and when the opportunity arose, I jumped at the chance without a second thought.  Looking back, I suppose I was somewhat selfish to make those decisions without asking my fianc?, but I just had to go!  The trip took a little more than four hours; during the ride, I used the time to reflect on what I had witnessed earlier that day and tried to mentally
prepare myself for the physical and emotional challenges that would lie ahead.  

When we arrived in New York, we were directed to a staging area to await the arrival of an FBI agent who would take us into Meadowlands Stadium.  The stadium was set up as a staging area for responding emergency personnel.  We parked along the New Jersey Turnpike awaiting our escort.  We climbed out of our ambulances and looked across the Hudson River.  The skyline was lit up with a strange glow and we could see smoke billowing from ground zero, drifting
across Manhattan and the river as far as we could see. 

We stood there in awe and disbelief. 

When the FBI agent arrived, he spoke to the Delaware State Troopers and then escorted our caravan to the entrance of Meadowlands Stadium.  When we arrived, there was another waiting period.  Then without any word, we were told to regroup, climb back into our vehicles, and turn back South on the turnpike.  We thought we were being taken to another location.  However, fifteen minutes into the ride, the organizer of our contingent advised everyone via radio that we were not going to be needed and directed us to head back to Delaware.  Needless to say, we were dumfounded and there were a lot of unanswered questions.  Later, the caravan met at a rest stop on the turnpike where the organizer told us that we had been sent home because the mission had been changed from a rescue to a recovery effort.  We were told that they had so many volunteers firefighter and emergency personnel from neighboring jurisdictions and States that they had to start turning people away.  

I understood, but I was extremely angry.  I wanted to do something, ANYTHING, to feel that we were helping.  I would have stayed there for days, even weeks just to help in some way.  We offered to help with food preparation and shuttling supplies to the rescuers.  But there were so
many people that came out to volunteer, they had to turn people away.  I guess in some ways it was good that they had the volunteers, but I was upset that I wouldn't be one of them.  I guess in many ways I was being selfish, but it was the only way that I felt I could cope with the
devastation.  

It was a very long ride home that night.  On the way to New York, there was a lot of talk among us and several of us talked to others over the EMS radio.  On the way home however, NOBODY said a word.  We rode in silence, listening to the radio for any news updates.  I arrived home around
3am, woke my fianc? to tell her I was home, and sat watching the news replay the day's events.  I finally fell off to sleep around 7am and slept only for a few hours before being awoken by nightmares.  In my mind, I kept seeing the plane hit the tower, people jumping from the building knowing they would not survive, and the towers crumbling.  I thought of the people who died on the airplane in Pennsylvania trying to protect others from being harmed or killed.  And, I thought of my colleagues, none of whom I knew personally, who died trying to save others.  

In the days and months that followed, I gave blood and organized a fund drive to raise monetary donations for the trust fund, but I still felt an emptiness inside.  I talked with my friends who are police officers and firefighters and together we all got through it and we became a whole lot closer.  On the one year anniversary of 9-11, I drove two hours to a blood bank where the Delaware Fraternal Order of Police had organized a blood drive to benefit the blood bank in New York.  Eighty-five police officers came out that day to give blood.  Later in the day, I had a tattoo scribed into my arm to remember and honor the fallen heroes of that day.  I wanted the tattoo so that every day, when I woke up and got into the shower and every night as I prepared for bed, I'd see it and remember what happened.  I'd think of the heroes who gave their lives trying to save others and the loved ones they left behind.  I'd commit myself to making a positive influence in the lives of the people I serve, both as a police officer and a firefighter.  The tattoo depicts the twin towers as the
number eleven in "9-11-2001".  The "9-11-2001" is surrounded by smoke that billows upward.  Rising up out of the smoke is a Phoenix and on it's chest are the emblems of the National Law Enforcement Officer's Memorial and the National Fallen Firefighters Memorial.  Above the emblems the words, "Honoring Our Nations Heroes" is inscribed.  It is a design that I came up with and worked on for several months following 9-11.  In addition, I wrote a poem detailing my thoughts and feelings that followed the tragic events of that day.   

Little did I know how my life and that of my fianc??s would change.  Our son, who is also a volunteer firefighter, is a soldier in the Army and was stationed in Louisiana.  Six months after 9-11, he was deployed to Kuwait where he spent nine months in the desert.  His unit came home in December and we saw him for five days during this past Christmas.  When he returned to base following Christmas, he was unexpectedly re-deployed to Kuwait and is now sitting in
the desert somewhere outside Iraq.  We had not spoken to him in three months, but he called and spoke to us for fifteen minutes on the telephone earlier this week.  While we were elated to hear from him, we still fear for his safety and his safe return.  He told me during the telephone
conversation that he was given a choice to be on the front line or to take a support role further behind the front.  He chose to take the front line so his buddies would be safer in the support role.  Once again, I find myself wanting to do something, ANYTHING!  I'd gladly take his place if they'd let me.  

On behalf of my fianc?, the mother of a United States Soldier, our thoughts and prayers continue to go out to the families who lost loved ones on 9-11.  And, to those serving in our military, we continue to pray for your safe and expeditious return.  God Bless America and it's Heroes! </text>
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              <text>I was at work and sitting at my desk when a friend of mine came to my office door and said a plane just crashed into the World Trade Center.  I was shocked, of course, but at that time I assumed it was another airplane with mechanical problems and it was just a terrible accident.  A few minutes later, the same friend told me that another plane had crashed into another World Trade Center tower.  That was when the entire world realized this was no accident.  I remember feeling such a deeply pervading sense of sadness and shock and I also felt a strong need to talk to my children.  My son, Justin, was living and working near Denver, CO and my daughter, Megan, was a sophomore in college at Black Hills State University in Spearfish, SD.  I talked via telephone with both of these children several times that day.  It was a great comfort to me and also to them.  I also have a son, Owen, who was a sophomore in high school.  I wanted him close to me, too, on that terrible day, but I knew he was O.K. in school.  When he came home, he called me and told me how very disappointed and upset he was due to the fact that their study hall monitor would not allow the high school students to watch any of the events on television that morning.  He was disappointed because he felt he had missed out on seeing a very important part of our country's history-in-the-making because a stubborn teacher wouldn't deviate from the regular school curriculum - not even for this.  It was an extremely unfortunate decision for that teacher to make.

To this day, barely a day goes by when I don't think about the victims of terror on that horrible day.  My family's prayers go out to each and every one of the victims and their surviving families.  I have to say, though, that I  have a special place in my heart for the passengers on the flight that went down in Pennsylvania.  Those men and women are our country's greatest heroes!  God Bless them all and God Bless YOU all!

Mary Jo Mohr</text>
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              <text>September 11th. I was vacationing with my family, and at the current moment we were in the middle of the Thames river taking a tour cruise, viewing all of London's famed waterfront buildings, bridges, and the occasional ship. The time was around 3:00 pm, when people on the tour boat began telling me how sorry they were about what had happened in New York. Now to give you a better idea, I was wearing my usual garb of wrangler jeans, cowboy boots, jean jacket and stetson hat. Also a small Canadian flag imbedded in the middle of the hat, as I am Canadian. After several questions bantered about back and forth, we were able to learn that a plane had crashed into the world trade centre, but that was about all that was known from the people on board the tour boat. Upon returning to our hotel rooms and watching the footage on the t.v. we were just stunned and shocked. To say we were nervous about continuing our vacation on to France was an understatement. But in the end we did, and the people we stayed with made sure we saw all the war cemeteries, the D-Day landing beaches, Dieppe, and most importantly, people who were actually there at the the time, and their own stories. Getting back home was I disappointed in how Canada reacted to the events as they unfolded from then on? Yes. Still am, and feel slightly ashamed for every boneheaded remark that comes from the "superior" uppity people in the more dense population areas. That being said, my country, right.....or wrong. Just my thoughts.</text>
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              <text>September 11, 2001 still stands out in my memory like it was just yesterday. All of the emotions that myself and everyone around me encountered were terrifying. I woke up to the phone ringing with my mother screaming for me to turn on the television. She kept saying, "This isn't good. This can NOT be good!" I didn't even believe what was happening. All I could think was that there was some mistake with all of this. I literally had to pry myself off of the couch and away from the television to go to work. The atmosphere at the Jacksonville Landing was very somber. We gave free food and beverages away all day long. Several bomb threats were reported in the vacinity and eventually we shut down for the day. Every single person's attitude was consoling and loving. I have never seen so many strong, grown adults cry in my life, but it was like we were all feeling the same pain and shock. And the only good thing that had come out of that day was the "togetherness" that the whole world showed.

I have recently visited the World Trade Center Site and was one of the first people to take the Path Train when it reopened. It was exciting, but all I could think of was the lives lost there. It was a very eerie feeling. But at least I can say that whatever is decided to fill that void in the city will more beautiful, more precious and more meaningful than anything that ever stood there to begin with.

My heart goes out to every single person that this tradgedy affected. I pray everyday to never encounter something like this again.

Also to the Military fighting in Iraq. You are so brave. Jesse Gene and the 1484th, I love you!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!</text>
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              <text>When  the   september 11th  attacks  happened   I  couldnt believe  it! I  was sitting  in  my fifth  period  class at  school  and I  looked  up  at  the   tv  and  I  saw  planes crashing into  buildings I  really  didnt  think nothing  of it! I   just   thought  that  it  was  somewhere  else   not so  close  to  martinsburg! I  NEVER thought  that  something  like  that  would  happen  at least  not  here   anyways! Everyone  that  died  in  the 9/11  attacks I  send my  regards  to  their  loved  ones  that  they  left  behind! Thank you   for  your  time!
                                        With  love always
                                           amanda</text>
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              <text>Hello, My name is Robbie Rodriguez of 93.3 WFLS Radio. I'm a graduate of George Mason University.
I remember September 11th like it was yesterday. I was at home in the early morning hours- I prepared my books and completed the final touches to
a report I needed to hand in for a class. At the time I did not have my television on, nor did I turn on my radio. I just jumped in my vehicle to make my way to
the Manassas Campus. I turned on my car radio and tuned into the station I work for. I was shocked to hear what I heard. At first, I felt it was a sick joke. I thought my co-worker was playing a weird story or a bit.
I couldn't believe it. I started running up and down the dial. It was the same story on all the radio stations. I hit the gas, I needed to get to Mason's student lounge. I needed to get to a tv set to confirm these news reports.
I pulled into the parking lot and ran into the building; everyone was crowded around the tv. I was so amazed at what I saw. I was very angry, very sad and confused.
I am a native New Yorker, this attack really hit home. I wanted to do something, but felt helpless.

Being a former United States Marine, I felt a sense of anger and a sense of responsibility to assist my country. I could not believe how this could have happened. How could a group of attackers have taken four planes. Someone was not doing their job.
This can not happen again, we can not let these types of criminal events to occur. We all have to be proactive to combat these types of threats.I now feel a greater passion for what this country stands for. I have a great education. I hold a B.S. in Administration of Justice from GMU, I hope to utilize this education to defend and protect my country.

God bless us all!

Robbie Rodriguez
GMU Alumni 2002
On Air Personality 93.3 WFlS    </text>
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              <text>On the morning of September 11, 2001, I was driving to the middle school where I taught. As I drove up the 215, I was listening to the local Christian radio station that just plays music, no commercials, no news, just good music. As I was getting lost in my thoughts of another day, the D.J. came on between songs and informed us listeners that a plane had struck the WTC. In my mind I was saddened; however, I thought it must be a navigational error.
	As I entered the parking area I heard the D.J. say another plan had hit the towers. I called my wife before I got out of my car and told her ?We, America is under attack!? Being she taught at a later school than I, she had not heard any news of the event. She turned on the television to get the news.
	When I left my car I saw a few other teachers in the parking lot scurrying to their classrooms to get any news they could. I did the same. I turned on the television to see gray smoke pour out of the towers. I was to go on yard duty that morning, but I skipped it to stay in my room and see what was happening.
	Being in a school, we had to make some decisions pretty fast about how we were going to handle this day. Were we going to shield the students and not talk about it, or were we going to face it. Our principal made the decision to face it. Our televisions were on all day. 
	 When my students entered my classroom they were silent as they watched the television. They were greeted with the first tower falling. As the day waned and we watched more and more of the events un-fold, I was looking for the right words to dismiss my students. I ended the day with this:
?Students- welcome to history. Every generation has its photographic memory. My parents can tell you what they were doing when President Kennedy was shot. I remember sitting in front of the television in fifth grade, in Mrs. Paulsen?s room, as we watched the Challenger burst into flames. You, your generation just experienced your moment. You will never forget.?

	When I got home, the conversation was short and heavy. It was so strange to be in a country that was under attack. 
The week and weekend that followed we became media junkies. Our friends came over and we watched CNN and Fox News Channel. We had our computers connected to the internet looking for any type of information. We prayed and hoped for survivors to be found, and we were secretly crushed when no-one was found. 
The day, the weekend, the memory, will never be forgotten.
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              <text>My freshman year had just gotten under way,  and I was settling into my routine when disaster struck. I was unaware that anything had happened until I walked into my second period Biology class. The teacher, Mr. Fevergeon, had a saddened look on his face when he pointed to the television hanging on the wall and told us the news. Everyone seemed to think it was an accident until all of the sudden a second plane hit. Everyone sort of froze and the room fell silent. The teacher told us that this was without a doubt "An act of war." 

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              <text>As I drove to work this morning, the memories of that unforgettable day, came flooding back to me.  I listened to the radio, not my usual station, but one commemorating this Day of Remembrance.  I heard the bagpipes as the procession approached Ground Zero.  I looked at my clock as it counted down the minutes to exact moment one year ago that the first plane hit the World Trade Building.  The tears swelled in my eyes as I observed the one minute of silence. My cell phone rang, I ignored it.  A minute or so later, it rang again.  It was my husband.  He called to say that he was thinking about what had happened last September 11th, and wanted to just tell me that he loves me and that he is grateful to have me in his life.  It reminded me of a cell phone call I had heard about that occurred during these acts of terrorism.  It was a call from a man on one of the planes that crashed.  He spoke with an operator moments before his death, and wanted her to tell his wife that he loved her.  She did.  I was lucky enough to hear it straight from my husband?s own voice this morning.

I received a phone call at 9am the morning of September 11th from my mother-in-law in tears.  ?Go get the kids from school, they?re attacking the United States, turn on the TV.?  I raced to the television and immediately sat down when I saw the smoke pouring out of the World Trade Building.  I called a neighborhood friend and told her to turn on her television.  She and I sat on the phone in silence for a few moments.  The second plane hit.  ?Will you go to the school to pick up Sarah, my car is in the shop?? I asked her.  She replied, ?Absolutely, I?m going to get Paulie too.?  A few minutes later, she showed up with my daughter and hers.  She then left her daughter with me and went to pick up her son from another school.  In the meantime, I sent the two little girls off to play with my 2-year-old son, so I could keep posted on what was happening.  My oldest daughter, 12, was home sick that day, and watched with me.  I had no answers for her. The fear built inside of me as I heard of additional planes still in the air.  Are we at war?  Where will they strike next?  Should I be afraid?  I called my husband who worked as an electrician at a large stadium being built.  By the time I could get a hold of anyone at the stadium, the workers were already being sent home.  My friend showed up with her son, and we continued to watch in horror as we heard reports of the other 2 planes crashing down.  We were holding back the tears for the sake of the children feeling safe, but we were afraid ourselves.  Would they try to hit the Nuclear Power Station just a few miles from our home?  All I wanted was my family near me.  My husband walked in the door, I greeted him with a hug.  I was relieved to have him home. They were all here, and safe.

I called my father who is a Boston Police Officer to see if he had any additional information.  He told me that no one was being allowed in or out of the Police Station for security reasons.  ?I don?t know what is going on, or even what?s going to happen, but I want to tell you that I love you?, I said.  ?I love you too.  It?ll be okay.? He replied.

I spent the rest of the day feeling sad, scared, and overwhelmed.  That night, I tucked my children into bed, kissed them, and savored how sweet they smelled.  I thought of the thousands of parents who lost their children that day, young and old alike.  I thought about the courageous hero?s that gave their life to save others.  I did not know any of these people personally, but at the same time, the loss feels very personal.  I look at the victims of September 11th list of names every so often and look over the photos, details of each of their lives and about the loved ones left behind.  

This morning I left an electric candle glowing in my window.  I will never forget.

I believe that one year ago today we all became one family.    
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            <name>Consent</name>
            <description>Whether September 11 Digital Archive has permission to possess this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="222460">
                <text>full</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="54">
            <name>Posting</name>
            <description>Whether the contributor gave permission to post this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="222461">
                <text>yes</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="55">
            <name>Copyright</name>
            <description>Whether the contributor holds copyright to this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="222462">
                <text>yes</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="56">
            <name>Source</name>
            <description>The source of this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="222463">
                <text>born-digital</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="57">
            <name>Media Type</name>
            <description>The media type of this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="222464">
                <text>story</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="59">
            <name>Created by Author</name>
            <description>Whether the author created this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="222465">
                <text>yes</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="60">
            <name>Described by Author</name>
            <description>Whether the description of this item was submitted by the author.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="222466">
                <text>no</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="61">
            <name>Date Entered</name>
            <description>The date this item was entered into the archive.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="222467">
                <text>2002-10-05</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="62">
            <name>IP Address</name>
            <description>The IP address of the device used to submit the item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="222468">
                <text>199.0.248.38</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
        </elementContainer>
      </elementSet>
    </elementSetContainer>
  </item>
</itemContainer>
