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              <text> I can remember most of what happened that day.  I woke up that morning and started my day, just like any other. I went through the motions and eventually ended up at school like many mornings before. Computer class came and went and I moved on to my math class. 
 We got our assignment and started to work on it when some of the head administrators started walking up and down the hallways. They motioned through the windows that our teacher Mrs. Kampa should come out of the classroom and speak to them.  We all thought it was pretty routine, until we saw her face as she came back into the room. She explained as much as she could to us and then turned on the television. 
 The classroom filled with students buzzing back and forth to one another about what had just happened.  Then there was silence.  The second building was hit. We were shocked. When they fell to the ground, we were silenced with disbelief.  I remember some crying, but I remember the confusion the most.  
 Going through the rest of the day was tough. Teachers were upset, many distraught.  The day seemed to drag on.  When I got home, the news was on.  We sat and watched and waited for my sister to get home.  The reason I say that is because that day was her birthday.  
 When she got home, I hugged her.  She was pretty upset, but we ended up going out to eat for her birthday as a family that night.  On the way to and back from the restaurant, instead of our music, the news was on the radio.  Having been bombarded by the media all day, we shut it off.  Not for the fact that we didn't want to hear, but because we wanted what we had before: a normal family life.  We were not about to let something like this stop our family.  
 That night I said a prayer for my family and the millions of families touched by the tragedy of September 11th.</text>
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              <text>I was an 8th grade Language Arts and Social Studies teacher in Union City, NJ. I was reviewing vocabulary words - can still recall some of those words today - constellation, astronomy - when one of the custodinas came flying into my classroom telling me to put on the television because a plane had just crashed into the World Trade Center. I was one of the few teachers in the building who had a TV that could receive TV signals and not just be used to play videos. I thought to myself, "Finally, someone will hook up all the wires and get this TV working," which I had been begging people to do the past week, but to no avail. Of course, I did not know how trivial that was at the time.

We watched the events, as a class, on TV. I can still remember that a few students were not able to handle what was on TV, so they asked if they could go to room 310 to be with a different teacher. Even after the second plane hit, 
I was still trying to convince myself that it was all just a terrible accident. 

When the students went to lunch, I sat in my room alone and tried to eat my lunch - a roast beef sandwich. I took a few bites before I realized that I could not eat and wanted to be with everyone else in the cafeteria.

Five years later, I am an 8th grade teacher in Fair Lawn, NJ. Today during lunch, I bit into my sandwich - and 
realized that I, once again, had roast beef. 

Tonight I stood in my backyard to view the "Tribute in Light," standing in the same place where I stood five years ago, as I watched how 'life as we knew it' had changed forever.

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              <text>I had dropped off my two children at school and then proceeded on to a local discount store to do some shopping for items that we needed.  At this particular store they have televisions above all the checkouts at the front store.  While doing my shopping everytime I passed by the TV's to see the latest news (they show CNN). At that time they were just reporting the usual everyday news, nothing really of importance. A little while later I looked up again and heard and saw that a plane just hit a building in New York city.  I listened to it for a while and then went back to my shopping.  As I was shopping I remember think to myself, "how can a plane just hit a building"?  Then it hit me I bet it was terrorism.  I finished up my shopping and then left.  In the car going home I turned on the radio to hear more of what was going on.  At this time it was so confusing to figure out what really happened.  When I got home I went inside and turned on the television to get more information of what was happening.  I saw the pictures on TV and just remember how sad I was.  I worried about my kids at school and my husband at work and all those people in New York and at the Pentagon.  I could not get over what was happening.  A little while later the phone rang and the school called telling me that my daughter heard the news of what was happening and got really scared and could I come get her.  I went to get her and the first thing she asked was how was Dad. We are in Ohio and many miles from where all this happened but she was still scared.  I brought her home and let her call her Dad to see that everything was ok.  I also did my best to comfort her and let her know it will be ok.  School was ending and it was time to pick up my son.  He was also scared and could not understand what had all just happened.  We got home and the rest of the afternoon and evening we just watched TV together and tried to make sense of what had happened in our country.  I found it so hard to explain to them what happened, and just to let them know that everything will be ok.  It will take a long time to heal from this tragedy and I just don't think things will ever be like they were.</text>
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              <text>My daughter lives in Northern Ontario&amp; I in Southern Ontario.We talk by phone very rarely as the cost is very high so i was surprised to receive a call from her very early in the morning(she woke me up)Mom she said do you have on the t.v. No I don't I said you woke me up,she was crying and told me to put on the t.v. and that one of the world trade centre towers had been hit by a plane, no way I said you must have a movie on or some-thing, just put it on mom please, by now she was really hysterical so I ran down-stairs put on the t.v. just as the other plane hit, Oh My God i said to her a plane has hit the other tower, by then we both knew that this was not an accident ..My God what have they done I said to her,we stayed on the phone longer than we ever had, both of us watching the t.v. crying and praying..To this day I cry for the lives lost and the familys of the people who died. I have a clip of Enya's world trade centre tribute on my computer and showed it to a friend just 2 weeks ago and we both sat and cried..God Bless all who were affected by this cowardly attack.The police and fire-fighters of New York City were amazing, they walked into hell with-out hesitation.Mayor Rudy a rock. President Bush, amazing, we could use people like them here in Canda.God Bless America and the free world, God Keep us Free..Linda  </text>
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              <text>I wrote the following for my newspaper, La Gaceta, in Tampa on September 12:

"Is everyone all right? Please, someone reply if you are in New York and are all right."

That is it. That mass email I sent to my 20 or so friends and family up north is the only communication I had with anyone in the New York area. 
While those I love were stuck in New York, while those closest to me were prisoners of this horrific crime, all I could do is sit at my desk and stare at my email, hoping that someone would reply, hoping that someone would calm my fears.

I felt hopeless, I felt weak and I felt small and insignificant. How dare I be afraid? How dare I be scared? Here I sit, in my nice comfy air conditioned office staring at the horror on a television while so many I know have to deal with it firsthand, they are living the horror. 

My entire life, these people were always there for me. When I accomplished something great, my friends and family were always there to congratulate me. When I was hurt, when things went wrong, they were always there to lift my spirits with a hug, with a joke or simply by being with me. 

But when they needed me most, when they needed me to hug them and tell them it would be all right, when they needed me to crack a joke and try to bring a smile to their faces during this bleak moment, I was nowhere to be found. I wished I was Superman and could fly to New York in a matter of seconds, blow the cloud of smoke away from the city and search the streets for my friends and family and fly them to safety. But I couldn?t. All I am is a simple writer for a local paper. I?m not Superman, I?m only Clark Kent. I felt like a nobody.

Slowly a few emails started coming in. One was from my friend Mike who said our friend Marc, who takes a train to the World Trade Center everyday, took the day off work in order to close on his house. Another was from my friend Chris? fianc? Kim, who said she spoke to Chris and he was all right. But still, so many of my friends and family were unaccounted for, so many were still lost.

I called my mother and she reassured me that my aunt and uncle were all right, and my cousin, who works across the street from the World Trade Center, overslept so was nowhere near the explosion. It was so hard not to cry, not to want to jump into the phone and hug my mother, and ask her to tell me that everything would be all right, that everyone would be fine.

I ran to the bathroom and could no longer keep my composure. I cried and I cried. I cried for my friends and family who were lucky enough to live through the experience, and I cried for my friends and family whom I had not yet heard from. 

For the rest of the day, all I could think of was everyone I know who is stuck in New York. I could picture them trapped and afraid. I could picture them locked away in their homes, huddled together, afraid and confused, and I grew even more upset. I wanted to be there with them, I wanted to help.

As the evening wore on, the feelings never ceased, until the late news came on and showed some interesting footage of the city from the sky. Despite all the destruction, all the horror and all the pain, the Statue of Liberty stood tall. Despite the best efforts of these terrorists, they were not able to destroy America and they were not able to destroy what we stand for, and I grew angry. Angry that I allowed these a**holes to play with my emotions like this. Angry that I allowed them to scare me, make me feel small and make me feel pathetic. As long as we allow them to do this to us, to make us feel this way, they win. As long as they have affected the way we live and the way we see the world, we allow them to win. I am not pathetic, I not weak and I am someone. I am an American, and that counts for a lot in my eyes.

I am stronger than some cowards who think they can change the world through faceless acts of terror. I am stronger than these cowards who feel the need to destroy life out of jealousy of what we have built here in America.

I refuse to be afraid any more. I refuse to let them win. While everyone else in the media writes that a piece of us died during that terrorist act, I say the opposite. I never say the glass is half empty, I have always said that the glass is half full. So on this day I do not say a piece of me is dead, but much of me is alive. 

A few of my friends are still missing ? guys I went to college and high school with, girls I had childhood crushes on. Some of the news will be good and some will undoubtedly be bad, but no matter what the future may hold, I know I can find comfort in the fact that America is alive and all that we stand for will continue to live forever.
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              <text>   I was enroute to my job at Mayport Lanes listening to the Lex and Terry radio show on Rock 105, Jacksonville, Florida when they made a comment about seeing an aircraft crash into one of the World Trade Center Buildings. They became deadly serious and told everyone listening to please stand by as something serious is happening to the World Trade Center buildings in New York.
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              <text>As I watched the scene unfolding via media, I grabbed my pen and began to write.  This is what I saw and felt!

~ MANHATTAN TWIN TOWERS ~

Without a warning, missiles in the form of American planes:
Come crashing into targets that are filled with innocent human beings!
Both ~ as passengers headed for the impact of death,
And as the receivers scream and take their last breath!
Steel, concrete &amp; marble explode becoming smaller deadly weapons:
Killing and wounding the working people of our nation!
Postal trucks melt into the street,
As throngs of people race away from the fiery ball and heat!
Twice 110 stories come crashing down in a flaming ball of fire:
As smoke bellows up into the sky, reaching higher and higher!
How is it that such evil is released?
What will it take for hatred to be ceased?
Almighty God who watches over this nation,
let your healing flow into this generation;
That witnessed the destruction and rampage of the enemy.
Give our leaders your supernatural wisdom
As they gather together with a plan of retaliation!
We are your people and your hand will keep us free!
As shock floods the hearts of people throughout the world,
The TV shows a man holding a rag-doll that belonged to a little girl!
A woman reporter saved by a fireman who had her kick off her heels,
tells us how he slammed her to a wall,covered her with his body and it was his heartbeat she then feels!
Thousands are dead, body parts cover the street!
Wives, husbands, and children now suffer in what is unbelievable defeat!
Their very hearts are breaking and filled with pain unspeakable!
Within their minds sinks what seems so unbelievable!
While tears flow from my eyes, I stop to realize:
That the little personal wars the enemy brings into my life, are trivial!
Lord, I place them in your hand.
I ask that you heal my heart, as you heal the hearts of this land.
In the spiritual realm, there is always war!
Fought against the darkness and evil principalities~
I listen to hear your voice. I stand in the gap for peace.
Tender, merciful God, in reverence of you, I bend my knees!
 AMEN

Copyright ?2001 DeLayne Perry
Jeremiah291396@netzero.net
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The following weeks, as people searched through the demolition, I would weep and pray for those hurting families.  The following poem is the result:

CHANGES OVER ME!
~Because of September 11, 2001~

September 11th - I watched as I cried.. 
I grew angry at the enemy that knotted my stomache up inside. 
Suddenly, I heard myself scream - 
realizing all those innocent people died! 
Children, little children taken away by hatred 
that made their tiny hearts stop their beat... 
Evil is the cold heart 
of the one in charge of stilling those little feet! 
A hunter and a baby killer is the one sitting in the seat, 
that passed the orders of events to destroy America's streets! 
As days passed by, my anger changed to sad and compassionate tears:
For all the broken hearted ones that lost those that were dear.
Today, I am more aware of the things I say and do. 
I am proud to be an American and I love the red, white and blue! 
Prayers around the world are being sent 
All because of this horrific event! 
Wake up everyone, God sees the hearts of man
And He has a plan! Amen!

Copyright ?2002 DeLayne Victoria Perry 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
What I think and feel about Bin Laden:

CONCEIVED AND DELIVERED! 9-11-2001

~ Seed From a Darkened Heart~
***Spawned out of Evil***
Warfare springs into the mind of a man; 
Words are spoken. Evil has a plan. 
Out is the seed manifested on earth! 
It takes time, then comes the birth.. 
Of hatred and sorrow conceived in a mind 
that grew twisted and burrowed by pleasure entwined - 
with a heart that is blackened by a tape to rewind......
going back to a child that was raised in the blind 
about love and peace, that it never will find. 
The plot of murder has been unleashed 
with demons that fly in disguise for the beast. 
To what kind of a spirit has this soul been sold 
that derives satisfaction, breathing in a pit so cold.. 
so cold - that even his eyes are deep black, 
and the blood in his heart pumps words that attack... 
screaming within his veins run lies so deceived 
calling out to a God they have never known!
While this atrocity in his heart was conceived! 
This enemy will reap what he has sown!

Copyright ?2002 DeLayne Victoria Perry 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
What I believe took place in the spiritual realm:

~SPIRITUAL WARFARE~
~Angels Battled~

In the heavenly realm~ a cold war took place
On September 11th~ a day we can't erase
As good against evil angelic spirits battled
Americans became shattered and rattled
As angels wings fought, there were clashes
From the air to the ground came ashes
Darkness and Light filled the skies
Both in heaven and hell were many cries
As airplanes were aimed into buildings tall
And victims were made to be part of the fall
Down to the ground came mighty towers
In seconds, minutes and agonizing hours
What will happen as our people realize
There's an enemy that strikes with surprise?
As the manifestation took place on the earth
In spiritual realm, the war had been birthed!
Will Americans humble themselves and pray
Turning to God and seeking His face?
This awakening period is a must... As we
remember our motto "In God We Trust!"

Copyright ?2002 DeLayne Victoria Perry 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY!















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              <text>I was at work in a county office building when I head the news.  The only thing I could think of was getting home to my not even one year old son.  The usual commute to my office from my home was ten minutes if that and when we were released from the building early it took almost 45 minutes to get home.  My sons birthday is on the 23rd of September.  I went from a happy mother planning a one year old party to a mother who started to worry about her child's future.  I just remember thinking why couldnt my son get past his first birthday without having to worry about war.  This changed my whole life.  This is a tragedy that hit very close to home for me.  It made me think that it CAN happen to us.  I remember hearing stories and chatter in the office before leaving about how someone's husband was supposed to be in New York that day at the World Trade Center but decided not to go.  Its things like this that you here that makes you wonder why are some spared in a coincidence like that one.  I did not know anyone personally involved but this incident touched me like nothing else before and it even took me awhile to get over it.  All I wanted to do was hold my son forever and help those who were in need.  I recently saw a poll on CNN.com that was asking should September 11th be a national memorial day.  And surprisely most people said no because it is a reminder of terror.  I voted yes because it reminds us that this has happened right hear in the U.S.  and when I saw all the flags flying the day after the attacks I had a sense of a nation that can really come together in a time like this.  I felt uniformed with the entire nation.  You dont see things like this in every day life.  It seems everyone is out for themselves all the time.  But when I realized how many people were remembering that day, I felt that all Americans were working together instead of against each other.  So to me this day is a reminder of faith in the nation and that when times get tough we can be there for each other and we will take the time to remeber all of those innocent people who lost there lives just because of some coincidence that left them in the situation without choice.</text>
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              <text>I had just gotten up and was getting ready for the day when my phone rang and it was my mom on the phone.  She said "Turn on CNN".  I did and I all I could see was a huge building which I thought had just caught fire. I asked my mom "Where is that?" That's when she told me and I heard the announcer at the same time say "NYC The World Trade Center".  I couldn't believe it.  All I could do was stand there and cry after I found out what really happened;even though I didn't know anyone that was in the building.  I kept asking myself "how can someone have so much hate in them to do this?"

Then of course my thoughts went to my, at the time, unborn son.  I was 4 1/2 months pregnant at the time.  I kept thinking "my son will never get to see the Towers standing. 

Still to this day it still brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about it and what the victims and their families as well as all the rescue workers and firemen had to be feeling that day.  My prayers go out to all of you.  God Bless America. </text>
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              <text>I was on vacation with my family. On that day we went for a walk on a sunny afternoon. When we came back to our rented appartment I turned on the radio. I couldn't believe what I heard, and turned on the TV. Every channel showed the terrible attacks. The towers were already collapsed. I have especially fond feeling for New York City. I married my wife there in 1995, and travelled there in 1998 and 1999. Every time I went to the Windows of the World to enjoy the spectacular view. We visited New York again in June 2002. It was so sad to see Ground Zero.</text>
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              <text>I work for Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield, which was located in the North Tower at the World Trade Center.  Though I was not there on 9/11/01, I had written the account below for a departmental archive.

Tuesday, 9/11/01 

I was up at 6:30 AM.  The breakout sessions for the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association Contact Center Conference, being held in Westminster, Colorado, would be starting at 9:00. Learning my lesson from the day before, I wanted to get an early start so I could stake my claim at the breakfast buffet before the hoards of attendees ravished the spread.

My hotel room had a breathtaking view of the Rocky Mountains, and I couldn?t help but gaze from my balcony at the majestic backdrop these mountains provided at this early hour.  I had spent some time hiking and camping in these very same mountains back in the day, when I drove out with my friend Warren, who was starting college at the University of Boulder that fall.   I remembered waking up one morning and all around our campsite were deer, carefully walking about looking for food.  I scrambled for a camera, but the deer quickly departed before I could take a picture.  

As I recalled this until-then forgotten memory, I was thinking that the world is a beautiful place.  Sure, there were problems and injustices, but just then looking at this amazing scene, all which seemed insignificant.  I pulled myself away from the balcony and took a shower.  

As I was toweling off, I heard my phone ring.  ?It?s very early to be getting a call?, I thought as I made my way to the phone. My wife Mary Ann was on the line.  She frantically told me that something happened at the World Trade Center, some type of explosion or fire.  I immediately turned on the television and switched to CNN.  When I saw the North Tower engulfed in flames, it seemed surreal, like a scene from some bad ?70?s disaster movie.  I couldn?t find any words to say.  Immediately, I thought of my co-workers.   I started to panic.  They were located primarily on the 30th floor.  The flames seemed to be towards the top of the tower, but looking at the TV, I couldn?t tell how near or far the 30th floor was to the fire.  At that moment, I saw something traveling towards the South Tower and exploding.  At first I was confused ? maybe they were replaying the video from the first explosion.  It was then that it was discovered that not one, but two planes had crashed into the towers.  It didn?t seem possible that two planes could mistakenly crash into these buildings.  The news then indicated that a third plane had crashed into the Pentagon and a fourth had crashed somewhere in Pennsylvania.

?We?re under attack? I finally managed to say. 
?Thank God you?re over there? Mary Ann kept repeating.  

Things at the school where she teaches were starting to get crazy.  Frightened parents were showing up wanting to pull their kids out of school, kids who had parents at the World Trade Center were frantic and needed support, so she had to get off the phone.  

?Thank God you?re over there?? That sentence really made its impact after I hung up the phone.  If it were not for a last-minute decision by management to send me to this conference, I would have been there.   Again, my thoughts went out to my co-workers.  ?Did everyone get out safely??  That question was running through my mind the whole time I sat and watched the Towers burning.  It then occurred to me that my family didn?t know I was on this trip, and would probably think that I was at work.  I tried calling my mother, but the lines into New York were busy.  I called my father who lives in Pennsylvania.  

?Dad, I?m OK.  I?m in Colorado on business?.
?Oh my God! Thank God you?re over there?, he said.

I asked him to try and call mom and my sisters to let them know.  It was then I realized that my sister Ginny lives in Battery Park City, which is right near the World Trade Center.

?Ginny is OK? my father said.  ?She was at work in midtown.  She?s with your mom.? Ginny?s husband Rich was out of town.   He also told me that Kim, my other sister, was in Delaware on business.

My father works for a company that is based in Loveland, Colorado.  He said if I needed anything to contact them right away.  

I then spent the rest of the day watching the around-the-clock news coverage and making phone calls, trying to get a hold of anyone at Empire that could tell me what was going on.  My calls to Albany went unanswered.  I left a rambling Phonemail message for John in our Melville office, asking him if he had any news, then forgetting to leave him my number at the hotel.   My cell phone, besides getting poor reception, was unreachable due to it having a NYC area code.  There was no reaching any number in the city or the boroughs.

I never felt so helpless in my life.  ?If only I was there, maybe I could have helped somebody out?, was a thought that was in my mind constantly.  But another, more distressing thought that would not desist was, ?Why was I spared??   This thought is the one that tortured me.  The guilt I was feeling was so deep I thought I would succumb to its depths.  For some strange reason, I had it in my mind that if I just stayed glued to the television set, that that would somehow insure the safety of not only my co-workers, but also the other occupants of the buildings.  This thinking began to change when the coverage of the attack started showing people, faced with the ferocious heat and smoke from the burning fire, choosing instead to jump to their death. 

 My feelings were a virtual mish-mash of incredulity, horror, revulsion, sadness, anger and guilt.  The guilt intensified the more I watched these horrible scenes.  The fact that I couldn?t reach anyone in Empire made things even worse.   I had absolutely no idea what had befallen the people I had worked with for the past two and a half years.  I kept telling myself,  ?They were low enough in the tower; they would certainly have been able to get out?.

It was about this time that the South Tower came crashing down.  Now I was numb.  ?How could this be happening?? I was asking myself.  I tried to comprehend the impact such a collapse would have, and I started crying.  It was just too overwhelming.  I fell to my knees and started praying to God that He would be merciful, that most of the people were not at work yet when the planes first crashed, and that whoever was there was able to get out safely.  I knew this was fantasy, however, I needed to hold on to this thought for my own sanity.

Eventually, I could not stay in my room any longer. After I had watched the North Tower fall for what seemed like fifty times, I ventured outside to get something to eat.  It was purely out of habit, simply a reason to get out of my room.  I ended up leaving half of my lunch uneaten.  

I went back to the hotel and ran into some of the other conference attendees.  The workshops had been cancelled, so many of the people were just milling around the lobby.  They knew I was from Empire, and also knew that Empire was located at the World Trade Center, so they were very concerned and asked if I knew anything.  Their words seemed slowed and garbled, but somehow I understood what they were asking.  I told them I had been unsuccessful in contacting anyone from another office for news.  They were sympathetic, but I didn?t want to be around any other people.  I hurriedly excused myself and sought out a nearby payphone to continue my contact attempts.

I finally got a hold of Ina in our Albany office.

?Ina, can you tell me what?s going on?? I practically screamed.  It was 4:00 MST.

?OK, OK, everyone in Mike?s shop is accounted for?.  

I started rattling off names ? Joe, Art, Brendan, Tony, Paul, Jackie, Shalom?the list went on and on.  Ina very patiently told me that they were all OK.

I started to breathe a little easier.  ?What about the rest of the company?  Is anyone else missing??

?Well, there are still some people who haven?t checked in yet.  We have a toll-free number set up for this, and a group of CSR?s who are calling employees to make sure they?re safe?.

Seeing people leaping to their death was heavy enough ? now this news hit much closer to home.  I didn?t know what to say.

?You still there?? she asked.

?Yeah?.

Ina told me not to worry, that people had been calling in all day, and that the missing list was shrinking by the hour.  I thanked her and hung up.  Knowing that my co-workers were safe gave was a relief, but I still felt shitty twenty different ways.  The ever-present guilt was gnawing away at me.


Wednesday, 9/12/01

I don?t know how, but I made it through the night.  I woke up the next morning; the conference was officially over and I was supposed to be flying back to New York that afternoon.  However, all the airports in the United States were closed indefinitely.  The governor of Colorado held a press conference and stated that Denver International may not be open until Saturday at the earliest.  

Saturday???  There was absolutely no way I was going to wait around until then.  I felt the undeniable need to get back to New York as soon as possible.  I asked Mary Ann if she could get any information from Amtrak.  She waited on the phone for almost an hour before she hung up in exasperation.  It was at that moment when I decided I was going to take the rental car and drive back.  I had made the drive before when I helped Warren move out to Boulder, and my father had made this trek numerous times for work. 

I called Avis and told them that instead of returning the car that day at DIA, I would be returning it in New York.  The agent didn?t sound surprised at all, but she informed me that all the bridges and tunnels into New York had been closed.  

?I?ll worry about that when I get there? I said.

I called Mary Ann and told her my plans.  She was not thrilled with the idea of me driving 2000-plus miles by myself.  Additionally, she was torn between her wanting me with her, and wanting me to be safe by staying in Colorado.  However, when she heard that I had made up my mind to return, she didn?t fight me.

I packed my suitcase and was exiting the elevator when I ran into the same two attendees I had seen the day before.  They saw my suitcase and asked how I was getting back.

?I?m taking my rental and driving?.

?By yourself?? they asked in unison.

I couldn?t understand why people thought this was such a strange idea.  It seemed perfectly reasonable to me.  I had the radio to keep me company, and I would stop for coffee if I felt myself getting drowsy.  Simple.

The driving was actually very therapeutic.  After feeling so damn helpless for the last 24 hours, I finally felt that I had some modicum of control.

The whole way back I listened to the local National Public Radio station.  They were covering all the news conferences and were providing updates 24 hours.  I was struck by the patriotism I saw driving cross-country.  It was then I realized that this attack had affected everyone in the nation.  


I still grapple to this day with the guilt I felt last 9/11 at not being at the World Trade Center, especially when I see that some of my co-workers are still living the nightmare.  I keep telling myself that things happen for a reason.  It was not my fault I wasn?t there.  I have no control over these things.  Most of the time it helps, sometimes it doesn?t.   It seems harder to accept now that the anniversary of the attack is upon us.  It seems to have kicked up a lot of feelings that I had thought were resolved.  Hopefully, with time and by sharing with others, I will be able to finally come to terms with this guilt, and perhaps come to know the reason why I was not supposed to be there that fateful day.
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              <text>The Devastation of the United States Nation

The devastation of the United States nationOften makes me wonder about God`s creation.The plane crashes of the World Trades Centers, Pentagon,And a plane that landed in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.We have no understanding where these planes were landing,And why thousands of Americans are not still standing.We now have a hole in the earth for which we can`t place any dirt.As I sit here and cry it is like I actually died,But my soul is still yet alive.When, what, where, and how the hell was this nation burned to damnation?When I think about the planes that never made it to their final destinations
Because of a complication I begin to wonder about the situations the families of the
Americans who were killed in the plane crashes feel about this terrible deal.No one will ever understand why a clan of men did this terrible act out of indecency.In my last words of this poem I will say to each and everyone around the world, from nation to nation, from heart to heart, and to Blacks, Whites, Arabs, Chinese, Japanese, Iranians, Indians, Mexicans, and to people of all races we must take a stand and stop hurting each other. Love your neighbor. Our sisters and brothers died in that plane crash. They may have not been blood related, but in Christ eyes we are all sisters in brothers. So, take a stand and hold each others hands and tell each other how much you love each other. There is no love like God`s love. "Love Your Brother and Sister, don`t Hurt Your Brother and Sister."</text>
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              <text>     September eleventh must have been one of he most horrific days this country has ever experienced.  Everybody at school was talking about what was going on, but nobody really new what happened.  One person would say, "One plane hit both World Trade Towers, one hit the Pentagon, and one is flying around!"  Another person would say, "One hit Tower 1, one hit Tower 2 and one might hit the Pentagon!"  The teachers wouldn't turn on the television and watch what happened while we were there; but, then, they would leave when we left class to go watch it.  It was a very confusing day until the pricapal came on the intercom and told us the true story. 
     As soon as I got home I ran upstairs , dropped my stuff (not caring where it landed), and ran to the television where my dad was sitting and watching the news.  I saw the same pictures over and over.  I saw the planes hitting the towers, people covered in blood and dust, both towers crumbling, and people being carried away in stretchers.  The real shocker was watching people in another country celebrating with parades, laughing, and holding up signs.  I felt sad and mad at the same time.
     My life changed after September eleventh attacks.  I feel like the country is more vulnerable than I had thought.  I also feel bad for the innocent victims and the firefighters who died on September eleventh.
     In some ways, my life didn't change.  I didn't lose anyone in my family on September eleventh (about which I feel very lucky).  My life didn't change because I carried on my life like normal.
     September 11, 2002 should be remembered for years to come.  When terrorist come and kill thousands of people of all different nationalities, you can't just blow it off.  You should remember the firefighters, officers, and people who  risked their lives for others.  The people lost on the crashed flight in Pennsylvania should also be remembered for their bravery.  They risked their lives to stop the killing of many more.  We should remember those who were in the World Trade Towers and lived for all they went through.  The workers in the Pentagon should be remembered.  We should also remember the people on the planes who died on September eleventh. 
     This story tells how I witnessed September eleventh.  It tells how my life changed and did not change, and what should be rememberedabout that day.  September 11, 2002 was a sad day in American history and maybe in the history of other countries.  It should be remembered for years to come.
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              <text>September 11th, 2001 was a day that started much like any other for me. I live in Los Angeles so the day and barely begun when I first heard the news that something terrible had happened in New York.  It was somewhere between 6:45 and 7:00 AM and I was on my drive to work.  I was listening to the Howard Stern show and the members of the show were explaining that the World Trade Center was on fire.  There was a tremendous amount of confusion and very little information was available at the time.  My first reaction was that this was some type of radio show "bit".  I turned the channels to see what the local Los Angeles DJ's were saying.  To my surprise, there was no mention of the events that were unfolding in New York.  It must be a prank I thought to myself.  If this was some type of joke it certainly wasn't funny.  I continued flipping through the channels and finally the news started to break on our local stations.  This was no joke, it was an act of terrorism.

I was almost at work by this time so I continued on my morning drive to the office.  Upon arriving, I turned on the radio and continued to listen to the tragic events of the day.  I quickly phoned my wife who worked at USC University Hospital at the time.  She was still at home with my daughter and had been watching the towers burn on television.  The hospital and my daughter's daycare facility were located fairly close to downtown Los Angeles and we were both afraid of some type of attack on our city as well.  We both figured that it would be much safer to stay at home that day.  Along with everybody else in the world, we were glued to the television that night.  Even today, it's hard to believe what happened and to come to terms with the grief suffered by those who lost loved ones. I've been to Manhattan on several occasions but never since Sept 11,2001.  I sometimes wonder if visiting would be therapeutic in some way.   

So why am I sitting here typing this letter more than 2 years later?  I was very fortunate that I didn't personally know anybody that perished on that day but 9/11 has still changed my world forever.  I think that in some way it's changed all of us.  We are constantly reminded whenever we go to the airport but it's sometimes much more subtle.

Yesterday I took my daughter and my son, who wasn't born at the time of the attacks, to Disneyland.  As I sat waiting for my daughter to come off one of the rides with her uncle, I started to think about were I was.  I'm sitting at Disneyland, the self proclaimed "Happiest Place on Earth".  Than I began to worry a little bit.  Would terrorists attack Disneyland as a symbolic gesture against America.  Are we safe here?  The sad truth is that our country lost so much on that day and we will never be the same.  We lost our innocence and I don't think that we will ever be able to get it back.  Fortunately, we gained something as well.  The actions of the people in New York were an inspiration to us all.  Amid the loss, buried beneath the ruble, we rediscovered American pride.  We must never forget those that were murdered that day and the families that had their worlds changed forever.
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              <text>I feel as though I were chosen to witness history on September 11th, because this was my first trip to New York, and I was there just long enough to witness the tragedy unfold.  I originally went to visit a friend, and I arrived in town on Saturday, the 8th.  I remember looking out the plane window at the towers.  Of course at the time, my attention was not directly on them.  For me and everyone else in New York, they were just there as they had been for decades.  
   My friend had to return to work at the start of the week, so I spent Monday night in a hotel in Manhattan.  My flight was to leave the next day, Tuesday, a few hours after my noon checkout time.  September 11th arrived and caught me by surprise.  About ten minutes to 9:00 a.m., I was awakened by a squad of sirens rolling down the streets below.  I got up and went to the bathroom, and noticed more sirens rushing by, honking and chirping with an ominous urgency.  I ran to the window and pulled open the shades.  There was a thick, solid black plume of smoke drifting across the skyline, and I traced it back until it disappeared around the other side of my hotel.  Whatever was burning was big, and somewhere behind my field of vision.
   I ran to the elevators, out the lobby and into the streets where I met dozens of people crowding in the streets, crying and dialing cell phones.  Not being a native New Yorker, I didn't speak just yet to anyone, but rather listened as I speed walked around the hotel facade.
Talk was of a horrible accident.  Something about a plane hitting tower 1 of the trade center.  As I rounded the corner, I saw a horrific sight.  Two monolith grey towers standing guard over the city, and one of them had been mortally wounded, very high up.  People said it just happened.  I didn't hear a boom, so I was totally lost.  But the reality was, one of the famous twin towers was on fire, bad.  I walked closer slowly, hoping to see a better view of things.  More fire vehicles and now FBI cars were flying down the street.  I wished I could call someone back home in Houston, but I had no phone.  
   Just as that thought occurred, I looked back up at the burning tower right as another plane flew in at full throttle.  I heard the fans on the engines growling up with thrust right before it struck the second tower.  There was silence, and then a loud boom!  Bright orange flame spewed horizontally from the tower's midsection, and a rain of burning debris fell for blocks around, mostly to the right of where I was.  I was now in total panic, and I went into a numb state.  It was so strange looking.  So big, so intense.  The air began to reek of kerosene, and I started having difficulty moving around in the crowd of onlookers.
I felt chaos around me for the first time ever.  I watched and watched as the fire progressed, and then a huge shifting of steel caught the attention of everyone in the area.  Then a gradual rumble followed, and got louder.  The bass was too loud for any stereo to reproduce.  Tower 2 disappeared into a mushroom cloud of grey and black smoke.  Everyone ran, so I ran too.  Not sure where, just running with the flow.  Eventually, we stopped, and someone in a jogging suit shoved me into a clothing store with a bunch of others.  Fortunately, the debris cloud slowed down by the time it reached the store.  It seemed a lot closer when you were looking at the towers.  Everyone went back outside to watch, including me, and after a good while, the second tower (tower 1) fell, fanning out a mushroom cloud of dust and debris.  I figured if the first wave missed us, the second wave wouldn't.  But fortunately, the wind was in our favor, and most of the thick debris didn't make it to where I was.  Needless to say, I didn't get to fly home that day, but my friend allowed me to stay with him for another three days.  There were so many things that could have kept me from seeing the events of 9/11, but fate chose me among many others to witness this generation's Pearl Harbor.</text>
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              <text>I remember arriving to the church where I work as a secretary.  It was almost immediately after arriving I began to receive numerous calls on the twin towers disaster.  Our pastor was conducting a funeral, ironically, of a member, a pillar, of our church.  When he arrived to the church he immediatley hooked a television set up so we may watch the events taking place.

My mother called me and choking back tears asked me if I had heard.  

I cried and prayed that day off an on all day.  I prayed for those who lost their lives, their families, our country, our president and for those who did these terrible things.

Our pastor left the church open all day and evening for those who wanted to come for solice and to pray. 

Upon arriving home that afternoon, my husband, daughter and I gathered in the livingroom and began to talk about the events.  As many teens, she had questions and we tried to answer them as best we knew how.  We told her to pray for all that were involved and to remember that in that morning time all those victims got up just like we did and went to their normal routines, but never got to come home.

We prayed that they were in heaven, a better place and that someday they would see their families again there.

A year has gone by and still the events are so clear as if they happened yesterday.  My heart still breaks and my prayers still go for those who lost their lives, their loved ones, this country, our president and those who did these terrible things.</text>
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              <text>I went to work the same way I always did.  My friend Luisa dropped me and her brother in law, Sergio, off on Liberty St &amp; West St.  I walked Sergio to Tower II, and then continued on to my building.  Normally I walk past my building to stop and get coffee, but for some reason I walked right in.  I was at my desk by 7:30 AM.  My friend Dennis called me about 8:15 (very unusual, he usually doesn't call untill 11:00am)and for some reason I couldn't get him off the phone.  I kept saying, "let me go, I need my coffee", but he just kept talking.  All of a sudden we heard the first plane hit.  Dennis worked on the 6th flr and I on the 13th.  I asked him what that noise was.  He said, it's an explosion, get out of the building.  I turned to the windows and saw balls of fire and debris.  I grabbed my bag and went outside.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  I ran to the side of my building to use the payphone.  I called Sergios wife and sister in law to see if anyone heard from him.  At that point no one knew anything.  I ran back to West St and watched the tower burning.  We were standing in the middle of West St looking up when all of a sudden we heard the second plane fly over, swing around, and fly right into Tower II.  There was no doubt this was an act of terrorism.  As we were watching the buildings burn we saw people standing at the window frames waving hankerchiefs.  I felt like I wanted to help them, but I couldn't.  One by one I watched them fall.  It was horrifying.  I tried then to get to a phone to call my husband.  I had to keep walking north to find a phone.  Finally the kind people that owned a photoshop let us use the phone.  I spoke to someone who works with my husband, but I couldn't speak to him personally.  While walking through the streets to try and find my friends and coworkers, I witnessed terrible sights.
Something made me stay.  People were running North, but I kept walking South.  When the first Tower fell I just stood there in disbelief.  Others ran past me.  It was like I was in a bubble.  Days later a friend asked me what it sounded like when the towers came down?  My answer, "Silence".  Finally about 12:00 I decided to walk North.  I was heading for another Verizon Office on Varick St.  As I walked up a side street I heard someone calling my name.  It was a coworker of mine, she had been injured, trampled by people fleeing.  She was sitting at a trucking garage and said the people would let me use the phone.  They were very kind and gave me water and a private office to call my husband in.  I finally got him. My husband Tony told me the only bridge open to pedestrians at that point was the 59th St Bridge.  He works in Queens, so that's when I decided what to do.  I walked my friend to the Varick st office.  We both made calls to our families.  She said she wanted to stay and sit it out.  I was focused on getting to Tony.  I began my walk with so many others, all with the same goal. I finally made the 3 mile walk (in heels) to Queens.  When I got over the Bridge, this woman I met called him on her cell phone and told him where to find me. When I saw his car I jumped into his arms and we cried.
We still did not know if our friend and neighbor Sergio was safe.  We got home and along with Sergios family, sat outside and waited.  About 8pm we turned and saw Sergio walking up the street.  We all ran to him and hugged and kissed him.
Now it's 12 months later.  I haven't forgotten a thing about 9/11/01.  Evrything is clear in my mind.  I am sure it is something I will never forget.
My office has been relocated to Brooklyn.  I want to go back to the West St office.  She stood tall for us, while other buildings were coming down around us.  I need to be there too.
I feel if we don't live our lives as we once did; it means they won!</text>
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              <text>     I was in the comfort of my home.  I had just sent my 13 year old son, Eric , off to school.  I was extra tried that morning so I decided to try to catch some sleep but could not.  I then got up form bed and turned on Good Morning America adn sat back to watch it for a short time.  It was just after the first plane hit and Ihad thohgt that a it was an accident.  Was it plane trouble, had the plane been driven in the wrong dierection?  Those were the thoughts that wnet though my head .... never did the thought of terorism come to me.  Not here, not in my country, I was safe and those that I share this land with were too!  As I watched and felt the grief of those people in the tower and in the plane, the second plane hit and then it was reproted about the other two planes.  We had been attacked ... it was crystal clear at that point.  the first thing I wanted was my son and my daughter, Courtney who was at her university on the other side of the state,  at home so that I could protect them.  The feeling I had next surprised me more than anything, I wanted my mother.  She is no longer alive but I needed her.  The overwelming need for her comfort was still there and I now understand  that bond a mother has with her child more than ever now.   Next, I thought of my sister who would have been flying that day into Baltimore/Washington Airport.  I called my brother-in-law to check to see where she was and he did not even know of the horror that was going on that morning.  I was thankful to hear that my sister was safe would not be on a plane that day after all.  I also had fearful thoughts for my niece who is a missionary in the Middle East.  I am still concerned for her.  About then I decide that I was not going to "grab" my childern and huddle in a corner scared to do anything.  I am not going to change my life, I will not let them win.  I thought and still do feel that the best way of fighting back is to go on happy and enjoying life and being thankful and proud to be an American!   All during this time I said countless prays, for my family, friends, the nation, the world.  I continue to do so today, praying that we can be safe and free.       </text>
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              <text>I remember the Principal coming on after the first plane hit saying not to panic and to go on with normal activities, and none of us had any idea what he was talking about, seeing as we had been ther since 7 that morning.  My director went in her office to turn on the news to find out what was going on.  She came back and asked us all to sit down in a circle so she could give us an update and at about that time the second plane hit the south tower.  I remember feeling totally confused about the whole thing because no one really knew what was going on.  When we it was time to change we turned the radio on the news stations so we could find out accurate information.  We knew it was terrorists and we knew it was an attack on the united states.  
What infuriated me was not being able or allowed to watch TV.  We had to go on with the day as if it was "normal."  Teachers had to pretend that didn't want to watch it and students remained clueless and uninformed.  That day was historic, important, and emotional, yet we weren't able to watch it happen through the TV.  We pretended like everything was ok but it wasn't.
That afternoon I came home to find my mom croutched by the TV with tears running down her face.  I finally got to see the footage of the planes destroying the towers and the debri and the horrified people running for their lives.  It was important to me to be able to see that and know what had happened and how it had happened.  
Since that day I have been amazed to see the patriotism and brotherly love American's have come to display.  NOthing has ever brought this nation closer in my life time, and I'm so fortunate to have not lost a family member or friend, but I feel we have all lost something.  We lost our since of security and we lost fellow citizens, however we gained back the proud spirit of America that was lost among the generations.
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