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              <text>I was at home when it happend..my mom asked me to turn on my tv in my room.So I did and it was just on like every channel...at first i was confused until i relized what was going on and it really scared me...then i relized how many people died and i was so devastated...right away i begin worry about my family and friends hoping to god that they were ok....and then i called my friend and she was already crying..we just dont understand why people have to hurt other people it really depressed us!!!</text>
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              <text>yes it has..i am now more catious about other people...and i now dont trust anybody anymore....and i am a lot more scared of my life now!!!</text>
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              <text> I think how everyone was so loving at that time i think they should always be that way!!!all the heros that died saving others....and how on that day we became stronger</text>
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              <text>no i didn't....my feelings about it r still pretty much the same but now i wear like shirts with flags on emm...</text>
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              <text>  I witnessed history by watching the towers go down on t.v.  I got more information about how tragic this was by hearing from my cousin, who works at the World Trade Center, but was running late for work, so she was safe.  We have family friends that live in New York, and we talked to them also.  I went to a prayer service at my church that day, and I know that God is watching down on all of us and loving us. It is so confusing to me why someone could do something so cruel, even to someone they hate.  I will never be able to understand this trajedy fully because no one close to me was physically hurt or killed. </text>
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              <text>  I think that everyone's lives have changed.  There is a higher sense of patriotism in the air, people are friendlier, especially around the anniversary or September 11.  You see a lot more flags flying, and you hear a lot more people singing the national anthem at sports games.  </text>
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              <text>  I think we should all remember the people that were lost.  We should also concentrate on the positive of this event, the coming together of American citizens.  People came together within a week of this event, and there is still more people being patriotic.  </text>
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              <text>  My family put up an American flag on September 11, 2001, and today it is still up.  Before I never understood how much the flag means to people, but now I understand.  It's the feeling of togetherness in a country, the feeling of love, and the blessing of God. </text>
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              <text>      On September 11,2001 I was at school in lunch when I first found out the World Trade Towers 1 and 2 had both been hit by 2 airplanes in each building.  I didnt know how to react I still wasnt for sure what was really going on My friend lera was one of the people who came up to me at and told me what happened for the rest of the day all radios t.v. any kind of communication device was on all students were watching and listening to what ever they could to see what was happening all over the world.  Then, we find out that it really was terrorist attack everyone was in panic teachers were crying and students also.</text>
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              <text>It really hasnt changed my life that much im just more aware of my surroundings and who im with.</text>
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              <text>Because it was a tragic day in U.S. history and it should be remembered to help remember the heroes who helped America.</text>
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              <text>Yes it was soooo great to show that I was an American and that I was free.</text>
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              <text>     I think that on September 11th we should remember
all the innocent lives that were lost in the World Trade Center.  This includes the firemen, policemen, and the other people who died while trying to help others.  This tragedy should show us that we never know when our lives will end, so we need to appreciate the time we have with each other.  It has also shown us the value of making the most of each day.</text>
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              <text>It was September 11 2001.  It was my freshman year, and I really wasn't comfortable with high school yet.  It was third period and that meant it was time for English with Mrs. Hatler.  As I walked in, I noticed that the television as on.  When I sat down I saw Mrs. Hatler.  She had a very troubled look on her face.  I then looked up at the TV and saw what was going on.  As I looked up I see "BAM!!!!", a plane hit one of the WTC buildings.  I later found out that out that I had seen the second plane hit live.  At that point I really wasn't sure what had gone down.  I was worried, confused, and very interested all at the same time.  When I learned what had happened I was very sad.  </text>
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              <text>I think that everything should be remembered, the good and the bad.  We should remember all of the people that died on this horrific day.  We should remember all of the fire fighters who risked and lost there lives.  We should remember how quickly our president reacted to the situation. As for the terrorists they should remember not to mess with America.</text>
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              <text>Yes. They are much stronger.</text>
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              <text>Overall, my Sept 11 experience was more surreal than anything else.
I was attending class at DePaul University in Chicago's Loop, I then heard an announcement informing everyone to evacuate the building.  Thinking this was nothing more than a fire drill, we all left thinking nothing.  It was after I had looked at all of the Loop building entrances and realized this was no fire drill, as it seemed the entire city was emptying out onto the streets.  Very few people knew what was happening at the time.  I approached a woman leaving the Chicago Board of Trade and asked her if she knew what was happening. Her reply was a string of words that made little more sense than "twin towers are gone and the pentagon has been hit."  Knowing only then that something wasn't right to say the least, I decided to get on a train home, along with much of the Loop population.  After a 30 minute train ride in complete silence, I went home and turned on CNN.  Awe-struck to say the least I watched intently as the constant replays of the plane hitting the second tower ran through my head.  So many questions arose in my head that day, and unfortunately, not all of them still have an answer, even a year later.

Ian Nosek
Chicago, IL</text>
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              <text>I live in Adelaide Australia and my partner and i had just celibrated the conection of our new gas hot water service, with a fabulous bath, we went to bed and sat up watching the late night news. We watched in shock as the news of the first plane hitting the WTC there was live footage from NBC and it really didnt look that big as thhe fire hadnt taken hold. I bored my partner as i relived my memories of New York in the summer of 1987, it was a dreadful heatwave and moving around NY was a chore. I was staying at the New York Vista Hotel built at the base of the twin towers, it was one of the best highlights of my stay, looking out of my window work was going on across the road at the new winter gardens buildings. Anyway my rambelings soon sent my partner to sleep. All TV produtions ground to a holt and televised the story on every channel. I could still only think that this must have been an acident, like the B52 bomber that struck the Empire state building in 1945. 
My next memory is eched into my mind as i woke my partner screaming as the 2nd plane disappeared into the 2nd tower and then spewed its contents out the other side, as we watched i new that life asa we knew it had changed forever. It was one thing to have been there but to be sitting on the other side of the globe and watching it unfold live, i then understood why my moher could alway remember what she was doing when the news President Kenedy had been shot, or the day man landed on the moon, we were watching history as it happened.
we filled our bedroom with prayers as we watched the trapped take fate and jump, we cried as the pictures of Washington with the smoke in the background, with confusion as reports came thru of the Pentagon had been hit, I didnt see the first tower fall, my partner called to me from the bathroom, with all the smoke and dust i didnt know if he was joking or not, with that news just starting to sink  in i watched in horror as the top of the first hit tower started to tilt and then like a blur she melted into a consuming cloud that seemed to hug New York City for days.    </text>
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              <text>My life has changed, our lives have changed. i sit alone at home sometimes i can't even bear to go out side, i crindge when i hear a plane flying low, i shut my eyes and most of the time i see fire, not the towers all the time but some times i open my eyes and i see the room i'm in erupt into flames, i'm now on antidepression treatment for the past year, i'm am too scared to tell my partner or my doctor of what i see, i can only imagne what it must be like for the folk of NYC </text>
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              <text>3 YEARS ON I THINK WHAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER IS THAT HUMAN LIFE, GIVES ITS NAME TO HUMANITY. SO REGARDLESS OF RACE, CREED, BORDERS OR SEXUAL ORIANTATION, LIFE IS A GIFT THAT NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TAKE IT AWAY. WAR IS NOT THE WAY, PEACE CAN BE THE ONLY ANSWER.  </text>
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              <text>Getting dressed for work in Southern California. My youngest son comes in and says something happended in New York City. "It looks really bad". We turned on the television and watched for about 15 minutes when the second plane attacked. We watched for another hour before I reported for work, but not before putting up our flag.</text>
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              <text>As I entered my work facility, security officers were searching everyone who entered the gate. The guards and I knew each other but I had no problem with being extra careful. I'm an engineer working on a classified project - understand completely that in this stressful time, we must remember to take care of ourselves, our loved ones, our industries and our nation.

Since September 11, 2001 security all over the nation had risen dramatically. I like to think for the good, but some compromises are made as well. Police are more in force in traffic, pulling people over readily. I understand - looking, searching, gathering more information for their database. Unfortunately many in NEED of police support are not getting it - a father in Van Nuys was murdered before 9/11, now the officers that should be looking for the offender are on Homeland security effort.</text>
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              <text>This is too broad a question to be answered here. To answer "Everything" is insufficient.  

There were many international strifes that were looking good before 9/11; we had solid hope of addressing problems but now those same problems are much more challanging today.

Premise: U.S. Constitution and civilian population supports freedom of religon. A cornersome of our existence.
The attackers are Islamic based. If they would (not could) have realized that in the United States, there existed a movement -- that given another decade the U.S. would have grown into a solid allie in favor of recognizing the middle eastern religons.

FACT: Islam was the FASTEST growing religon in the United States --&gt; right up until September 11, 2001. The attackers hurt themselves even more than they hurt us.

To say "Everything" implies that we know and are aware of everything, and that is unrealistic, even though "everything" about 9/11/2001 deserves to be remembered.</text>
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Yea and No.</text>
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              <text>When the first plane hit the Trade Center, I was on a PATH train heading for the Trade Center with no idea what was going on.  I got off the train as usual and as I was coming up the escalator I heard loud voices.  As I got to the top, the police were frantically trying to get everyone out of the lobby.  The lobby was beginning to fill with smoke.  Several week before there was a subway fire.  I thought that this was a repeat.  As I exited at Church and Liberty Streets, I noticed debris on the ground.  I quickly went to the park at the opposite corner.  As I approached, I noticed a large crowd looking up with their mouths agape. I turned around and saw the top third of a trade tower on fire.  Years before I worked for an insurance brokerage firm that experienced a high rise fire in Brazil. I assumed that this was similar.  

As  I walked along Liberty Street I noticed an incredible amount of debris consisting of burned paper and white ash.  I went over to Wall Street to give myself some distance from the Trade Center.  As I got to Wall and William Streets, there was a SUV with the windows down and radio at full volume.  The announcement said that a plane hit the trade center.  The best thing to do was to get out of the area.  But how.  Next best, I continued to my office at Wall and South Streets.  By the time I got to my desk, a coworker picked up on a headphone radio that the plane was hijacked.  Then, he said a second plane hit the trade center.

We all were invited in to the conference room where CNN news was on the monitor.  The conference room had large windows.  The top of the trade center towers were visible with black smoke coming from them.  We were watching CNN as the first tower came down.  Outside the windows it turned dark.  Minutes later the second tower came down.  Outside the windows, day turned to night with no visibility.  The management at that point decided to evacuate the building.  I waited a few minutes for the air to clear and left.  

The NY City police would not let anyone go South.  One block south is Pier 11 with ferry service to New Jersey.  I walked north.  All subway service was stopped; all bus service was canceled.  All the busses I saw were on their way to the disaster site.  With no other mode of transportation, I walked several miles to Penn Station at 34th St.  It was closed.  On a radio I heard that there was ferry service at 31st Street.  When I arrived, I noticed that the pier was blocked by Sanitation trucks.  The NY City police were using it as a heliport.  Troops with rifles were guarding the site. A NY City policewoman told me to go to the Chelsea Piers at 26th Street.  There, ferries were running and a long line formed.  As I waited, a delta wing fighter flew overhead.  I finally got a ferry, but to Weehawken, not Hoboken.  Close enough.  As the ferry docked I noticed the trade center site burning.  Coincidentally, Seven World Trade Center collapsed as I watched from a ferry window.  At Weehawken there were busses for the trip to Hoboken.  As my bus got caught in traffic I finished the trip on foot.  At Hoboken I got a train to my home town.  On the train I borrowed a cell phone to call my wife.  On arrival a local fireman met the train and inquired if anyone was injured and needed assistance.  I was not.  My wife was waiting for me at the train station (very glad to see me).  I arrived home at 7:00 PM. </text>
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              <text>Working in lower Manhattan, I am constantly reminded of the events of 9-11. </text>
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              <text>America's vulnerability to terrorist attacks by enemies that appear to be all but invisible..</text>
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              <text>First off, I would like to extend my deepest sympathy to all those who lost loved ones and the biggest hug to all firemen, police, and volunteers who helpped to search for people did everything they could to deal with this situation.  God Bless you all!  I'm 23 and  live in Pittsburgh, not far from the Sumerset crash.  I was in school in downtown Pittsburgh at the time.  It was a beautiful day and just looked at it like everyone else did probably...just another long day.  Well, they evacuated the school maybe about 10 a.m.  They said there was a bomb threat at the federal building.  I wasn't feeling too well that day and most bomb threats are a hoax anyway so I was happy to leave. No one told us what was going on.  I was listening to Howard Stern on the way home and it just sounded like pure choas.  I still didn't really know what was going on.  I tried to call my mom at home and my dad at work to find out what was going on. I pretty much knew but didn't know how bad things really were. When I finally got home I was glued to the t.v.  Even seeing it with my own eyes I didn't want to believe it.  This is stuff that you see in a movie, not real life.  I was in shock!  I never felt so horrible in my life.  I cried about it then and still do sometimes.  My friends came over that night to hang out on the back porch and we drank beer and listened to the news station on the radio all night.  I'll never forget how weird it was not seeing any planes in the sky, but what I'll remember most (and wish it didn't take this for me to realize) was I was at home with my whole family and with my friends and we were all safe and sound. I was never so grateful as I was that day to see a sunset, talk to people I know, or just look at everyone and every day in a whole different perspective. Another thing is the way everyone came together. I never felt more proud to be an American.  Flags were flown, people on t.v. and radio shared their feelings and that is something you don't hear often.  For weeks I was terrified that something else may happen.  I stayed glued to Fox News listening to everything.  Even to this day I still have a nightmare here and there about planes crashing around the neighborhood.  I pray to never see a day like that again.  I say we go bomb the hell out of them. They deserve it.  Whatever happens to them I feel no sympathy. I love this country and all the heroes we have defending it and put their lives on hold to do what's right.  God bless the victims, families, firemen, police, military and everyone who works to defend this country regardless of the danger or circumstances they face.  There's no where else I'd want to live.  GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.</text>
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              <text>Austin, TX.  I prepared to enter the computer classroom but spent the few minutes before class, eating breakfast in front of my computer screen doing what I usually did when I had time to surf the internet.  I was reading the headlines on Foxnews.com when the first pictures began displaying.  They renewed every few minutes with a new blurb about how these planes flew into the World Trade Center. I walked into the classroom and told our instructor, my friend who was raised on Long Island.  She looked at me in disbelief; you can't fly over the WTC, so how could a plane fly into it?
Nine days earlier, my then-boyfriend and I permanently moved his belongings from Woodbridge NJ to Austin for his new job.  He had been laid off from his job in Manhattan months earlier.  Before we left the northeast, we'd had our last visit to Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty, having taken the train from Woodbridge NJ to Penn Station.  Some of his friends worked in and around the WTC, not to mention his family who lived and worked around the city.
When it was apparent everything we'd known about life vanished - security, trust, living - was gone.  Now everyone and everything was suspect.  My boyfriend got through to me at work and instructed me to go home to our apartment, stay inside and he'd be along.  I left immediately.  Some at my work remained, stunned but still thinking that, in Austin TX, no harm would come to us.  It was only after I'd left to go home that the University of Texas closed classes.  President Bush's daughter attended the school and if terrorists were after our president, they'd be certain to find his daughter.  It was then the Governor closed offices for the day.
In front of my TV set, shaken but unmoveable, I watched every television station channel seeing the incredible reporting from every angle of the WTC, the Pentagon and in Pennsylvania - all those planes, all those people, those family members, my fellow Americans... people who would never be able to tell us what life and death are life firsthand.  I cried.  For days after September 11, I cried.  I remained at home, stood out in the sunshine but heard no planes overhead for all the airports were closed.  I felt the warmth of the Texas sun but wondered when I was next.  Where would we be safe?  We could we go?  and how could I leave to find safety if my mother wasn't with me?  
Besides my own father's death 4 months earlier, September 11th remains the most important day of my life.</text>
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              <text>My life has changed incredibly.  I married my then-boyfriend two years later.  His family and friends live in New Jersey but for many of them, their lives were spent working in Manhattan.  Though we are Christian and have relatively little fear of dying, we are afraid to witness again - perhaps firsthand - terrorism.  Going to New Jersey from Texas has relative little risk, but leaving New Jersey gives thought as to who is on the plane with us.  Are they people looking to spread fear and violence to this plane, or to my home state?  I am more suspicious now.  Not of only "foreigners" but anyone who might think to raise his voice in a calm atmosphere.  I am at the ready to extinguish any sign of trouble now.  I want to defend my fellow man now.  I am ready.  And now, because I have said that, I am sure someone reading this thinks "this girl is nuts".  Had we each been more cautious, insightful, and quick to respond, we could have somehow prevented September 11th, but who wants to live their lives in such fear?</text>
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              <text>I think every event in history is remembered for the lives that were lost or the damage inflicted or the incredible violence.  For most of us, those events happened to other people, in other places, some other time.  For most of us, we will never firsthand experience a September 11th even if we live to be old.  But each generation has experienced something as unique and terrifying as September 11th.  We should be prepared - somehow - to respond to these events with courage, vigor, compassion, and STOP THINKING THIS CAN'T HAPPEN TO ME.</text>
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              <text>Yes.  I only recently (2004) stopped wearing my American flag pin on my lapel.  It has been, literally, through the wash(ing machine) and needs to be replaced.  The American flag is a larger symbol of those of us who live here.  I am proud to be Here, to be in America, to be American, NOT because I think we are better here than anywhere else in the world.  But because I have been fortunate to have gained an education, practiced my religion freely, and all those other things that America has allowed me to do so that I might be able to give that to another.
Whatever anger I feel about September 11th - who did this, why, how can I stop it from happening again - is turned loose so that I might focus on serving my God's people while I have breath in me.</text>
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              <text>I remeber waking up and eating waffles.  The cooler had frozen over night so it was cold. My aunt had turned on the news and was crying. So what? I thought. They deserved it. I just wish it was me instead. </text>
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              <text>I am supposed to care about all of the people that died, but I don't so it feels wierd answering this question. People think I am inconsiderate and uncaring. </text>
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          <description>What do you think should be remembered about September 11th?</description>
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              <text>Um I think they should just forget.</text>
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              <text>I never liked he flag anyway so I didn't fly it and it didn't change.</text>
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              <text>The morning began uneventfully - I was using my first block planning period to get organized.  My World Civilization classes had been studying the safavid empire and that Tuesday was to be devoted to a more in depth discussion of Islam.  How bizarre is that?  I had the television on one of the morning news shows, as always, and watched the horror unfold from the beginning.  When my students (all sophomores)joined me for second block, most had no idea anything was going on.  We watched the scene unfold in shocked silence.  Several sobbed, but no one said a word.  That's what I will remember about that day - the students were hit so hard by the images they were seeing that they were totally silent and transfixed.  They didn't want to even talk about it at first - writing about it was easier.  Within several days they were able to begin asking questions, and engaging in discussion about it, but not right away.  This continued with my third and fourth block classes, but my connection to 9-11 will be with that first group, who lost their innocence so to speak right in my classroom as those towers fell.</text>
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              <text>I woke up to the news blaring, as usual, but something was different. I ran downstairs to turn on the TV. The speculation that an airplane had accidententally run into one of the Twin Towers was quickly dashed as I watched with horror as the second plane hit the second tower. The absolute silence on the air told me that everyone watching was stunned with disbelief. This was no accident.  </text>
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              <text>Life in the United States has changed, and mine with it. There is a wariness about people and things, about which you experience some guilt. I never thought about being afraid that someone might blow up a plane, or a rapid transit train, or a public facility. I like the seemingly new found ptriotism though. But I do think a lot about what it is that makes other people in the world hate us so much. Maybe we need to change as much as they do.</text>
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              <text>It would be nice to remember how close we all felt to one another. I think we should remember how wonderful and powerful we are when we come together with love and caring in our hearts and deeds.</text>
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              <text>I first heard about what happened when I was walking to my second period class.  All my friends were saying a plain hit the World Trade Center and I was confused and thought it was a joke because I had never heard that much about the World Trade Center.  I hadn't seen the twin towers ever before, and I wish I had.  When I got to my second period class I figured out exactly what happened and my teacher had his hand over his mouth as we all watched the towers on fire.  I was one of the first in my class to see the second plane hit and I then got a sick feeling in my stomach.  Then they collapsed during third period and I felt terrible.  I thought my dad might have been in New York on business when it happened but I called my mom at lunch and it turned out he was in Chicago.  I was really worried and I didn't feel good, but my dad drove home the next day.  </text>
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              <text>I think my life has changed a lot since 9/11.  I know that all the people in New York have experianced a lot more tragedy in their lives than I can say I have, and I wish them only the best.  I always get sad when I think about what happened and i don't like hearing the interviews by the people who experianced the attack.  It always gets me in a very bad mood and I am a very happy person.  I would like to send all my love to the people of New York, and I am hoping that everything will get back to normal.</text>
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              <text>I think that all the brave people around the world should be remembered and also how we handled the situation.  I think that the Americans handled the situation better than I would have expected.  If I had been alone during the tragedy I wouldn't have handled the attack like I did.  I think the New York Fire Department should be remembered most of all.  They were some of the bravest people I have evr seen in my entire life. </text>
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              <text>I didn't fly a flag the day of the attack, but when I visited Chicago I did by a flag and I have it hanging in my room, and I don't think I will ever take it down.  I have a lot of little flags also.  I have a lot of feelings about the flag, and I am proud to have it as our own.  I feel pride when I look at it, but I feel sorrow for all the people who lost loved ones and friends in the attack also.  God Bless America.</text>
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              <text>   I was in Vienna, Austria, at the time of the attacks. I had just gotten off the bus and was about to board a boat on a Hundertwasser tour of the city (he is an Austrian architect and artist). It was 3:45 PM their time, which is 8:45 AM in New York--I later discerned this, when I reflected on events. I felt the spirit of my late beloved Uncle Felix Taube, whose fortune I've been living off of, mainly, ever since his death in 1996 from a heart attack in Cairo, Egypt, on a tour with my Tia Melida. His presence was palpable--almost like he was standing right before me again. He told me that he knew how to make money, but he wasn't happy, and I was smart to want to seek enlightenment. I had been on retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh, the venerable Zen master, a few weeks prior to that, in late August at UC San Diego. I had taken the five mindfulness trainings from him there, along with masses of others. In them, we commit not to kill, even in our minds, among other things. He and Sister Chan Khong, his senior disciple, are prohibitted from teaching in Vietnam to this day, I believe, because of their opposition to the war there in the 1960s. He is one of the great peace-makers of all time, and I'd been an informal student of his for several years, already, and also a practitioner at Green Gulch Farm Zen Center, which is a different lineage, near where I live at Muir Beach, California. This visitation of my Uncle Felix's spirit felt supernatural, in the most literal sense of the word--I did not panic. I later was meditating, and his spirit came to me again, and said he'd been looking for relatives that day. His spirit has often come to me since then, with the same basic message, with variations on the theme--that, for instance, he knows that no one else in the family is trying to seek enlightenment, but it is a worthwhile goal, as it is life's highest. I had learned this as a student of Ayurvedic medicine some years ago, in Cambrigde, Massachusetts. 
   Anyway, after this spiritual visitation from my Uncle Felix, which I didn't relate consciously to any terrorist attack for quite a while, I got on the boat designed in the style of Hundertwasser for a tour of the Danube River. It was there that I passed "The Millennium Tower," as it is called, a tall skyscraper, which had a video monitor on it that read, in German, which is not easy for me anymore--"Terrorism in the US." My first inclination was to believe that this was a false alarm, perhaps--certainly nothing this big, and I did not panic. But later, when I met an American named Robin Fowler on the tour--also someone, who, by chance, lived in the San Francisco Bay area, like I do--we found out from a street vendor wanting us to go to a beer garden on the world-famous Kartnerstrasse about the devastation of the attacks. We'd turned him down--Robin in a more hastened way than I. Being part Austrian, I didn't want the man to think me impolite, and I stayed back for a moment, as she moved on. He asked, "Are you Americans?" And we answered, "Yes." He said, "The World Trade Center no longer exists," and I knew it was true. I just had to see it with my own eyes for it to register. So we went to her hotel room nearby to watch it on CNN before dinner. We must have watched, in horror, about 50 times, as the planes struck their targets over and over again on various forms of videotape. I think only then did it sink in. 
   Robin was going to Italy the next day, so she was not my companion anymore after that night. I did have friends in or near the city, from when I lived there as a child. Vienna is where my father was born, and I hadn't been there in 28 years,  not since I was 12. I went on the advice of a Vedic monk now named Swamini Mayatitananda, but then called Bri. Maya Tiwari, who wrote several books on the ancient healing practice of Ayurveda. I called and visited old family friends, from before World War II, when my father and his family, including my Uncle Felix, had to flee Austria, due to Nazi persecution, when they were in the teens, still. In fact, my father had been a Gestapo prisoner at the beginning of the invasion of Hitler and his armies. Both my parents are Holocaust survivors. My mother is German, and she was 13 when her family had to sell everything it had for very little and flee to the jungles of Puyo, Ecuador, where they farmed bananas and raised cows, though my grandfather had been a lawyer in a prestigious firm before the Nazi takeover.
   My Austrian friends were sympathetic to me. My flights home to the San Francisco area on British Airways to London and then Virgin Atlantic out of it, were canceled. I think we were all in shock for some time. They'd say things like how Bush is a "warrior" and the terrorist attacks were not war, though he and his administration and the media clearly would declare them to be. I was not surprised to learn later that he and his administration "knew" about them ahead of time. I did not vote for George Bush. No one I know did. He is a fraud, and I think this country is still getting over that tragedy--that more than 200 years after so-called "independence" from England, we still don't have a just system that elects, rather than selects, a president. It's embarrassing. I feel like I live in a lawless nation. I feel betrayed as an American citizen. Anyway, my Austrian friends--indeed everyone in Austria--the desk clerks at the hotel where I stayed, the cab drivers who'd drive me back there every night after my sightseeing, would all say the basic same sort of thing--that war is not the answer. I wholely agree. I loved this about my father's country, which used to be the seat of much military power, when Hitler invaded, many years ago. My father, too, had sold the house he inheritted there, by some miracle, the one the Nazis didn't take during their takeover, during the 1980s, when Kurt Waldheim was in power. He was afraid of a Nazi takeoever again, and that he'd lose it--he got a fraction of what it was worth from the next owners, who then sold it after some refurbishing. The present owners, the Bittners, let me see it inside, and I'd say things like how I recognize this or that after 28 years and a lot of work on it.
   Eight years ago, I lost my last full-time, paid job with a military contractor called EDS in Virginia, because I discovered I love everyone too much to work for anything so "life-disrespecting" as that, as I called it then. Now, I'd call it worse--the military is "death-worshipping," to use a term Alice Walker coined. I do wish the war in Afghanistan would end. Killing thousands of innocent victims in the name of the "war on terrorism" is not the answer. 
   Of course, we are hurt. We can be angry, too--but taking it out on them is not the solution. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind," as Mahatma Gandhi said.
   I had to wait five extra days after my original flights home to get back to the States, where I live and was born. I had to stay the night in London on the 19th, as Virgin required check-in 3 hours in advance, and no flight out of Vienna left that early, as mine from London was scheduled at 11 AM that day. I stayed the night in a Quaker hotel, the Penn Club, where I'd been before my trip to Vienna. I had stayed there as a volunteer for the Foundation for Women's Health, Research, and Development (FORWARD), which is opposed to female genital mutilation, a cause I believe strongly in. I'd been a supporter for a number of years, but in the current stock market--I rely on it and my parents' generosity almost solely for my income--it is harder to contribute, and I don't do so regularly anymore. I'm appalled, too, my tax dollars are going to fund this war I don't support morally, and never really have, in my heart. I'm a pacifist, and that seems like a revolutionary act nowadays, whereas before, it was more commonplace--a right we all have as citizens. 
   Anyway, while in London, I'd also help homeless people I'd see on the streets there--mostly men, but also some women refugees from Afghanistan, I believe. They'd come up to me with two or three small children each, also with their little palms outstretched, desperate for alms--large amounts of them, which I'd give, unbelievably. Women at FORWARD couldn't believe I'd do this--give, say, 10 or 20 pounds to one woman, desperate for herself and her children, but I did. The concierge of the fancy hotel they'd panhandle in front of would "shoo" them away, almost as if they were flies.
   In Austria, there was hardly any homelessness--I saw relatively few people on the streets in Vienna my whole time there, and most of those were musicians who seemed fairly well off--with homes, anyway. The tour guide told us that 40% of the housing is subsidized there, and this is very important to them. My friend Renate Bock said that the military wanted more planes, and didn't get any. The government cares about its people and won't war elsewhere now. I love that about it. True, I'd still come across some anti-Semitism, such as when a cab driver who took me back to the hotel said that the Jews were to blame for the terrorist attacks. I remained calm, though half my ancestry is Jewish. I said I heard Bin-Laden did it. I still don't know if this was true. I hear varying reports about whether he confessed to the crime. One thing I think Austria should do to improve itself is integrate the people better. It had been nearly 30 years since I had been in a major metropolitan city that was mainly white, though Uno City in Viennna, is slowly beginning to integrate it.
   The terrorist attacks were a crime, and should be tried as such in an international tribunal, when the correct parties responsible are found. 
   Another thing I loved about Austria--they have no death penalty there, so when I told friends from Kritzendorf, Frau Schima and Frau Putz, about the case of Mumia Abu-Jamal, who was on death row for a crime he did not commit, killing a police officer, Daniel Faulkner, it was difficult to get the point across. How do you explain death row in a country where it does not exist? They were flabbergasted the real killer, Arnold Beverly, had confessed, and yet Mumia was not set free. I said it's because he is black and this is a racist system. Beverly had been hired by the mob and corrupt police to kill Faulkner, who was not "on the take" to let them run their drug, gambling, and prostitution rings. By some "miracle"--more on this later--Mumia's death sentence was lifted late last year, though the real killer confessed in 1999, from what I understand. I feel afraid just writing this, as if you will hold it against me, and "turn me in." This is how much I believe our basic rights of freedom of speech have been withdrawn by the fraudulent Bush administration.
   While in Austria during this time, I went to numerous services for the victims of the 9/11 attacks--several at the world-famous Stefansdom, in the heart of the city, where I'd light candles for us all. I'd meet American citizens who were struggling with their feelings, too. One couple at the Augustinerkirche, also near the heart of the city, I spoke with had a relative in the Pentagon. They were clearly frightened and alarmed. During this service, the Mozart "Requiem" was played in honor of the terrorist victims. It was most moving in the beautiful, ancient cathedral. I also went to Schonbrunn, the summer palace of the Hapsburgs a century ago. There, I met two American men hosteling across Europe, and we commisserated about feeling guilty about "enjoying" ourselves despite this tragedy.  
   In a way, I was kind of "glad" to be in Austria longer, as I could visit more places, believe it or not. My original proposed stay of five days was too short to get to all the places I wanted to see after all these years. I'd revisited churches from my childhood and so on. I went back to Kritzendorf for lunch with Frau Schima and Frau Putz, though their children, who were more my age, did not come, too.  I learned a lot about the ancestors. For one, my sobriety date--I'm in recovery for drug and alcohol abuse--is the same as the Founder's Day at the Stift Klosterneuburg, which is the monastery dedicated to the Virgin Mary, near where I started drinking in 1973, on my last visit there at the age of 12 with my parents. True story. I'm not making this up. And I learned that there is a tomb for Schindler in the cemetery where some of my ancestors called Janacek are buried. I think this too is not a coincidence, given our histories. 
   I lit candles for the terrorist victims after the Augustinerkirche "Requiem" and I felt the presence of the Madonna strongly. I heard Her voice in my head say to study from the Vedic monk whose idea it was for me to revisit my do than England and the US, which is in a similar situation--letting people live on the streets and go hungry, while its military gets most of the funding for its many war efforts. I believe he considered going to Austria one day...It was just so nice to be in a country again where war is not the answer, believe me. I also view the terrorist attacks as a direct response to the way this country wages war on innocent people and has for decades. And I feel very brave for writing this to a national agency for its archives. Nothing I write here is meant to inflame politics. I simply write my truth. I have a cold, at present, so forgive me if I sound bitter, please.              </text>
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              <text>   Prior to September 11th, I was in the process of seeking enlightenment anyway, and had been for several years. In 1998, I moved to Northern California, because I agreed with the great writer, Alice Walker, when she wrote in the introduction of "Horses Make a Landscape Look More Beautiful," that her spirit feels fully expanded here. I loved that feeling and it was worth moving here for. I had come here for the first time for panchakarma, which is Ayurvedic rejuvenation and detoxification, in the summer of 1997. It was just as the Princess of Wales and Mother Teresa died within days of each other. That was a very devastating event for me, too, and they inspired me to self-publish a book of poems I'd been writing called, "Cherry Tree Lane," for a charitable fund I started with some of my own money, as it didn't sell well. I ended up giving it to Prince William and Prince Harry, the former of whom held a press conference some months afterward, in which he too defended his beloved mother against slander in the press. That is where my book comes from--in defense of her after such attacks. It never sold well, as I don't do readings. But now that I've survived the terrorist attacks, its ultimate theme of peace seems more relevant than ever. Also, Mumia's death sentence was lifted and I write of the movement to free him in it. Sister Nirmala, to whom I also sent the book and a first revision after editorial feedback, had put his name on Mother Teresa's tomb, among other things. The Sisters of Charity prayed for his release, too. I have had post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), since I was about 12, and the slander about Diana was regarding her having a similar disorder, borderline personality. I figure if the author of that book, Sally Bedell Smith, can publish her "work," I might as well publish mine. I actually would like for a real publisher to pick up the manuscript, as I don't market it well.  
   Since the terrorist attacks, I have suffered some more PTSD symptoms, related to them, such as grief at the anniversary, which was just recently. I also feel more of a sense of foreboding about the future--which is iffy. Do I have one? I find myself grateful for each and every day I'm alive, lately, and that's a blessing.
   I don't feel like I've "lived up to" my dead Uncle Felix's advice that day--to seek enlightenment. I've tried. It hasn't been so easy. Not everyone accepts a person with PTSD. Green Gulch didn't for a two-month practice period I'd applied to do before I even left the States last year in late August. I'd made sure to go to Althorp, where Diana is buried, and which I'd visited the previous year, on my first trip to England since 1985. I'd wanted to go back right away, and planned to the next summer, but I had a nervous breakdown that summer after a friend of mine with the New York City Ballet named Joseph Duell killed himself. I didn't go back in all that time, so returning was like keeping an age-old promise to myself. 
   In June of 2001, however, I had the good fortune to meet the great "hugging saint of India," Mata Amritanandamayi, or Amma, as she is affectionately known. Her biography had just come out and the author, Judith Cornell, gave a reading at Book Passage, one of my favorite Bay area bookstores. I went to Amma's main ashram in the US, which is in San Ramon, where she was giving darshan, which means to be with a great soul, on her nearly perpetual world tour. Judith's book was full of miraculous healings Amma had performed with her darshan, so I definitely had to go. My first darshan was nice, with lots of people milling about, good food, a bookstore that benefits her many charities, and bhajans, which are great devotional songs. I was ushered right up and got darshan immediately, which was nice--a privilege for first-timers. The next darshan, two days later, after I read more of Judith's book, I asked Amma for specific healings. I handed her a note, asking for them--not all for myself, mind you; I also gave her the Arnold Beverly confession, which was in the depositions in the Mumia Abu-Jamal case. The next day, I was talking to my friend Michaela on the phone, talking of going to Amma for these healings. I was rubbing my ankle, which the podiatrist had diagnosed with a sinus tarsi problem, and he'd wanted to inject it with corticosteroids. The moment I told Michaela of this, while rubbing this ankle, it got better, after half a year of not being able to rotate it much without extreme pain. It was my first in many "Amma miracles," I'd witnessed or felt in my own body or heard about. Some time later, Mumia's death sentence was lifted, too, and I consider that an "Amma miracle," as well. 
   In November, she returned to the M.A. Center, which is her ashram in San Ramon, on her second world tour that year. She is considered an incarnation of Devi, the Divine Mother, by millions of devotees world-wide, many of whom attest to such miracles. Anyway, I'd told myself I'd go back there as much as possible when she is here again. I had pre-arranged to do a sesshin, which is a seven-day meditation retreat, at Green Gulch, the previous summer, so I missed her retreat at the ashram then, where she is in the mood of the Divine Mother for Devi Bhava, where she gives darshan all night to the thousands who come for that, free of charge. She also feeds the more than 1000 people who come for the retreat itself, in a place called the "Area of Refuge," which normally warehouses the vast amount of donations for AIMS, her full-service hospital for the poor in Kerala, India, where she was born self-acutalized. She was a servant in the family from the age of 9, when her mother fell ill, but she'd always called to God, from birth on. She endured many hardships, such as a severe beating when she' stole her mother's jewelry to give it to those poorer than themselves, though they were not well off. One day, she incarnated as Lord Krishna before people whod' been reading a story about His life. They'd wanted a miracle to "prove" it--and she reluctantly told them to come back another day, though she said that if she'd performed one, they'd want more. On that day, she turned water in a bowl into pudding that fed the masses that came, and ever since then, she's had devotees. 
   I got a mantra from her that Devi Bhava, where I also got one of her Devi Bhava saris, which is made of real gold and silk--all proceeds of what she sells is for her many charities, which include not only AIMS, but schools, orphanages, at least one other hospital and hospices. She's building 25,000 homes for the homeless in India, where she also has 50,000 pensions for poor widows. After the earthquake in Gujurat, she adopted the three worst-hit villages in Bhuj, and they have been largely rebuilt and were renamed after her.
   Needless to say, I became more devoted to her all this time. This summer, after wanting to tour with her for months, I went on the US tour with her. Iwent to seven out of eleven cities in 6 weeks. Not bad, for a first-timer. I visited two sites associated with the terrorist attacks--where the World Trade Center was and also the Pentagon. Outside of the one where the World Trade Center stood, which was at the time just a 6-story pit 16 acres wide, many people had left prayers for peace. I particularly loved the origami cranes of peace from all over the world. Some had Asian handwriting on each little wing--true masterpieces, strung together in huge bunches. The legend has it 1000 cranes of peace represent the peace we all want. At St. Paul's Chapel across from "the site," were at least 1,000,000 cranes of peace from all over the world. Truly moving. And people left banners, which they'd signed. One was written by someone who signed, "Felix," and I felt my Uncle Felix's spirit again, as I have often over the year. I know he didn't personally write that, as he's been gone for 6 years now, but it was nice to feel his presence again, and remember what "he" said to me that fateful day. I left a note thanking everyone for their prayers and saying I had survived the terrorist attacks, too--and that we all had. And inviting people to join us for Amma's program at Columbia University at that time, where she was giving darshan to the masses, as usual. I wonder how many came. I also left a similar note at the Pentagon, where a much smaller, less personal memorial had been left. Two trees had been planted on a hillside within about 15 feet of each other and people put mementos there--mostly red, white, and blue plastic flowers that seemed more patriotic than anything else. I met a man there who was with his girlfriends' daughters and he expressed interest in driving to Manhattan to see "the site" there, as well. I said it's well worth a visit. I gained a lot of comfort reading the prayers for peace people left, though some wanted war. The note I left outside the Pentagon, which seemed very quiet, even for a Saturday, which it was--only about 1/3 of the parking lot was full, if that--said that I lost my last full-time permanent job with a military contractor over 8 years ago because I love everyone too much to work for the military anymore, and it is my sincere hope and belief that everyone has this capacity. Then, we wouldn't have need for a place like the Pentagon to begin with. :)  
   True story. After I got back to the States, I checked the websites of Amma and Maya Ma, as Swi. Mayatitananda is called affectionately. They both said that praying for peace is the most important thing we can do at this time, and I agreed. Both gave specific instructions, though Amma's said to chant, "Om lokaha samastaha sukhino bhavantu," which means, "May all beings have peace and happiness," in Malayalam, her native tongue. We were to do this before a lit candle, with eyes closed, seeing the light becoming divine and shining on all beings in the Universe for fifteen minutes each night at 8 PM for two weeks. So I did this, as best I could, and I liked doing it so much that I kept up the practice way over the two weeks. It extended into months. Then, when she was here in November again, I told myself I'd do this again after she was gone, because at the ashram, we chanted this, as usual, only three times, during satsang. Later, I began to write a book about my first year devoted to her, which was just to be an essay, at first, but it grew. I filed a drafts in my essay folder on my computer--only it had a new folder I never created called, "Ammachi.org_Householder's file." In it was what looked like the website where the prayer for peace was relayed. Only I never downloaded this site--I wouldn't know how to do that to my Word system, anyway. No one else could have done that but Amma, though she's never been over to the little apartment I lived in then downstairs from where I live now, in the main house, which is rented out boarding-room style. And the weird thing about this Ammachi.org_Householder's file was that about the only file I could read from the many "saved" there, was the prayer for peace I chanted nightly before her return to San Ramon in November. 
    Another irony--I'd been aligning my menstrual cycle with the new moon, following ancient Vedic tradition that Bri. Maya Tiwari wrote of in her book, "The Path of Practice." Doing so is apparently central to women's good health, according to these texts. I became very attuned to the moon's cycle, during this time, as some of the practice has to do with moon-bathing the first three nights of the full moon, and so on. Sound familiar? It does to me. Anyway, I don't know if this is related, but I was driving down to Santa Cruz one day on Route 1, which I sometimes do, as it's a beautiful drive. Santa Cruz was where I was when Mother Teresa died and I saw her and the Princess of Wales' funerals on TV in a hotel room there during my panchakarma that summer. So it has sentimental value to me. And I stopped the car to go for a walk on one of the many beaches along the way. I went into a hut made of found logs on the beach and felt a shift occur. I felt so connected to the Earth through my womb. I believe part of it has to do with the new moon sadhanas, as Maya Ma calls them. I knew I did not want to self-impose exile to Switzerland, which is considered neutral in times of war, though I read that it gave Nazis aid during the war, for which it has sorely made up in recent times. When the bombing of Afghanistan started, my first desire was to move to Switzerland, which I hadn't been to in 35 years. But I didn't go. I read you need a lot of money--something like a million dollars to a foreigner to move there, and I don't have anywhere near that right now. I was born here, and I don't want to leave the land of my birth, I knew in that moment in that hut. Just then, I felt a shift in the Universe, as I sometimes do, and I knew there'd be a change in world events, too. The next day, the newspapers screamed that Bush wants peace in Israel, as war had started up again there, too. Just the previous day, they'd said that he backed the war. So the Lord works in mysterious ways, no?
    I have also renewed the five mindfulness trainings, recently, on retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh, at UC San Diego, once again. But I'm not as enlightened as I'd like to be. I believe I'm a lot more enlightened than the present administration, though, which never attempts to make peace much, only war. Those headlines changed, by the way. They always do.                   
        
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              <text>  I'm not sure I can add anything to what I've written, already. I wrote far more than I thought I'd write, and I have a cold, as I wrote before. </text>
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              <text>  I thought it was a cheap shot of "President" Bush to ask us all to fly an American flag after the events of 9/11. We did not elect him. What if some of us don't feel that kind of allegiance to the flag, which perpetrated such a fraud against the American people? I have never flown an American flag. I never will. I have never owned one. I exercise my right as a US citizen not to, actually. As a child, I'd exercise this right, too, in school--when other children stood and pledged allegiance to the flag, I remained seated. Believe me, I am terrified writing you of this, as if it's illegal not to pledge allegiance to the flag. It's not. Bush and his administration need to know that. We aren't going to watch our basic human rights as citizens eroded in the name of his "war on terrorism," which has a vague recipient, at best. I did, however, fly a yellow ribbon from the antenna of my car for a while, until the automatic car wash I went to torn it all off--including the antenna. Now, I have one less source of media coverage to contend with as I drive, and I guess that's a blessing in disguise.   </text>
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              <text>I was in my supervisor's office and everyone was gathered around his desk watching tv when I noticed it was the Twin Towers in New York City.  There had been a crash with a plane hitting one of the buildings there.  As we were watching and wondering if the crash was intentional, we noticed a plane from the right side of the tv screen  that was headed straight for the Towers.  We all watched in horror as the second plane crashed also.  Now we knew it was a deliberate act of violence.  We were all stunned.  As I left his office for my own tv in my office, I realized I had felt this feeling before, when I was in the 10th grade.  President Kennedy had been shot and our principal was addressing over the loud speaker.  At that time, I was in Algebra class and my pencil fell from my hand in disbelief.  The same feeling was back that I had experienced 37 years before.  A numbness came over me then and again on 9/11/01.
We were all sent home where we sat glued to the TV set not really believing the horror that was on the TV.  The tears started coming and were very hard to hold back, so I gave up and just kept the kleenex stuck to my nose.  It had become raw and red.  Our family cried together.
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              <text>Suddenly everything became very focused.  Nothing seemed to matter except family and friends.  The errands, the chores, the busy work, none of that was important.  All that seemed to matter now was make sure you say your feelings and don't worry about what others may think.  Tell your husband, daughter, mother what you truely feel because it could all be over in a blink.  
I began being faithful about praying and asking for help for the world.  I prayed for longer years with my spouse and daughter.  I stopped nagging about things that really did not matter.  "Whatever" had a truer meaning now.  
I still cry when I think of that day and give thanks for every day I have with my family and how lucky I am to live in this country.  Those terrorists are so misguided and so sick.  </text>
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              <text>They may bomb out buildings, kill our loved ones and think they have conquered their enemy, but they have truely under estimated the American people.  Our nation became one that day with a common cause of love for our country, our fellow man and our God.  We were founded by "In God We Trust" and it is in the heart of all our souls.  We are a people that will never be "owned" and our beliefs run very deep.  The world may not see this side of our Country very much, but when the chips are down, we all pull together.  We would rather die fighting for what is right than let them win.  All those people that died, died not in vain, but showed us what our true priorities were from that moment on.</text>
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              <text>Yes.  I bought flags for the cars, flags for the door, and a flag for the driveway.  I wore an American Flag pin on my clothes.  And yes, the flag really had meaning for me now, not just our country's flag.</text>
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              <text>i had just goton in to secound period and our teacher quietly rolled in the t.v. with out a sound and turned it on. IT was like a movie we saw the secound plain hit. it was like a movie i was in complet shock the whole time. i had no idea were the plans had came from so i didn't know if my dad had been on one.luckly my dad wasn't flying any of them.</text>
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              <text>Not really although it made me more aware of everything after sept.11 plains didn't fly for awhile so when i started hereing plains it scared me.</text>
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              <text>the life of those who where saved we shold remember the lifes lost but we should celebrate the firemens boldness and bravery some lost there lifes so others lived.</text>
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              <text>yes we flew a flag and my feelings have changed im more proud of it.</text>
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              <text>I left my morning class about 9:15am and went to the Student Union building at my university, I picked up some breakfast and walked into the lounge where 2 people were watching the events on TV. I sat down and watched, they then showed a replay of the second plane striking the tower, I was stunned. A larger group started to form around the TV. They then went to a split shot and showed the World Trade Centers and another building and someone remarked "oh no, what's that?" and I said "it looks like the pentagon." The group continued to grow, and aside from the occasional new commer to the group asking what was happening, it was nearly silent. After a while they went to a shot from a helicopter circling the site, after about 5 minutes I said "oh god, there's only one building" and then another replied "what?" and right away another replied "one of the towers must have collapsed, the helicopter has been circling the building so the tower isn't hidden behind the other tower." Slowly over time the group shrunk some, most people going back to their dorms since classes had, by then, been canceled. Even in the dorms most people had their doors open. TVs in everyone's rooms were all showing the same thing. I didn't matter what channel you turned to you always had the same topic.</text>
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              <text>I wanted to fly an American flag after that but there was no where to buy one, all I had was the little one on my desk.</text>
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